What to Expect on a Day Without Women…From a Man’s Perspective…

For some reason liberal women think the world will stop revolving without them showing up for work for one day…

 

BAWWWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for that laugh.  I needed that this morning (as he drys the tears of joy from his eyes).

You silly women who bought into the idea that you’re all that and a bag of bovine chips.  You really have no idea how thankful we men are that you didn’t show up for work.

Because a day without women in the work place…

…is the day men get to make decisions without having someone interject their “feelings” about how they don’t agree with the decision that needed to be made. 

…is the day men are able to work in silence.  

…is the day men can talk like men without fear of persecution or harassment.

…is the day we men have more bathrooms to use. 

…is the day men don’t have to listen to some pathetic conversation about a soap opera, the bachelor, a pathetic failed relationship, complaints about how men never listen, stupid telephone conversations and how children won’t behave.

…is the day “bitchy” won’t be used to describe someone.  

…is the day that will go down in history as a day of rejoicing for all men.   

 

It’s pathetic for women to think that they are SOOO important to the work place that not showing up for one day will cause the world to collapse and all men to view them differently. 

 

Advertisements

Dunderheads

A conversation took place yesterday in an office across from my desk where one of the participants stated:  

“I’m going to have to take a week’s vacation so I can cool down enough not to come across the table at those who are making the decisions in this place.”

Okay….

it wasn’t that funny…

But I found it comical considering that our office is currently filled with dunderheads in management who couldn’t manage their way out of a corn maze cut in a straight line.

One such management decision was to consolidate all the information technology teams into one big team that would eventually save money; however, no one thought about putting together a cost allocation of how much money would actually be spent or saved if the consolidation went forward.

Now, just to be clear for those of you not in the know, cost allocation is the process of identifying, aggregating, and assigning costs to cost objects.  A cost object is any activity or item for which you want to separately measure costs.  Examples of cost objects are a product, a research project, a customer, a sales region, and a department.

Based on that definition of cost allocation, the upper dunderheads of our company should have assigned a cost to the people, the equipment and the man hours it would take for human resources to reassign locations, roles and job titles for each and every employee.  

Also included in that cost allocation should have been a set time frame for how many days, weeks, months or years it would take for all the listed resources to be moved and consolidated; along with a dollar amount associated per work hour to train the employees and to update, rename and/or reassign the equipment that is being transferred between agencies or divisions.

But, to my knowledge, none of that was ever completed.  Instead, the dunderheads that be, made the decision to move forward with the consolidation and then had the nerve to tell people that they were saving money.

Quizzically, the most prestigious dunderhead has even tried to paint a pretty picture for the general public by stating to the press that this consolidation is going to save five million dollars over the next five years.  

Thaaaaaat seems like a large dollar figure, but in light of the fact that our single agency alone spends over five million in less than three months, five million dollars in five years is like standing in front of a thousand acre corn field, grabbing an ear off a stalk, raising it above your head and declaring you saved one ear and thus ended hunger for all mankind.

. . . again . . . maaaybe not as funny as I thought…

Okay…so there have been other decisions as well that many of the dunderheads have made which contribute to the scratching of heads around here, such as…

  • Changing the title of a team without telling the specific team members the title changed.  
  • Changing accounting numbers for billing purposes, but not telling those who use the accounting numbers that they changed.
  • Putting a hold on all travel and training, but then finding out in the monthly corporate letter that the upper dunderheads traveled to training seminars in July, August, September, October, November and December.  — Ooo…and they posted pictures for all of us little people to see.  
  • Being told in a mass email that there is a hold on all non-essential purchases, and then receiving a request (I work in purchasing) to buy a television for one of the upper dunderheads because they personally don’t want to use a conference room.  

And those are just off the top of my head.

The decisions that have been made in the past year along with the actions of the upper dunderheads have caused me to question whether they have any idea how pathetic they are viewed by the rest of us who work here.  

It’s disappointing that no one has the courage to stand up to these people and to hold them accountable.

Maybe my co-worker who needs a vacation will muster the courage to stand up to them? 

Yeah…no.

It’s pathetic that I don’t see that happening.

 

 

prideful idiots

The following is my interpretation of the conversation my pathetic co-workers are currently having….

I’m so smart.  If it weren’t for me, the world would cease to exist.

No..no..no…I’m so much smarter than you or anyone else.

NO!  I’m smarter.

Hahaha…well, I have such a high opinion of myself that everyone needs to know it, so let me tell you just how great I am.

Your skills are good, but MY skills and traits are far greater than anyone on this earth can ever obtain.  I’m so special.

Well, I’m perfect.

Look at me!

I said…

Look at me!!

. . . . . . ???

I SAID….

LOOK AT ME!!!!

I’m the best, the smartest and the most knowledgeable about everything.

No one knows more than I do.

I know what’s best for everyone, not because I have experience, but because I’m just so damn smart so let me spout off how smart I am by telling you what I think I know about nothing in particular.

Hahaha…that was SOOOOOO smart, but you know…I know more because my mommy told me I was so knowledgeable and smart…and everyone knows that my mommy is never wrong.  Hell, she even left my daddy because he couldn’t understand how smart she was and his lack of knowledge was unbearable to her.

What an idiot daddy was.

Mommy is so smart.

I love mommy.

Mommy packed my lunch today.  I think I got a surprise.

Maybe it’s pudding!

wouldn’t that be great!?

mmmmm….

I like pudding.

hey! why did you walk away?   . . . . . ???

Where are you going?

….???…..

What?

What do you mean I’m annoying?  . . .

huh?

….

 

Toxicity

toxicity

Most mornings it’s a struggle for me to get out of bed, not because I hate my job… no… I actually like what I do, but it’s more along the lines that I loathe the office that I work in.

In yesterday’s post I wrote about my co-worker who for the better part of fifteen years has repeatedly said inappropriate things in the workplace and basically gotten away with it because our pathetic human resources department won’t deal with the issue.

Numerous people have complained.  He’s been written up over and over again.  HR has been contacted and yet…

He’s still here.  

Furthermore, I failed to tell you that he’s also a know-it-all as well as an annoying repeat story teller.  

He prides himself on spouting the stupidest stuff and brags about it over and over again.  

Sadly, what he THINKS he knows is typically regurgitated from online media sources, social networking and other unreliable sources that lace their scripts with opinionated lies and very general information.  Quite sadly, there’s no depth or substance to his pathetic renditions of what he thinks he’s learned on the internets.

AND!!  And!!!  Annnddd…!!!!    (please imagine me shaking my pointy little finger at you while saying, “AND!!  And!!  Annnddd!!)  I should mention that if you do happen to correct him with actual facts and show him the facts to be true, he absolutely refuses to accept those facts as truth and will argue that you’re wrong and he’s right.  

He even goes so far as to call you horrible names trying to intimidate you into backing off your stance and believing what he said was truth.  He will NOT accept the truth unless one of the social internet of things corroborates what you said as factual.      

Oh!  and the issue of him being an annoying repeat story teller, I can honestly tell you that I’ve heard the same stories from him multiple times since I started working here, and I’ve only been here for a year and a half.

And believe me when I tell you . . . his stories are not entertaining.  If the Guinness Book of World’s Records had a category for the most boring and repetitive story teller ever…he would be the all-time champion.  

And of course, there’s his whole tainted selfish opinion of anyone on the earth who does NOT share his opinionated drivel.  These are the people that he will generalize and label, typically referring to them in a thunderously hostile tone of negative name-calling and boastful propagation. 

And he’s not the only one…

There’s a small group who sits on the other side of my wall who constantly complain about work, politics, the internet, insurance, people, government and anything else their pathetic meaningless minds worry about on a given day.

I actually refer to this place as my little block-o-hell because it’s toxic and more negative than the radioactive site at Chernobyl.

I’ve asked for my own office, complained about the negativity to HR, complained to my supervisor about my coworker and the others in my office space, commiserated with co-workers who share in my plight, prayed over the issue for peace…heck, I’ve even written blog posts about how this place is NOT a positive working environment…but it’s all to no avail.

I’m stuck here…

In this block-o-hell…

forever…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . sigh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If it wasn’t for people, I’d actually enjoy this place.

I hope and pray that one day soon I can finally find a work place that’s positive and that I actually enjoy getting up in the morning to go to work.

 

 

Something…Brewing

work1

I feel like something bad is going to happen at my work place either today, this week or in the near future.

Over of the past year the people here have been basically put on notice that they won’t be losing their jobs, but there isn’t a guarantee they will be keeping their jobs either, and this has been causing a lot of stress among the cattle.  

Also, I have a co-worker on my team who isn’t exactly the most positive person in the world and last week our supervisor had to talk to him about saying things that were inappropriate in the work place.  

This is the umpteenth time he’s been talked too about his vocabulary and his negative attitude.  

 You might ask, why does he still have a job?  

Welllll. . . sadly, our pathetic human resources department is about as lazy and inept as a group of people can be.  

Instead of firing people who have been spoken too repeatedly or written up multiple times for their lack of effort, irrational behavior or down-right pathetic negativity, the human resources department makes it a point to extend the leash a few more feet.  In other words, they like to give people more time to figure it out; therefore, he still has a job.

Honestly, I can understand giving someone a chance or two, but when they constantly repeat the offense over a period of ten or fifteen years…

umm…

yeeeeaaaahhhhh….. no. . . That person’s gotta go.  

Yesterday he was moody and a little out of sorts, so I’m not all that excited about working next to him today and really hope he calls in sick. 

I’d really like to leave this place and find a better environment, but I have no idea where that would be.  

Anyway…if something does happen here at my workplace, it’s been nice knowing ya.

– 

CoWorker Question

crazy1

There’s this guy in my office that I refer to as “Flapjack”.  The reason is because he sounds exactly like the cartoon character.  If you’re not familiar with the cartoon character, here’s a sample:  FLAPJACK ANNOYING LAUGH

Imagine having to listen to that all day, every day.

Okay, so now that you’re all aware of his annoying voice, this morning we all had the displeasure of having to listen to one-full-hour of Flapjack complaining about his 3D printer and how it doesn’t work properly.

That was from 8 AM to 9 AM.

Currently…since one of his “friends” wasn’t in the office until 9:15, flapjack felt it necessary to walk away from his desk so he could recite the exact same 3D printer story we all heard the first time around.

Disappointed4

So, I have to ask…

Is it wrong to pray for an appendicitis for one of your co-workers?

It’s pathetic having to work in the same office as Flapjack.

 

 

Wikidork’s Morning Thoughts

Wrong

For the past 25 minutes I have had to listen to Wikidork tell another coworker that the singers on The Voice aren’t very good and how they don’t match up to his quality of singer.

He then proceeded to explain the two qualities that make a top-quality singer.

Of course these are only from his view point so take them for what they’re worth.

First, they MUST (and he did stress the word “must”) have superior stage presence.  If they can’t draw the crowd into the song, then they will never be a good singer.  And second, they should ALWAYS (and yes…he stressed the word “always”) sing from their body and not their head.  When a singer is singing a song from their head and not focusing on their body, they aren’t very good.

Of course, he left out things like quality of pitch, in or out of tune, on or off key, able to breathe properly, staying on time and able to generate some kind of rhythm; but why would those things be important?  

What Wikidork never seems to take into consideration is that other people (this writer for one) know way more than he does, but hey…he really likes the sound of his own voice.  

It’s just too bad people don’t come with an on-off switch. 

Even more pathetic was that directly after that conversation Wikidork decided to share with his coworkers that having a civil war here in the United States would be fun.  

I really didn’t have the heart to inform him how pathetic that comment actually was.

Wikidork is now sharing his insights with another coworker about how the Blue Angels don’t know how to fly.  –  This stuff is hilarious because he’s never flown a plane in his life!!!

LOL!!!  — I have to update this because one of his coworkers just asked if he’s ever flown a plane and he replied, “no, but I have flown planes on flight simulators and that’s transferable.”   – –  LOL!!!!!  

Wikidork!  Living up to his pathetic namesake since 1975.