What to Expect on a Day Without Women…From a Man’s Perspective…

For some reason liberal women think the world will stop revolving without them showing up for work for one day…

 

BAWWWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for that laugh.  I needed that this morning (as he drys the tears of joy from his eyes).

You silly women who bought into the idea that you’re all that and a bag of bovine chips.  You really have no idea how thankful we men are that you didn’t show up for work.

Because a day without women in the work place…

…is the day men get to make decisions without having someone interject their “feelings” about how they don’t agree with the decision that needed to be made. 

…is the day men are able to work in silence.  

…is the day men can talk like men without fear of persecution or harassment.

…is the day we men have more bathrooms to use. 

…is the day men don’t have to listen to some pathetic conversation about a soap opera, the bachelor, a pathetic failed relationship, complaints about how men never listen, stupid telephone conversations and how children won’t behave.

…is the day “bitchy” won’t be used to describe someone.  

…is the day that will go down in history as a day of rejoicing for all men.   

 

It’s pathetic for women to think that they are SOOO important to the work place that not showing up for one day will cause the world to collapse and all men to view them differently. 

 

Advertisements

Toxicity

toxicity

Most mornings it’s a struggle for me to get out of bed, not because I hate my job… no… I actually like what I do, but it’s more along the lines that I loathe the office that I work in.

In yesterday’s post I wrote about my co-worker who for the better part of fifteen years has repeatedly said inappropriate things in the workplace and basically gotten away with it because our pathetic human resources department won’t deal with the issue.

Numerous people have complained.  He’s been written up over and over again.  HR has been contacted and yet…

He’s still here.  

Furthermore, I failed to tell you that he’s also a know-it-all as well as an annoying repeat story teller.  

He prides himself on spouting the stupidest stuff and brags about it over and over again.  

Sadly, what he THINKS he knows is typically regurgitated from online media sources, social networking and other unreliable sources that lace their scripts with opinionated lies and very general information.  Quite sadly, there’s no depth or substance to his pathetic renditions of what he thinks he’s learned on the internets.

AND!!  And!!!  Annnddd…!!!!    (please imagine me shaking my pointy little finger at you while saying, “AND!!  And!!  Annnddd!!)  I should mention that if you do happen to correct him with actual facts and show him the facts to be true, he absolutely refuses to accept those facts as truth and will argue that you’re wrong and he’s right.  

He even goes so far as to call you horrible names trying to intimidate you into backing off your stance and believing what he said was truth.  He will NOT accept the truth unless one of the social internet of things corroborates what you said as factual.      

Oh!  and the issue of him being an annoying repeat story teller, I can honestly tell you that I’ve heard the same stories from him multiple times since I started working here, and I’ve only been here for a year and a half.

And believe me when I tell you . . . his stories are not entertaining.  If the Guinness Book of World’s Records had a category for the most boring and repetitive story teller ever…he would be the all-time champion.  

And of course, there’s his whole tainted selfish opinion of anyone on the earth who does NOT share his opinionated drivel.  These are the people that he will generalize and label, typically referring to them in a thunderously hostile tone of negative name-calling and boastful propagation. 

And he’s not the only one…

There’s a small group who sits on the other side of my wall who constantly complain about work, politics, the internet, insurance, people, government and anything else their pathetic meaningless minds worry about on a given day.

I actually refer to this place as my little block-o-hell because it’s toxic and more negative than the radioactive site at Chernobyl.

I’ve asked for my own office, complained about the negativity to HR, complained to my supervisor about my coworker and the others in my office space, commiserated with co-workers who share in my plight, prayed over the issue for peace…heck, I’ve even written blog posts about how this place is NOT a positive working environment…but it’s all to no avail.

I’m stuck here…

In this block-o-hell…

forever…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . sigh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If it wasn’t for people, I’d actually enjoy this place.

I hope and pray that one day soon I can finally find a work place that’s positive and that I actually enjoy getting up in the morning to go to work.

 

 

Sexual Deviance – Baylor University

Opinion_hate

In my pathetic opinion…

Since Baylor University did nothing to handle sexual assault claims against the football players over the past ten years, their football program should be handed a penalty no less than what Pennsylvania State University suffered in 2012.  

Though the situation is only different in the amount of time that sexual assault claims were swept under the rug by Baylor administrators and coaches (Baylor – past 10 years, PSU – 36 years), it’s a foregone conclusion that human lives have been tragically affected, therefore the NCAA should be resolute in their investigation of Baylor athletics and stiff in their punishment for treating sexual assault claims as a minor infraction.   

Notwithstanding, from this day forward the governing board of NCAA members need to set an extremely high moral standard for all public institutions under their banner.  Also, forthwith, if any program is found during an investigation to have given any preferential treatment to ANY student(s), be it male or female, for sexual misconduct, that program will be subject to grave and exacting punishment.

If the NCAA governing board is not willing to enact such standards, then they are just as guilty as the administrators and coaches who sweep sexual abuse claims under the rug.  

This whole thing is pathetic and extremely disgusting.

(oh…and on a side bar, these twenty and thirty-something teachers getting pregnant by 13 year old boys is just as bad or worse!!)  

    

No Accountability

financial2

A new CEO is hired to lead a large corporation.

On their first day they call the finance team into their private conference room and tell them that they need a report of all funds that are available within the organization and expect them on their desk by the end of the week.

After receiving the information from the finance team the CEO scans through all the numbers and finds every available dollar that the organization has at its disposal.  After adding up all the numbers they find that their new organization has roughly $10 million budgeted across various divisions.

Not concerned that the other divisions have budgeted those funds for specific use, the CEO takes the large total and informs the head of finance to move those funds around so they can hire more people to work directly for for them.

The finance team, being worried that they would get fired for speaking up, decide not to alert the CEO that this is a bad idea and begin moving the money around so the CEO can hire more people for their division; however, finance also doesn’t inform the other divisions that this is happening, letting the other division heads believe that they still have the same budget that they had at the beginning of the fiscal year.

The reason finance doesn’t inform the other division heads is because finance believes they can cover up the financial rearrangement by moving money around later to cover any purchases made by the other divisions.

As the new CEO and having all these newly acquired funds at their disposal, they hire a new Special Assistant and a new Adviser to the CEO.  Both positions pay well over $100,000 with awesome benefits.

The CEO also informs their newly appointed Adviser and Assistant that they have the approval to purchase all the electronic equipment they may or may not need along with hiring administrative assistants for themselves with starting salaries of $80,000 each.  After all, since they work for the Administration of the company, they should hire the best of the best, and everyone knows that the more you pay the more qualified the candidates are.  (hack…hack…cough…cough .  .  .  Sorry, a little pathetic got caught in my throat.)

Consequently, having the finance team move the money around so the CEO could hire more people to make themselves look more pathetic has caused a shortage in funding for other divisions.  However, the division heads, still believing they have the same budgeted money, are sending in requests to purchase items related to projects that they had budgeted for at the beginning of the fiscal year.

Finance, trying desperately to move money around to cover the spending by the other divisions, falls behind rather quickly and in a matter of months has to inform the other divisions that they no longer have the funds and need to put a halt on all spending.  No exceptions!

This leads to the division leaders scratching their heads and asking where all their money went, only to find out from finance that the new CEO had all the funds reassigned to Administration only to hire more staff for their team.

The projects are put on hold.  Customers are angry.  The company looses revenue.  Stock prices plummet.  People lose jobs. 

Welcome to my pathetic world.  

And you wonder why I’m angry and frustrated all the time?

financial1

Noises In the Office

coworkers1

Every so often in my new little cubicle of thought provoking numbness I hear noises.   Some noises are just people around me clearing their throats, sneezing or coughing.   Some noises are people mumbling about their projects or whispering about something that they don’t want others to overhear.  Annnnd some noises are the building itself settling and making creeks and groans and those are distinguishing, but the other day I heard a noise that I couldn’t quite figure out.  

At first it sounded like a buzz in the furnace fixtures, but as I tried to listen for it and figure out where it was coming from the more distant it became.  After a few minutes it stopped, so I just went back to doing my daily tasks.  A few hours later, it was back.  

Now, other than followers who can’t think for themselves, nothing is more aggravating to me than unnecessary noises like a hum, buzz or tick that penetrates my ear canal and forces its way into my brain where it makes a home for itself.  So, when I start to hear these noises, I feel it necessary to find the source and make it stop.  

For example, in my last office the actual walls didn’t have full length studs to support the sheet rock.  What I mean is that the studs didn’t stretch from floor to ceiling, instead they were aluminum frames that were only 6 foot tall, while the sheet rock was 8 feet.  This discrepancy in length created a buffer between the sheet rock, ceiling and frame which caused the walls to vibrate when the central air would kick on.  

The vibration of the walls would cause a buzz that was random and very annoying.  I finally figured out that if I put a block in-between the wall of my cube and the sheet rock, the buzz would cease.  

Problem fixed.

But now my new little spot of disturbed nonsense has a random buzz as well, and I had to find it the other day because it was bothersome and taking away from my focus; so I set out to locate the source and when I found it, I was kind of surprised.  

Since it was so random, it wasn’t easy to locate, but after searching for a couple days I finally found it.

sleeping

Yep, my Co-worker snores. (no joke).

Random noises are pathetic, but co-workers sleeping at their desks are even more pathetic.

– 

 

“The Schrute”

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh

“And now back to your regularly scheduled blogging about all things pathetic”

For those who have been reading my blog for some time, you know that I have a very strange sense of humor, and I’m sure you’re wondering if you’ll ever see that again.  

Well…you’ll be pleased to know that my weird and wacky sense of humor has not gone away, it just took a break for a short time as I used this area of my life as a sounding board of sorts. 

Thank you for being patient as I vented some feelings and frustrations in my recent posts.  You’ve all been very supportive, and I appreciate you all…even though I still think you’re all cattle and followers of too many wrong and horrible things, but that’s a rant for another post at a later date.  As for today, I’d like to get back to sharing stories about all things pathetic. 

Along those lines, I feel that it’s of extremely high importance that I share with you a couple of things that I absolutely refuse to do. 

First, I absolutely refuse to pander to the masses.

If you’ve been reading my blog for any period of time, you should know by now that just because the rest of the herd are all heading in the direction of the slaughter house, it does NOT mean that I have to follow them.   

Second, I absolutely refuse to stand in line for anything other than a movie.  However, IF I choose to stand in line for a movie, it better be the best movie ever made or there will be hell to pay.  How will hell be paid??   I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but just know that eventually there will be hell to pay.  

Third, and most importantly, I absolutely refuse to suck-up to my boss. 

I mention this only because, today, I got a glimpse of my manager’s manager doing this very thing, and he was doing it wrong!   

How … exactly … can a person completely fail at sucking up, you ask?  

Let me attempt to explain.

So, normally on Wednesday’s we have a team meeting and talk about purchases that may have a higher priority than say…buying someone in the herd a new diamond encrusted cell phone cover; but this week has been a bit different because we are inundated with new requests from the pathetically annoying who are trying to get purchases through before the fiscal year comes to a close.  

Without saying more than necessary, I’ll just tell you that it’s a rather daunting time of year for those of us in purchasing and finance.  And unless you actually spend time in the position, you have no idea how exhausting bovine can be when they can’t get their stuff.

It really is pathetic.  

But more on that some other time…so anyway, we normally have our team meeting on Wednesday’s but my direct manager decided to move it up a day and so we met this afternoon.

Just as we were finishing up discussing some topics of great importance, in walks my manager’s manager.  Let’s call him, “Schrute”.  The reason: because he’s the typical Dwight Schrute suck up.

When he speaks, it’s rife with the smell of putrefaction.  For those of you not smart enough to look that word up on Google, it means the process of decay or rotting in a body or other organic matter.

Sadly, he thinks he’s being clever or smart or pulling one over on those of us who actually see through his nonsense, and today was no different. 

But before I get too far ahead of myself let me fill you in on a little minor backstory that happened earlier in the day.

Earlier in the day the CIO walks into my office and asks me about a purchase that was well over $25K.  Before these purchases can be approved there is a minimum of three quotes/bids that need to be made from vendors.  I submitted the quotes/bids and added them to the form where I requested the funds be approved for purchasing said items. 

The CIO…who’s pretty high up in the company…asked me about the order and after detailing out everything I did verbally and then in email form for paper trail reasons, the CIO stated that he would approve it as soon as he got back to his desk.  He also stated that since it was end of fiscal year, if there were any other orders that needed to be pushed through quickly, he would be happy to approve them so we didn’t end up sitting on things that needed to be paid for out of this fiscal year’s budget.  Which was pretty swell of the guy, since he didn’t have to say that, but our CIO is actually a pretty great guy with a really great sense of humor.  In other words, he’s about as laid back as you can get and a really awesome guy to work for. 

Let’s skip ahead to our team meeting… 

As we were finishing up the meeting, “Schrute” (a.k.a. :The Butt-Kisser”) walks into the conference room and says…  “Hey.  Ummm….sooooo….yeeeaaahhhh….that large order…?”  

It was at this point that my teammates and I just looked at one another and shrugged because none of us knew what the hell he was talking about. 

We have “large orders” about twice a day, so he really needed to be more specific.  Then, noticing that we didn’t have a clue about what he was talking about, “Schrute” blurts out…“You know..those signature pads!?”

Right then my manager chimes in and asks if there was a problem to which “Schrute” replied, “Well…I was talking with the CIO and he wanted me to get some clarification about why we needed so many of them.  I mean, he just wants me to be safe here…and not make mistakes like what we did a few weeks…uh…months ago when we ordered something…a-a-and…umm…well, we’re just a little gun shy right now.” 

As I glanced at each of my teammates, this was the look on their faces:

simon-cowel-glazed-look

Okay…

Many of you might be thinking that the CIO might have gone to “Schrute” and asked him to get some clarification on this purchase, but remember, the CIO had earlier walked into my office and talked with me directly about it.  Also, the CIO and I go way back.  I’ve known this guy for over seven years!!   SEVEN YEARS!!!  and I’ve never known him to use his underlings to check up on other underlings.  If the CIO has a concern, he goes to the source, so obviously I knew that “Schrute” was just trying to be . . . well . . .  a Schrute.

My manager did his best to let “Schrute” know that we took care of it, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.  For some reason “Schrute” just didn’t want to hear anything other than what he wanted to hear, and I’m still trying to figure out what that was.  

And if you’re wondering…by the time we all got back to our desks, the CIO had approved the purchase.

Now do you see how miserably Schrute failed at being a suckup?  

yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh…I’m gonna need him to not do that anymore.

Being a Schrute is pathetic.  

work with