Lab Rat

My manager and I were discussing the reasons as to why so many pathetically ignorant people are promoted into management positions in my little vortex of hell, and then we realized that they never seem to leave.  

We actually named off close to 30 managers in my little vortex of hell who should be demoted or fired for ignorance and stupidity alone.  

Ya…that’s right . . . THIRTY! . . . and quite pathetically we probably could have named off more if we hadn’t been so rudely interrupted by a phone call from one of the managers we had previously named.

These so-called “managers” are very much like a nagging cough or stuffy nose that keeps you awake at night . . . Actually . . .that gives the annoying cough or stuffy nose a bad rap.  

I swear my little vortex of hell is cloning or breeding these people in a some secret lab, bringing them into our facility and placing them in management or supervisory roles and then secretly watching how the rest of us react to their stupidity and lack of knowledge.  

It’s like we’re lab rats or something.  

Anyhoo…

Yesterday I had this conversation with one of the aforementioned nagging coughs…

++++++++++++

Computer Manager: “Sooo, what did you find out about my computer order?  Will it be delivered tomorrow?”   

Me:  “I did find out that the order is still in production and hasn’t left the facility yet.  So no, it won’t be delivered tomorrow.” 

Computer Manager:  “Soooo…I’m not going to get it tomorrow?”

Me:  “No, but it looks like it might ship over the weekend and we might see it on Monday or Tuesday of next week.” 

Computer Manager:  “But that won’t work.  I need it delivered tomorrow.” 

Me:  “I don’t have any control over the vendor or the delivery company.  All I know is that it won’t be here tomorrow.” 

Computer Manager:  “Would you please look again?  I need that shipment tomorrow.”  

Me:  “Sure, I’ll check again, but I’m confident that we’re not getting the delivery tomorrow.” 

Me: (after checking status again)…“It’s still in the production stage, so no change.  We’re not getting that shipment tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager: (in slightly agitated and bewildered tone) “Are you serious?!?!  (sighs heavily) I cannot believe that they haven’t shipped my order yet!!  What’s the hold up on their end?”  

Me:  “Again…I don’t know.  I don’t work for the vendor, but let me contact the sales rep and see if they can shed some light on this.”

Computer Manager:  “Okay.  You do that.  And tell them I NEED that order delivered tomorrow.”  

Me:  ” yeeahh…I’ll see what I can find out.”

– 

— — time passes as I’m waiting for an answer from the vendor — — 

— — Answer finally comes from the vendor — —

Me:  “The vendor sent me an email to let me know that the order is still in production and won’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager:  “Seriously!!??!!  I can’t have that!!  Did you tell them I MUST have it delivered tomorrow?”  

Me:  “Yes.  But seeing as the entire order is STILL in production, it can’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager:  “That’s no good.  Give me his number.  I’ll call him myself.”  

Me:  “okay…here’s his number:  ###-###-####”  

— — time passes while I do other stuff that actually matters instead of waiting for her to contact me again — —

— — unfortunately, she contacts me again — —

Computer Manager:  “Okay…the sales rep told me that the order is still in production so it won’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Me:  “yep.”  (color me surprised)

Computer Manager:  “what does the status “in production” even mean?  Does that mean it’s on the truck?”  

Me: (completely shocked (even though I shouldn’t have been) that question was even asked)  “Uuuhhhh…..no.”  

Computer Manager:  “Well, I need a tracking number so I know where it is, so if it’s not on a truck how do I know what the status is?”

Me:  “The vendor will provide the tracking number once the order ships, but since it’s still “IN PRODUCTION” and has NOT shipped yet, there won’t be a tracking number.”

Computer Manager:  “The vendor needs to be more specific about the status of my orders.  I can’t tell if it’s being shipped, in production or where it is.  This is so frustrating!” 

Me:  “Yes it is.”  (but I’m talking about her, not the vendor…fortunately for me, she’s too wrapped up in herself to recognize that)

Computer Manager:  “Well, stay on top of this and let me know the status once you have a tracking number.”  

Me:  “okay”

++++++++++++++

Folks, I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried, but this is the stupid and pathetic I have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s frustrating. 

Having to be a lab rat in my little vortex of hell is pathetically exhausting.    

 

Standing my ground…Dealing with inept co-workers

I work on a team of three people.  We had four, but one quit late last year because he was tired of people not doing their work.  

Well…let me rephrase that…

He quit because after almost ten full years with the company he grew tired of having to bail out ONE specific person who refused to complete their assigned work.  

Here’s the poop, each of us has specific responsibilities that we’re assigned to.  Responsibilities that aren’t very difficult.  Assigned by our supervisor.  That should be completed in a specific amount of time. 

Matter of fact…this is probably the easiest job I’ve ever had.  Unfortunately, for a specific someone on my team…they tend to make it more difficult, and for some strange reason that person can’t seem to understand the concept of getting the work done on time. . . or at all.   

For example, when a new request comes in that is assigned to him, he lets it sit in his queue for months.

There have been times where he will let work sit in his queue for up to a year or longer.  

Never acknowledging the request was assigned to him.  

Never updating the request with a status of where he’s at in the process of completing the work.  

Never contacting the person who made the request to let them know if there’s a delay or a problem or when the task will be completed.

Oh, one might think that he’s probably burned out and doesn’t want to do this specific job anymore, but if that were the case, he’d do more to make that evident . . .

which he doesn’t . . .

So I don’t believe that being burned out is the problem.

Two years ago when I first started this job, I began hearing from a lot of people about how bad this co-worker of mine has been over the years.  People were sharing their stories of failed orders, lack of accountability, communication, laziness, slacking and just down right unacceptable behavior.

I asked why they haven’t complained about him, but I always received the same reply…“we have!!  but no one takes our complaints seriously!  He’s been like this for over ten years!!”

Many of you reading this might be asking yourself if management knows about this person’s ineptitude?  

Incredibly, yes they do.  

Management has tried to move him to another team or even fire him; but since the human resources team here at my little pathetic basket of hell is afraid to do their jobs, he remains employed.

And of course, he always has an excuse for delaying the work or never completing the work.  

His reasons are endless, but after only a couple years of being his co-worker I’ve managed to figure out the two main causes of why he’s so inept:

  1. He spends practically 6 hours a day on Facebook and other social-networking sites.  
  2. Years ago he was trained by a lazy, old man who constantly repeated the phrase: “don’t get it done too quickly, or they’ll always expect it.” 

Neither of these are conducive for providing proper customer service or getting your work done in a decent duration of time.

That brings us to the here and now.

After a nice, long weekend I came in to work, opened my email and found an email from upper management who requested a status on something that was submitted over a month ago. A simple request to purchase something that would take maybe a couple hours to complete.  Sadly, after a month of waiting the purchase has not been made and the staff who requested it has not been able to do their job. 

Interestingly the email was addressed to our entire team and not just to the inept co-worker who won’t do his job and since the email was sent to our team, I could easily take care of the situation and complete the work . . .

But what does my co-worker learn if I do that?  

Answer: he learns that his slacking off doesn’t have consequences and someone else will always bail him out when the pressure mounts.

Therefore, I’m not doing his work.   

If he plans on being lazy, if he refuses to complete the work assigned to him in a decent manner of time; then he also needs to suffer the consequences.  He needs to learn that his ineptitude won’t be accepted by his co-workers.

And that’s exactly what I said when I confronted my supervisor about the issue this morning.  

I refuse to bail him out.  

It’s not going to happen this time.  It’s not going to happen in the future.  He must take responsibility for his actions, or in this case, his lack of actions.

I’m tired of working with inept co-workers.  

This workplace is really pathetic.  

 

One Nation…

On April 1, 2017 the United States of America took drastic measures to fix their illegal immigration problem.  

This morning Donald Trump signed into law the “New World Order Act” that will allow the United States of America to be the first nation in the world to abolish their borders and recognize every human on Earth as a citizen of the United States of America whether they like it or not.  

By overwhelming congressional support the measure passed unanimously in both the House and Senate, with Hawaiian Senator, Mazie Hirono, being the only Senator to abstain because, like much of the world, she was overly consumed with a streaming video of a pregnant giraffe.  

When asked about abstaining on a measure that would likely piss off every country around the world, Senator Hirono said, “I don’t care about borders!  But I do care about expectant mothers, therefore, I believe I speak for all the birthing mothers of the world when I say, ‘April…we know what you’re going through…labor is difficult, but hang in there, girl!'”

The abrupt passing and signing of this measure into law now means that, according to the USA, sovereign countries no longer exist and every nation around the world has now become a single state within the USA.  

This also means that every single person in the world is now subject to the laws of the United States as well as all governmental oversight.  

Education, Healthcare, Welfare, Childcare, Social Security. . .all of which will now be monitored on a global scale out of Washington D.C.  

“Every person in the world will now be monitored by the Departments of Education, HHS, Homeland security, the CIA, FBI and also taxed by the IRS,” said out going White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Katie Walsh.  

While discussing her up coming vacation she also added, “and we feel this measure will provide an avenue for citizens everywhere to freely shop, travel, play, frolic, skip and hula-hoop anywhere around the world without having to worry about customs or carrying those crappy passports.”   

House Democratic minority leader, Nancy Pelosi, had this to say; “Today, the people of the world have a chance to understand what it’s like to be an American citizen. We’re now one. . .big. . .happy. . .family!!” 

However, many leaders around the world didn’t share the same opinions.  

In response to the bill passed by the United States the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov, issued this statement on behalf of his country,

“We, the Russian Federation, feel it necessary to inform the world that because of these measures taken by the United States of America We, the Russian Federation, have decided to abolish our borders and consume every nation as a part of Russian pride.  As of this very second, all the nations of the world, including the USA and all its territories, are hereby a part of the People’s Republic of the Russian Empire.  

Ironically and strangely enough, within minutes of Donald Trump signing the New World Order Act into law countries around the world began to follow suit.  All passing similar measures that removed their borders and declared every person around the world a new citizen of their very own country.  

It should be mentioned, however, that for various reasons Germany, France, Japan and Switzerland have all chosen not to make any decisions on their borders until taking time to discuss the issue in length.  

When asked whether or not he considered these other nations as a threat, POTUS Donald Trump said, “We won’t back down. We will fight and we will win, thank you!

Does my hair look okay?  No…seriously, does my hair look okay?… no?  yes?  thumbs up?  thumbs down? ….anybody? … my hair? . . . does it look good?  … … … looks good?

Okay.  Thank you.”

  

 

  –

 

What to Expect on a Day Without Women…From a Man’s Perspective…

For some reason liberal women think the world will stop revolving without them showing up for work for one day…

 

BAWWWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for that laugh.  I needed that this morning (as he drys the tears of joy from his eyes).

You silly women who bought into the idea that you’re all that and a bag of bovine chips.  You really have no idea how thankful we men are that you didn’t show up for work.

Because a day without women in the work place…

…is the day men get to make decisions without having someone interject their “feelings” about how they don’t agree with the decision that needed to be made. 

…is the day men are able to work in silence.  

…is the day men can talk like men without fear of persecution or harassment.

…is the day we men have more bathrooms to use. 

…is the day men don’t have to listen to some pathetic conversation about a soap opera, the bachelor, a pathetic failed relationship, complaints about how men never listen, stupid telephone conversations and how children won’t behave.

…is the day “bitchy” won’t be used to describe someone.  

…is the day that will go down in history as a day of rejoicing for all men.   

 

It’s pathetic for women to think that they are SOOO important to the work place that not showing up for one day will cause the world to collapse and all men to view them differently. 

 

Dunderheads

A conversation took place yesterday in an office across from my desk where one of the participants stated:  

“I’m going to have to take a week’s vacation so I can cool down enough not to come across the table at those who are making the decisions in this place.”

Okay….

it wasn’t that funny…

But I found it comical considering that our office is currently filled with dunderheads in management who couldn’t manage their way out of a corn maze cut in a straight line.

One such management decision was to consolidate all the information technology teams into one big team that would eventually save money; however, no one thought about putting together a cost allocation of how much money would actually be spent or saved if the consolidation went forward.

Now, just to be clear for those of you not in the know, cost allocation is the process of identifying, aggregating, and assigning costs to cost objects.  A cost object is any activity or item for which you want to separately measure costs.  Examples of cost objects are a product, a research project, a customer, a sales region, and a department.

Based on that definition of cost allocation, the upper dunderheads of our company should have assigned a cost to the people, the equipment and the man hours it would take for human resources to reassign locations, roles and job titles for each and every employee.  

Also included in that cost allocation should have been a set time frame for how many days, weeks, months or years it would take for all the listed resources to be moved and consolidated; along with a dollar amount associated per work hour to train the employees and to update, rename and/or reassign the equipment that is being transferred between agencies or divisions.

But, to my knowledge, none of that was ever completed.  Instead, the dunderheads that be, made the decision to move forward with the consolidation and then had the nerve to tell people that they were saving money.

Quizzically, the most prestigious dunderhead has even tried to paint a pretty picture for the general public by stating to the press that this consolidation is going to save five million dollars over the next five years.  

Thaaaaaat seems like a large dollar figure, but in light of the fact that our single agency alone spends over five million in less than three months, five million dollars in five years is like standing in front of a thousand acre corn field, grabbing an ear off a stalk, raising it above your head and declaring you saved one ear and thus ended hunger for all mankind.

. . . again . . . maaaybe not as funny as I thought…

Okay…so there have been other decisions as well that many of the dunderheads have made which contribute to the scratching of heads around here, such as…

  • Changing the title of a team without telling the specific team members the title changed.  
  • Changing accounting numbers for billing purposes, but not telling those who use the accounting numbers that they changed.
  • Putting a hold on all travel and training, but then finding out in the monthly corporate letter that the upper dunderheads traveled to training seminars in July, August, September, October, November and December.  — Ooo…and they posted pictures for all of us little people to see.  
  • Being told in a mass email that there is a hold on all non-essential purchases, and then receiving a request (I work in purchasing) to buy a television for one of the upper dunderheads because they personally don’t want to use a conference room.  

And those are just off the top of my head.

The decisions that have been made in the past year along with the actions of the upper dunderheads have caused me to question whether they have any idea how pathetic they are viewed by the rest of us who work here.  

It’s disappointing that no one has the courage to stand up to these people and to hold them accountable.

Maybe my co-worker who needs a vacation will muster the courage to stand up to them? 

Yeah…no.

It’s pathetic that I don’t see that happening.

 

 

Obsessed With Sex-u-al-i-tee

Udders

What is wrong with you sick people that you feel the need to know so many details about every person’s life?  Especially the whole issue of a person’s sexual preference?

I’ll tell you why…

Because YOU are obsessed with sex!

Oh. . .and on the topic of sexual preference. . . if a person is born with a certain sexual preference, why the hell can’t you tell just by looking at them?  Shouldn’t you know without having to ask???  Why exactly do you even question it?  

Oh, wait!  That’s right!  It’s similar to all of you who were born a dumbass.  

No one can tell you’re a dumbass just by looking at you, instead people have to ask you if you’re a dumbass.  

Typically, you all try to cover it up, but eventually the truth is revealed as soon as you open your mouth.  

Soooo, going back to my initial question…why is it so important for you to know which way someone swings their ding-a-ling?  

Does knowing that someone is a pervert make you feel more human?  Does it make you feel more adequate that you’re not the only pervert in town?  

With the way society has become so sexually obsessed I’m not surprised that companies don’t require sexual preference on a résumé. 

Work History…

Skills…

Education…

Sexual Preference!  — Ah!!  The perfect candidate!

You cattle need to get over the sexual obsession already.  After all, it’s just a means of creating humans. 

But leave it to humans to make it into something perverted, addictive and disgusting! 

Bravo humanity.  

Brav-o!  (insert slow, pathetic golf clap here)

Disappointed4

Pathetic cattle disgust me.

Persecution

christian-persecution

Every morning I happen to read numerous headlines of media bias and pathetic rhetoric that assists me in starting my day with the understanding that the world has fallen off the deep end into a very shallow grave.  

This morning was no different.

Except that I happened upon the above image and became intrigued at the headline. . . or . . .  byline. . . or . . . line of text under the picture. . . or . . .whatever it’s called.   

Anywhoo! . . . my intrigue wasn’t that the line of text mentions the persecution of Christians or that said persecution of Christians is growing across the globe.  

You would think that would be something I would be interested in reading about since I am a follower of the LORD Jesus, but no. . . that wasn’t what intrigued me.  

Instead, it was the first two words that are written in all caps.  

What’s so “startling” about the report that persecution of Christians is growing across the globe?  

Christians will be persecuted for following the LORD Jesus because Jesus told His disciples that they would be persecuted because Jesus was persecuted first, and no one is above their master.  Therefore, since Jesus is the master and was persecuted by those in the world who didn’t believe in Him or trust Him while He was here, those who are true followers of Him will be persecuted as well.

Why? 

Because we are an example of the Light that shines in the darkness and exposes the deeds of humanity for what they are.  Evil.  And Humanity hates the light for that very reason.  

So, because the world hates the Light because it exposes their deeds as evil, the world wants to snuff out the light so they don’t have to be held accountable and feel remorse, sorrow, guilt or shame for their actions and words.

AND…as more and more people turn their lives over to the LORD Jesus and turn away from the life of lawlessness and sin that enslaved them, we should not be startled that a growing number of people are being persecuted for being Christians.

Of course, this also proves that the bible is accurate, yet again, because it foretold of how Christians would be persecuted for the sake of Jesus.

“Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” – 2 Timothy 3:12

“For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;  we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.  For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.” – 2 Cor 4:6-12

“Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also.”

– John 15:20

 

Therefore, I’m not startled about the growing persecution of Christians around the world.  I’m actually praising God for it.