It is sexual harassment if we only put mistletoe over the cubes of the women we want to kiss who work in the office?
I’m asking for a friend…
Men and women do not communicate the same. For example here’s a conversation between a long-time married couple that I overheard this past weekend…
Husband: “Would you like a cookie?”
Wife: “I had a bowl of fruit earlier.”
Husband: “Does that mean you want a cookie?”
Wife: “I had a bowl of fruit earlier.”
Husband: “When did you have a bowl of fruit?”
Wife: “It was after I had the cereal.”
Husband: “That was eight hours ago!”
Wife: “What kind of cookies are they?”
Husband: “Oatmeal chocolate chip.”
Wife: “I guess a bowl of fruit would be nice.”
Husband: “So you don’t want a cookie, you want a bowl of fruit?”
Wife: “I didn’t say that. You don’t listen. I SAID a bowl of fruit would be nice.”
Husband: “I am listening…you said a bowl of fruit would be nice…that tells me you don’t want a cookie because that’s what I’m hearing.”
Wife (clearly frustrated): “I didn’t say that. I said a bowl of fruit would be nice.”
Husband: “Okay. A bowl of fruit and I’ll include an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie in case you decide you want one.”
Wife: “Thank you. Was that so difficult?”
Okay…now that same conversation between two men…
First guy: “do you want a cookie?”
Second guy: “Sure, thanks!”
End of conversation!
It’s pathetic how men and women are so different when it comes to communicating.
This may come as a shock, but over the course of my working career I’ve been sexually harassed by both genders…women and men.
Let me begin with the woman who felt it necessary to touch me in a manner that made me really uncomfortable. — She actually confessed to the manager that she had feelings for me and was hoping I would feel the same. She thought touching me in certain ways and at different times would give a subtle hint… — umm…not so much.
A few years before that there was a woman who made it a point to tell our co-workers that she was going to marry me and we were going to have lots of children together….of course this was without my consent or knowledge…heck! I later found out that to top it off, she even went so far as to order a wedding cake and plan out the ceremony she was going to have with me as the groom! . . . . sigh . . . Wasn’t that sweet of her? — let me answer that for ya . . . Nope!
Of course there was also the middle-aged homosexual man who made it a point to conveniently have a cigarette every morning just outside the door that led to my office. I always found it weird why he would
chase follow me and another male co-worker into the office and offer us treats, homemade goodies or give us compliments on our looks and ask us over to dinner. — uhhh…thanks but, I’m into girls.
Since this is a PG rated blog, I’m only sharing the less graphic versions of my adventures in harassment. I could go further into detail, but that’s just a waste of your time and mine.
Believe me when I tell you that I’ve had my fair share of people who have made unwanted sexual advances towards me in the work place; however, every single time it’s happened, I’ve tolerated it for a few weeks before I finally said something to them about how uncomfortable it was. If they didn’t get my hint, I would take the matter up with my supervisors or human resources to put an end to it.
No matter how embarrassing it might be. No matter what it might do to my career. I didn’t want to let it drag on, I didn’t want to make excuses like, “oh well, people are just that way,” and I didn’t tolerate it for the sake of my career.
Some of you might be thinking or saying… “yeah, but you’re a guy. It’s easier for you to stand up and say something.”
Uhhh . . . . NO . IT . IS . NOT!
You have no idea how many times I thought about staying quiet and just coping with the situation hoping it would just blow over. Truth is, since I was a guy, I was afraid that no one would believe me, or worse, that I’d become the joke of the office.
Eventually I realized that if I didn’t speak up, these people who were making me uncomfortable would have power over me for a long time to come, and they would never stop. Worse yet, that I would never have another day where I felt comfortable coming to work or leaving my home.
Don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t easy confronting the person who was making me uncomfortable or going to my supervisor and telling them a co-worker was making me uncomfortable, but I had to do it. I had to suck it up and realize that if I lost my job because the company decided to back a person who made me uncomfortable, then that wasn’t a company I wanted to work for. Not too mention, that if my supervisor didn’t care enough about me to take me seriously and investigate the situation, then that wasn’t a person I wanted to work for either.
That’s why this whole mess of accusers who are coming forward with claims they were harassed 20, 30 or 40 years ago, doesn’t sit well with me. Nor does it sit well with me that people are getting fired over these claims and accusations without due process.
These people (both men and women) are just NOW coming forward with all these accusations of unwanted sexual harassment?
Taking a look back at the events that transpired when I approached my supervisors, I made certain that they investigated the situation and formed a case before taking any actions. They interviewed people who were witnesses, they took the time to gather evidence and conspicuously confronted the accused to form a case before taking it to human resources, handling the matter outright or even taking legal action.
It disappointments me that the accusers today aren’t interested in forming a case against those they accused. Whether it did or did not happen, the accusers just want to be right and want their brand of justice. — Get them fired. Get them out. They hurt me and I want the world to know it! — The motives of these people can be described in one word: REVENGE.
In my past situations I never wanted revenge. I just wanted the people who were making lewd comments to stop so I could be comfortable going to work for 8+ hours a day.
Revenge is not a good thing because it reveals the true side of the human heart. The corruption and hatred, the selfishness and pride, the arrogance, the bitterness, the strife.
It really amazes me how no one seems to be calling out these accusers for waiting for so long. What is their motive? Why now? Why did they wait so long?!?! Instead, they form social media groups and hashtag labels to let others join in the #metoo campaign.
They call it “strength in numbers”…
I call it Pathetic!!
It’s also pathetic how harassmentgate 2017 has ballooned into this horrible mess of pathetic stupidity when none of this should be happening right now because the accusers who are claiming “harassment” should have stood up years ago and put the accused in their place then…not waiting some 20, 30 or 40 years in the future to get their revenge!
Ironically, their revenge is bitter sweet because all of the accused have amassed fortunes over the years, and are living high on the hog. If they get fired from whatever they were doing, so what! They just take their fortunes and run.
Retirement, here they come!
You know, I’m not shocked by it, but in all honesty I find it difficult to understand how the world has become such a horrible place to live. How did we get here?
The world is filled with followers who are flat out pathetically crazy, and more and more cattle decide to wander into the other pasture following the masses down a broad road of destruction.
It’s pathetic they are even considered part of the human race.
Believe me, I know A LOT of people who have doctorates or master’s degrees in a specific field…they’ve spent years working in those fields…but they never learned anything. It’s all huff and fluff with not a shred of substance . . .in layman’s terms: “surface knowledge”. . . and it’s quite pathetic when they attempt to declare their so-called “wisdom” because it turns out to be ignorance and nonsense. So, please take my advice… just shut your pie hole and walk away. Don’t talk. Don’t type. Just walk away.
(just to name a few).
My manager and I were discussing the reasons as to why so many pathetically ignorant people are promoted into management positions in my little vortex of hell, and then we realized that they never seem to leave.
We actually named off close to 30 managers in my little vortex of hell who should be demoted or fired for ignorance and stupidity alone.
Ya…that’s right . . . THIRTY! . . . and quite pathetically we probably could have named off more if we hadn’t been so rudely interrupted by a phone call from one of the managers we had previously named.
These so-called “managers” are very much like a nagging cough or stuffy nose that keeps you awake at night . . . Actually . . .that gives the annoying cough or stuffy nose a bad rap.
I swear my little vortex of hell is cloning or breeding these people in a some secret lab, bringing them into our facility and placing them in management or supervisory roles and then secretly watching how the rest of us react to their stupidity and lack of knowledge.
It’s like we’re lab rats or something.
Yesterday I had this conversation with one of the aforementioned nagging coughs…
Computer Manager: “Sooo, what did you find out about my computer order? Will it be delivered tomorrow?”
Me: “I did find out that the order is still in production and hasn’t left the facility yet. So no, it won’t be delivered tomorrow.”
Computer Manager: “Soooo…I’m not going to get it tomorrow?”
Me: “No, but it looks like it might ship over the weekend and we might see it on Monday or Tuesday of next week.”
Computer Manager: “But that won’t work. I need it delivered tomorrow.”
Me: “I don’t have any control over the vendor or the delivery company. All I know is that it won’t be here tomorrow.”
Computer Manager: “Would you please look again? I need that shipment tomorrow.”
Me: “Sure, I’ll check again, but I’m confident that we’re not getting the delivery tomorrow.”
Me: (after checking status again)…“It’s still in the production stage, so no change. We’re not getting that shipment tomorrow.”
Computer Manager: (in slightly agitated and bewildered tone) “Are you serious?!?! (sighs heavily) I cannot believe that they haven’t shipped my order yet!! What’s the hold up on their end?”
Me: “Again…I don’t know. I don’t work for the vendor, but let me contact the sales rep and see if they can shed some light on this.”
Computer Manager: “Okay. You do that. And tell them I NEED that order delivered tomorrow.”
Me: ” yeeahh…I’ll see what I can find out.”
— — time passes as I’m waiting for an answer from the vendor — —
— — Answer finally comes from the vendor — —
Me: “The vendor sent me an email to let me know that the order is still in production and won’t be delivered tomorrow.”
Computer Manager: “Seriously!!??!! I can’t have that!! Did you tell them I MUST have it delivered tomorrow?”
Me: “Yes. But seeing as the entire order is STILL in production, it can’t be delivered tomorrow.”
Computer Manager: “That’s no good. Give me his number. I’ll call him myself.”
Me: “okay…here’s his number: ###-###-####”
— — time passes while I do other stuff that actually matters instead of waiting for her to contact me again — —
— — unfortunately, she contacts me again — —
Computer Manager: “Okay…the sales rep told me that the order is still in production so it won’t be delivered tomorrow.”
Me: “yep.” (color me surprised)
Computer Manager: “what does the status “in production” even mean? Does that mean it’s on the truck?”
Me: (completely shocked (even though I shouldn’t have been) that question was even asked) “Uuuhhhh…..no.”
Computer Manager: “Well, I need a tracking number so I know where it is, so if it’s not on a truck how do I know what the status is?”
Me: “The vendor will provide the tracking number once the order ships, but since it’s still “IN PRODUCTION” and has NOT shipped yet, there won’t be a tracking number.”
Computer Manager: “The vendor needs to be more specific about the status of my orders. I can’t tell if it’s being shipped, in production or where it is. This is so frustrating!”
Me: “Yes it is.” (but I’m talking about her, not the vendor…fortunately for me, she’s too wrapped up in herself to recognize that)
Computer Manager: “Well, stay on top of this and let me know the status once you have a tracking number.”
Folks, I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried, but this is the stupid and pathetic I have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s frustrating.
Having to be a lab rat in my little vortex of hell is pathetically exhausting.