Carbon Monoxide Detectors + Garage Door Openers

Every automatic garage door opener should have carbon monoxide detectors built in which would automatically raise the door if the carbon monoxide levels reach a certain level. 

They should also have weight sensors that sense the weight of the garage door within a specific range that will trigger a very loud and annoying audible alarm if it senses that the door did not open automatically when those carbon monoxide levels have reached a critical state. 

The alarm would have to be manually shut off within 2 minutes by pressing the door opener button either on the wall or the handheld remote three times; and if that doesn’t happen, the device would automatically send an emergency call to 911 that the levels are extremely high and someone is in danger.

Not a fool proof idea…but it’s pathetic someone hasn’t thought of this before now. 

– 

 

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Happy International “I’m going to pout and scream and cry and yell if you don’t shower me with the attention I THINK I deserve” day.

This is a pathetic holiday

 

14 Days to Broke: Playing the Lottery


Say you’re a happy-go-lucky person with $1,000 burning a hole in your pocket, and you decide to “invest” this money in lottery tickets, and keep on reinvesting the proceeds of your bets to buy even more lottery tickets.  
How long do you think you could keep this game rolling?

Let’s play:

If you buy $1,000 worth of $1 lottery tickets on Day 1, then statistically speaking, the average lottery payout of 60% means you’ll have $600 left to spend on Day 2.

Spend that $600 on Day 2, and by Day 3, you’re down to $360.

Keep going, and by Day 14, you will have (on average) just $0.78 left jingling in your pocket.

In other words, two weeks of playing the lottery has left you too broke to afford a single lottery ticket. You’ve gambled away nearly every cent you started with.

It’s no wonder Bloomberg calls it the “Sucker Index.”

Food for Thought

Does a lumberjack keep swinging an ax at a tree that he’s already chopped down?  

Does a carpenter keep hammering a nail that’s he’s already driven into a board?  

If the answer to both questions is “No”, then shouldn’t you stop gnawing on the same past experiences that cause pain and disappointment and seek the things that can bring a brighter future to your otherwise pathetic life? 

 

 

Words of Discouragement for a Lifetime of Regret

I’d like to take a moment here on my blog-o-pathetic to list off a few words of discouragement that have been directed at me over the years by people who claimed to “love” me. 

And yes…These “love-claiming people” included very close family members, girlfriends, friends, co-workers and self-proclaimed “christians”.

So, Let’s begin!!

You’re a moron.

You’re the most horrible man I’ve ever met.

You’re an embarrassment.

You’re the stupidest man in the world.

You’re going to be a horrible husband.

You’d make a horrible father.

Your children will hate you.

If you ever get married, your wife will leave you.

You’re an asshole.

You’re a troll.

You have zero qualities that anyone would want to share.

You’re not “christ-like”.

Jesus hates you.

You have nothing to offer anyone.

You’re a joke.

You’re disgusting.

You’re the ugliest man alive.

Why don’t you do the world a favor and die already?

You’re so horrible that hell is too good for you.

You make people miserable.

You’re a coward.

You’re so dumb.

You’re so unattractive.

You’re not a man.

I don’t hate you, I loathe you.

No one will ever love you.

You’ll never amount to anything.

The world would be a better place if you were never born.

You’re an ignorant ass.

No woman will ever want you back.

No woman will ever want you, period.

If any woman ever asked me for advice on dating you, I’d tell her to flee.

You are the most boring person I’ve ever met.

You’re unforgivable. 

You’re the worst uncle in the world.

You’re the worst brother anyone could ever have. 

You will never succeed at anything. 

You are so ugly.  Why would you ever think I would like you?  

. . . . . . . . 

Pathetic people are everywhere and they say some of the most horrible things, but whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and what makes you stronger makes them more pathetic.    

 

Authority Figures

It was a church youth group that I had been invited to when I was about 10 years old.  About 50 or 60 kids of various ages had gathered in a room of the church where a teacher was about to begin a lesson on some topic none of us children would ever remember. 

Since it was a large group of kids, I had chosen to sit in the back of the room near a couple guys I knew, and about mid-way through the lesson one of the guys I was sitting with, for no apparent reason, started to leech saliva on me.

If you’re not familiar with the action of leeching saliva, it’s when someone opens their mouth then presses their tongue on the roof of their mouth to literally shoot a stream of saliva in the direction of an object or person.

It’s disgusting.

Therefore, me being repulsed and not wanting to interrupt the speaker, I tried to be as quiet and nonchalant as possible by telling the kid to stop and then sliding a few feet to the left from the guy who was continuing to leech on my person; but the leecher kid didn’t stop.  Matter of fact, he decided to slide over as well and continued his disgusting onslaught of leeching.

Once more, I quietly slid a few more feet away hoping the kid would get the hint and stop…but the leecher followed.

Yet again…I quietly slid a little further away…but to no avail because once again, the leecher kid followed.

By now I was really frustrated, so I sternly looked at the kid and whispered, “Knock it off!”  Consequently, it was louder than I had expected and after the words left my lips I turned back towards the group only to see that everyone in the room was now staring directly back at me.  Including the pathetic teacher.

I didn’t mean to make a scene, I really didn’t!  And at that moment I had a deep yearning to be someplace else. . . Even better. . .someone else . . . because it was an extremely uncomfortable situation. 

Regrettably, I didn’t have the ability to transform into someone else, nor did I have the ability to teleport someplace else; so I was stuck.  And quite sadly, that wasn’t the most pathetic part of the story.

To this day, I still don’t remember the topic the pseudo teacher was sharing with the group; however, I do remember the conversation that he and I had after I disrupted the lesson he was attempting to convey to the class. . .

Teacher: “Umm, is there a problem back there?”

Me:  “Yes.  (pointing directly at the leecher)  This kid is spiting on me!”

Teacher:  (with surprised look on his face) “Well. . . You do know it isn’t polite to be a tattletale?  Try to keep it down.”

At that moment I went through a number of emotions.  Anger, disbelief, confusion, shock, disappointment, frustration, sadness and regret. 

I couldn’t believe that I was reprimanded for trying to stand up for myself and this leecher kid was left unpunished.  More than anything I was left with a lot of disappointment and anger because the teacher called ME out for being a tattletale and didn’t stand up for me when I needed someone to help, protect or stand up for me.

If the the roles had been reversed and this sham of a “leader” were in my spot, would he call out the person for the wrong they were committing towards his person?  

Would he want to get rebuked for standing up for himself?

Would he expect the “authority” of the group to come to his aid?

After all, shouldn’t the authority figure in the room do something to balance the scales and provide some form of protection against those who were causing discomfort towards others? 

Additionally, I sat there for the remainder of the lesson getting leeched on by a horrible kid and wondering how this pseudo “leader” could call me out on being a tattletale and not reprimand the leecher for spitting on me.

In that moment I was hoping for someone to stand up for me.  To provide protection from that kid who was making me uncomfortable.  To balance to the scales….To do SOMETHING to help me. 

At the very least the pseudo leader could have moved me to the front of the room to save me from this torrential downpour of saliva. . .But sadly, he did nothing.

Well…that’s not entirely true.  He did leave me with an empty feeling of dissatisfaction, a label for trying to right a wrong being committed against my person, and a lifetime of regret and distrust towards others. 

. . . . .

Brav – – – –  

 

yeah…not so much… 

Pseudo leadership is not only frustrating and annoying, but it’s extremely pathetic.