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Absolutes!
There are those who want us to believe there are no absolutes in this world, and most of those who believe this narrative are of the pathetic assumption that genders fit into the category of “non-absolutes”.
However, I’d like to approach this pathetic gender ridden non-absolute idea by sharing a story that I totally made up, that never happened and is complete fiction, that might help you understand how absolutes are necessary.
Let’s begin!
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Once upon a time . . . at a local school board meeting there was a much-heated debate about the proper use of pronouns in referring to a child who preferred that other students refer to her/him as “they or them or these” instead of “he or she or him or her”.
During the very lengthy and contentious debate that lasted for what seemed to be an eternity, an elderly man, who was followed by three young people of various ages, approached the microphone and began to speak.
“Thank you all for allowing me this time to talk with you. I will try to keep this brief since many in the room have already shared their opinions on the matter; and since we’ve all been here for quite some time, I think you can agree that we’re all feeling a bit exhausted.
“I would like to begin by introducing the three students to my left. First, we have Billy, age 15. Next is Abigail, age 13 and next to her is Kari, age 9.
“All three of these students attend various public-school institutions in this city that you all preside over. And the reason I brought these young children with me today, is because I’d like to ask each of them to answer a simple math question.
“Starting here with Billy… What does two plus two equal?”
Without hesitation Billy replied, “Four!”
The elderly man asked the same question of Abigail…
“Eighteen,” replied Abigail.
The elderly man then asked the same mathematical question to Kari who eagerly replied, “Twenty-two!”
After hearing each answer from the three pupils the room suddenly became filled with murmurs and gasps from shocked parents and school board members. Everyone looked a bit concerned after hearing these answers from each individual student; but before any of them could utter a word the elderly man spoke up,
“Now, I’d like to ask each of you students, individually, why did you come up with the answer you did? Let’s begin with Kari who said the answer was twenty-two…”
Kari, face beaming with delight, stated; “Because I want it to be twenty-two. I know it’s twenty-two because when you put the numbers two and two together it makes twenty-two.”
Next was Abigail who replied, “It’s eighteen because I believe it to be eighteen. No one can tell me any different because I believe what I want to believe, and my answer is correct for that reason, and that reason alone!”
Then Billy, holding up two fingers on either hand said, “Two plus two is four because it’s basic math. When you have two objects and then you add another two objects it makes four total objects. There is no other correct answer. Both Kari and Abigail are incorrect.”
After hearing this, and clearly offended, Abigail fought back by saying, “That’s total rubbish!! How dare you judge me?! Two plus two is eighteen because I say it’s eighteen!! There is no right or wrong answer here!”
Kari also chimed in, “Exactly! How dare you judge us and tell us we’re wrong! That’s intolerant and hateful and makes me feel bad!!!” Then turning and directing her gaze at the school board members Kari asked, “Are you going to sit there and let him be intolerant and hateful to me!?! DO SOMETHING!!!”
In stunned silence and embarrassment, each of the school board members peered at one another in disbelief hoping someone on the board would say something to calm the situation, but before they could utter a word the elderly man, clearly seeing the embarrassment of the school board members, took it upon himself to disarm the situation.
“Thank you, children. That’s all for now, you can each return to your seats.
The elderly man then turned his gaze back to the school board members and asked a rather pointed question,
“Okay, you’ve heard their arguments. Now I’d like to ask you, as an educated school board member, how many of you on this board believe that all three of the students gave the correct answer, please raise your hands?”
After seeing that no school board member dared raise their hand, the elderly man asked, “How many of you believe two of the students gave the correct answer to the equation: two plus two . . . please raise your hands?”
Again, no board member raised a hand.
The elderly man decided to narrow the focus of his question to force an exact answer from the board and asked, “By a show of hands, how many of you board members believe the student, who said that two plus two equals four, was correct in his answer?”
Every board member raised their hand, to which the elderly man replied…
“Really!? So, all of you agree that there was only ONE correct answer to the equation, two plus two?
“No offense to Kari or Abigail, but the consensus of everyone in this room is that both young ladies were incorrect in their respective answers, and no amount of arguing or name calling by them will persuade us to believe otherwise.
“The equation of “two plus two”, along with ALL other mathematical equations, proves that absolutes do exist in this world and MUST exist!
“Consequently, the idea, or even the notion, that two plus two would equal anything other than four means there would be no absolutes and mathematics would be left to the interpretation of each individual person.
“And if all mathematical equations are left to the interpretation of each person, then how will you know if you get the correct change at a retailer? Or how will banking institutions accurately figure interest on your financial accounts? Or how can architects build or construct bridges or buildings?
“For example. . . Let’s say that Kari is a contractor, and you want to build a house with a budget not to exceed $250,000. You understand that two plus two equals four, but as a contractor, Kari believes that math equations are up to her own interpretation and have no absolute answer. In her mind two plus two could equal 400, 500 or 22. . . “
The elderly man paused for dramatic effect then continued,
“With that in mind . . . Kari must not only calculate the dimensions of the house but purchase all the materials to build the house and hire workers to construct the house . . . Therefore, based on Kari’s interpretation of math, are you going to hire Kari to build you a house knowing that she might greatly exceed your budget of $250,000?”
“My point is this . . . Absolutes are necessary in mathematics, and they are a type of foundation to a stable society; and without absolutes, the whole of society would fall into disarray where chaos and anarchy prevail.
“Going a step further. . . If absolutes are removed from everyday life and we left everything to the interpretation of each individual based on feelings or personal wishes; then it’s safe to say that all law would cease to exist . . . including the laws of physics, chemistry, biology and math. The entire scientific method would be rubbish.
“But it wouldn’t stop at just those laws . . . traffic laws would be abolished, stealing, rioting, murder, rape, incest . . . all of these things would be left to the interpretation of the individual and their personal feelings.
“Furthermore, if we stop teaching that absolutes exist in everyday life, what would be the need to use correct grammar, spelling or punctuation?
“Thus, pronouns such as ‘He/She’, ‘They/Them’, ‘We/Us’, ‘You or It’ that have always had a proper use in language and conversation would be left to the interpretation of those who are “them“, but not “they“, but “us“, not “he” or “she” or “we” or “him“, “her” and “these“.
“Like mathematics . . . pronouns are absolute and should not be left to the interpretation of an individual.
“Pronouns, along with all parts of speech, should be taught being absolute and anyone who would argue in opposition of such measures should be admonished and corrected.
“I’ll conclude with this… the education system exists to teach absolutes for society to have a solid foundation. Therefore, absolutes do exist and must be taught in our classrooms as such.
“These absolutes cannot be left to the interpretation of each individual person based on feelings or personal objectivity. Nor should that type of narrative be accepted as “proper”.
“Because if the teaching of absolutes is removed from the classroom and each student is allowed to have various interpretations of mathematics or parts of speech, including the proper use of pronouns; then over time we will see order replaced with chaos and a society made up of people unqualified, unequipped and uneducated who can’t communicate clearly.
“I leave you with these final two questions to ponder:
“First, is a future of chaos and disorder what you want for the children being taught in the public schools which you govern?
“And second . . . Are you absolutely certain that future generations won’t suffer with disorder and chaos if you decide to remove the teaching of absolutes and leave the use of grammar and speech up to personal feelings and selfish interpretation of the very children you claim to care so much about?
“In my humble opinion, it’s pathetic to think that removing the teaching of absolutes in our school systems will have a positive impact on the future of ANY society.”
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