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I was going to post a humorous little article about Skittles and how the manufacturer, Mars, Inc., is being sued for using a toxin in the candy that is known to alter DNA; and since Skittles has the slogan “rainbow of fruit flavors,” my post was going to humorously lay claim that the DNA altering toxin might very well be responsible for the upswing in homosexuality and transgenderism. . . buuuuuuut, I decided not to post that article.
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A couple of years ago I read an article about a guy who attempted to carry a large rock while swimming across a lake.
As the story goes, this man and the group he was with, had been sitting around a campfire while drinking some beverages of choice that contained a few drops of alcohol, and due to his lack of better judgement, he casually decided that he was going to swim across the lake whilst holding a large rock.
Now, with alcohol involved it should be no surprise that this story will take a horrible turn; because, after all, nothing good ever happens when alcohol is involved.
So, with both arms and hands wrapped around the large piece of stone, he plunged into the lake with reckless abandon.
As I recall the story, the man was actually doing quite well and kicked his way some distance from the shore where his other pathetically drunk “friends” were standing and cheering on his ignorantly, misguided decision.
However, according to a pathetic eyewitness, at some point the cheering turned into major concern when the man carrying the rock while swimming across the lake just disappeared under the water, and quote: “never resurfaced”.
Imagine that!
Consequently, the man who decided to swim across the lake while carrying a large rock, also succumbed to the laws of gravity.
Now, a pathetically NORMAL person might ask, “why didn’t he just let go of the rock and float back to shore?” or “why didn’t his “friends” try to talk him out of it or when seeing him in trouble, jump in a try to save him?”
Both are great questions for a person of sane rationale, but let’s not forget that when certain parts of the herd become inebriated, the cells in their brain that would typically generate common sense, shut down and rationale is replaced with stupidity and ignorance; and wise decisions are thrown out the proverbial window, hence the reason that —
Nothing good ever happens when alcoholic beverages are involved.
If that story wasn’t enough to convince you, try searching google for the phrase “drunk man” and then sort by “news” reports and see how many results come up. (I searched and got back 25 MILLION results. Maybe that will help shove your mental block into a tree-chipper.)
So this brings me to my topic of the day…
For instance, cattle are warned repeatedly NOT to do something because if they do it, there are consequences.
Those warnings are for the safety and well-being of everyone, but there’s always some pathetic whack-a-doodle who will ignore the warnings and do the thing they are told not to, regardless of the consequences.
Some of them might get away with testing fate for a while, but eventually they get found out by a little thing called: “repercussions” and that typically will bring their antics to an abrupt halt.
And let’s not forget the parents of these little fracklings.
I find it ironic how many parents of these undivided embryos will utter the immortal words: “My child is such a wonderful child and would never do anything to hurt anyone.”
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Well, I got news for those pathetic parents…there are a lot of prisons, morgues and cemeteries filled with either the victims of those “wonderful” kids; or those “wonderful” kids are taking up residence in those places.
It’s just crazy that so many parents are naive enough to think they have the most thoughtful, angelic, obedient children.
Consequently, it’s normally through some tragic event that those parents, and the world, find out just how corrupt and horrible the offspring of their pathetic loins actually is.
Not to mention that every parent should consider that when they were young, they did stupid stuff too. In other words…the kids are a chip off the ‘ol block and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (insert snarky smile here)
What I’m saying is this….
The idiot gene is passed along from generation to generation – every once in a great while it skips a generation for good measure – but truthfully speaking, it’s generation after generation that inherit the stupidity gene because when one idiot sires another idiot, that idiot will eventually sire another idiot, who sires another idiot and so on…and so on…and so on.
That chain of events continues until we’re left with what we have today. . . a pasture filled with cattle where 99.9% of them are infected with what I like to call: mad cow disease.
Therefore, it should come as no surprise to anyone as to why there is a large contingent in the herd that make up the “dumber than stupid” segment in the pasture. – It’s genetics.
And what’s even more disappointing is that some of those cattle end up getting elected and we’re forced to suffer under a government filled with imbecilic, halfwit, blockheads…but I digress.
It’s pathetic how many pathetically stupid are figuring out how to procreate, but what’s even more pathetic is that humans haven’t figured out how to stop it from happening.
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If there is any silver lining in this COVID-19 environment, it’s the recognition of the importance of communication. At a time when relaying information is vital to the success of fighting a crippling and deadly disease, it’s important that everybody is able to get information in a way they can understand.
However, getting information conveyed to everyone in our community hasn’t always been easy. For one group, especially, it’s been a struggle because not every language has been translated into Closed Captioning.
That is . . . until now.
Today, in a 4 to 3 vote by the local city council of St. Elsewhere, Nebraska, a new era is dawning. The council has approved funding for a new Closed Captioning software that will be more inclusive to all languages.
“We are delighted and so proud of our community leaders who have shown that they support every American by allowing us to be the first to fund this new software that will provide new and forward thinking communication across our great city,” said June Dive, Mayor of St. Elsewhere. “We know that the spread of information is vital in combating the ongoing global pandemic, and being able to communicate with people of all languages is our number one goal.”
The new software will be installed at the St. Elsewhere communication building and should be running on closed captioning by the end of this month. Technical officials have said that the new software will contain phrases such as, “Hey homie!”, “can ya dig?”, and “cut me no slack.” to help deliver information to those who speak Jive.
“We want to make sure everybody is able to get the message; not just English speaking or people who have hearing problems,” the Mayor said, “Personally, it’s a sign of being treated with dignity and respect, and that people in the Jive speaking community are important.”
The service will cost $100,000 dollars for installation and have a running cost of $10,000 per month for maintenance and upkeep. It’s a cost some city leaders didn’t think was necessary.
“I voted against this measure because I just don’t hear Jive Talkin’ as often as we did in the 1970’s, so the overall expenditure seems a bit high,” said councilwoman Eve Sanders.
Councilman, Jake Wallabee disagreed… “There are a lot of folks that are Jive Talkin’ in our community, and we felt we were undeserving them. We wanted to make sure we were serving everyone in the community as well as we can. That includes Jive talkin’ people.”
Some in the Jive Talkin’ community were also excited for the new Closed Captioning software. Ditty Mac, a Jive Talkin’ Mo’fo’ said, “We is real. Dis new gig be tha thang all bro’s be hearin’…Shiiiiiit.”
Officials say the captioning is really accurate, but they will have to teach it some current vocabulary and hope it translates well enough for everyone in the community to understand.
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