Carbon Monoxide Detectors + Garage Door Openers

Every automatic garage door opener should have carbon monoxide detectors built in which would automatically raise the door if the carbon monoxide levels reach a certain level. 

They should also have weight sensors that sense the weight of the garage door within a specific range that will trigger a very loud and annoying audible alarm if it senses that the door did not open automatically when those carbon monoxide levels have reached a critical state. 

The alarm would have to be manually shut off within 2 minutes by pressing the door opener button either on the wall or the handheld remote three times; and if that doesn’t happen, the device would automatically send an emergency call to 911 that the levels are extremely high and someone is in danger.

Not a fool proof idea…but it’s pathetic someone hasn’t thought of this before now. 




14 Days to Broke: Playing the Lottery

Say you’re a happy-go-lucky person with $1,000 burning a hole in your pocket, and you decide to “invest” this money in lottery tickets, and keep on reinvesting the proceeds of your bets to buy even more lottery tickets.  
How long do you think you could keep this game rolling?

Let’s play:

If you buy $1,000 worth of $1 lottery tickets on Day 1, then statistically speaking, the average lottery payout of 60% means you’ll have $600 left to spend on Day 2.

Spend that $600 on Day 2, and by Day 3, you’re down to $360.

Keep going, and by Day 14, you will have (on average) just $0.78 left jingling in your pocket.

In other words, two weeks of playing the lottery has left you too broke to afford a single lottery ticket. You’ve gambled away nearly every cent you started with.

It’s no wonder Bloomberg calls it the “Sucker Index.”

Food for Thought

Does a lumberjack keep swinging an ax at a tree that he’s already chopped down?  

Does a carpenter keep hammering a nail that’s he’s already driven into a board?  

If the answer to both questions is “No”, then shouldn’t you stop gnawing on the same past experiences that cause pain and disappointment and seek the things that can bring a brighter future to your otherwise pathetic life? 



An EXTREMELY Radical Way to Fix the College Football Playoff That’s Still Broken

Back in October 2016 I posted an article that laid out my plans for fixing College Football’s broken mess of stupidity — The college football “playoff”

If you’d like to read it, click this link –>  College Football is Broken.

Today, we see that the mess that is labeled “College Football ‘Playoff'” hasn’t changed.  It still remains a bungled, bogus joke that is touted by sport’s analysts as, “the best system we can think of.

The best system they can think of?  — I find that difficult to believe because every other level of college football has a playoff consisting of more than 8 teams.

Even high school and peewee football leagues have a system where the teams that finished first or second in their division are rewarded with the opportunity to continue playing for a coveted, albeit pathetic, championship.

HOWEVER . . . this is not the way things are done in the College Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS).

Instead, the FBS uses a bias-filled ranking system where a group of pathetic cattle are appointed to a committee where they argue their opinions about who they favor to be the four pathetically top-rated teams in the college football world.

This pathetically biased group of individuals (who many believe can never be swayed or bought. . .yeeeah…right! (insert eye-roll here)) convene as a committee of opinionated cattle to begin their deliberations sometime in late October or early November. 

Then . . . week after week this overly opinionated group of pathetically-esteemed cattle proceed to release a ranking of their magisterial top-25 until they finally release their overly-anticipated “final ranking” which seems to satisfy the pathetic morons of the college football world into believing the top four teams the committee selected are actually the top four teams in all of college football.

Furthermore, along with each weekly release of the rankings, the college football world is fortunate enough to hear the pathetic rationale from a chairperson of the CFP committee who sits on national television answering zany questions from sports media personalities who truly believe in their pathetic little minds that this method of pathetic madness is really the BEST way to crown a “TRUE” national champion in the College Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS).

Additionally, the members of the pathetic CFP committee continuously state that they are all about rewarding or penalizing teams for how they perform on the field during those coveted last four or five weeks of the regular season; sadly, the 2017 college football season was proof that their confessions hold zero truth.

The reason…

Because the committee decided to place a team among the top four teams in college football even though that team: 

1. Did NOT play in their conference championship game.

2. Did NOT win their division in their respective conference. 

3. Did NOT finish higher than third in their respective conference.

4. LOST the FINAL game of the regular season.  

That’s correct . . . a team that was supposed to be penalized for losing in the last four to five weeks of the regular season and finished THIRD overall in their respective conference was selected as one of the FOUR  —  OVERALL  —   BEST   —  TEAMS  in the FBS and allowed to play for a synthetic national championship. (Which they won and get to hold over the rest of the college football world)

Yet, the team that beat them during the regular season and finished second overall in that conference, first in their division and played in the Conference Championship game was left to wonder, “how the hell did we get left out?”

Consequently, the pathetic intelligence that makes up the college football decision making have somehow convinced not only themselves, but the rest of the pathetic herd, that the format they came up with to choose a “true” national champion is the “best” system they can come up with and no one outside of their circle of confusion and mindless stupidity could ever come up with a better system that would keep the bowl games intact and also allow for a playoff.

Well!  I have news for these pathetic ignorant intellectuals . . . I have a better plan, and here it is. . .

Bowl Tiers, Conferences & The Regular Season…

Before each season begins every bowl game would be assigned to a specific tier based on specific criteria. (i.e., 1) Amount of dollar payout to participating teams, 2) Average ticket sales and attendance in previous years, 3) Previous conference affiliations, 4) Location … and so on and so forth.)

(For example: Here’s how it might work —  

Tier 1 Bowl Games would be those that have the overall highest payout to competing teams along with highest average attendance/ticket sales in previous years, and/or a previous affiliation with upper-level conferences, etc…

Tier 2 Bowl Games – second highest payout, average attendance/ticket sales, previous affiliation with upper to mid-level conferences;

Tier 3 Bowl Games – third highest payout…and so on.)

** Only allow 100 total teams in Division 1 and have TEN (10) total conferences where each conference is allowed a maximum of TEN (10) teams each with NO DIVISIONS.  — No Exceptions!!  

Teams will only play 11 games per regular season – Every team will play a nine (9) game conference schedule along with two (2) non-conference games that must be against another FBS conference opponent.

Penalize FBS teams that schedule FCS or D-2 schools for non-conference games by shrinking the revenue shared from bowl and conference payouts.

The college football season will begin on the third weekend of August and no later than the first weekend in September.

All regular season games will end ON or BEFORE Thanksgiving weekend. 

After the regular season is over, the top two teams in the Conference will play in the Championship game. 

All Conference championships will be played the weekend of Thanksgiving or the First weekend in December.  NO EXCEPTIONS!! 

ALGORITHMS — Beginning with week one and continuing throughout the regular season have a group of mathematicians and computer science wizards work together to formulate algorithms that factor in specific calculations for game variables such as, but not limited to. . . strength of schedule, strength of conference, home wins, away wins, victory over rivals, points scored, points allowed, weather conditions, loss of players to injury, turnover margin, yards allowed, yards gained, points scored, points allowed, and so on…


The Playoff Selection…

16 team playoff.  (Ten (10) conference champions and Six (6) at-large) 


#2 –  ALGORITHMS — The results of algorithms used for specific game variables during the regular season will be used for seeding conference champions and at-large playoff teams.

#3 –  SEEDING CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS — All conference champions would automatically be seeded 1 – 10 using the computer algorithms mentioned above.  (Again….NO SELECTION COMMITTEE!)

#4 – SEEDING AT-LARGE TEAMSThe teams who played in and lost their conference championship game. . . and ONLY the teams who played in and lost their conference championship game . . . would then be seeded 11 – 20 using the same computer algorithms stated above and seeds 11 – 16 would be selected as At-Large teams for the playoffs while teams seeded 17 – 20 would be selected to a tier 1 bowl game.  (Once again…NO SELECTION COMMITTEE!)

#5PAIRINGS — Conference Champions who are seeded 1 – 10 respectively would be matched against lower seeded teams with the top six seeds being seeded against the lower seeded at-Large teams.  (for example: Seed 1 vs. Seed 16,  Seed 2 vs. Seed 15 and so on…).

#6HOME FIELD & VISITING TEAMS — Conference champions seeded 1 – 10 would get to play on their home field while lower seeded teams would have to travel to the higher seeded locations.  Home Field advantage would be a “perk” for teams that won their respective conferences outright and finished with a higher seeding based on the computer algorithms.  

**All playoff games through the Semifinal games would give home field advantage to the higher seeded teams.

#7WEEKLY CONSECUTIVE PLAY — Every round leading up to the championship game would be played in consecutive weeks through the month of December with the championship game being played at a Tier 1 neutral-site bowl game two weeks after the conclusion of the semi-final games.

**Note: a variation to this format could be that the semi-final game and the championship game be played on the same neutral site, Tier 1 bowl.


The Remaining Bowl Eligible Teams…


Bowl Selections

Tier 1 bowls (highest payout) would select the first matchup —  The selection of choices would be limited to the remaining teams who lost their conference championships and were seeded 17 – 25 using the aforementioned algorithms to seed the playoff teams.  The teams would be the remaining teams not selected for the 16 team playoff.  

Tier 1 bowls could also choose from teams that finished the season with one or two losses, did not manage to make their respective conference championship games, but finished with no more than two loses during the regular season.  If there aren’t enough teams to fill those spots, teams with three losses would be selected.  

THE REMAINING BOWL TIERS — Once Tier 1 bowl selections are complete, Tier 2 bowls would be able to make their selections followed by the remaining Tiers (3, 4, 5, 6…etc…).  All bowls would select from Bowl eligible teams (6+ wins) until all bowl slots have been filled.

If there aren’t enough bowl eligible teams (6+ wins) to fill the remaining lower Tiered bowl games (tiers 4, 5, 6 and so on…), teams that finished the regular season with a 5-7 record would be selected based on their highest APR rankings until all the bowls are filled.


Completion of the Bowl Games and Playoffs

Depending on the calendar year, all bowl games and playoff games would be completed on or around the first or second weekend of January. 

So there you have it.  That’s my plan to fix the broken mess of FBS division college football playoffs.  I know it’s not perfect, but it’s better than what we have currently where some teams are left out and others are allowed in for the sake of bias and/or money.  

 If you like this plan…share it with your friends and social media groupies. 

If you don’t like it, then come up with a better plan instead of complaining about this one.   

It’s not perfect.  It needs some tweaks.  It won’t be easy, nor will many of you pathetic, blowhard college football fans enjoy the changes, but it could work.  

It’s not rocket science.  It’s a pathetic college football playoff system that should be better than it currently is.