By now, I would hope that the majority of you have come to realize that I’m not like the rest of the herd. I tend to live by my own way of thinking, even if that way isn’t the most popular.
So today, I’d like to provide you with some very fake, very made up percentages that I created just to be annoying and down right pathetic. I’m only doing this because I’m bored out of my mind at work this morning and need something to pass the time.
Soo…..off we go!
1% of people who drink coffee have never even seen a coffee bean.
7% of people brush their teeth holding their toothbrush in their left hand.
10% of the male population will never grow a mustache.
16% of children have never watched a cartoon.
25% of Russians don’t know what a shoe lace is.
33% of toilet bowls are made from bamboo.
46% of active politicians had their sweat glands removed before running for office.
58% of social media users JUST posted something they regret.
61% of the Chinese population were attacked by North Korean ninjas over the last half century.
72% of automobiles never passed the toddler test. (toddler test: when a group of three to six year old’s get into a car and jump up and down on the seats, pour drinks on the fabric and throw toys and temper tantrums.)
80% of females think they look fat in their outfits today.
88% of men don’t care if a woman thinks she looks fat in her outfit today (the other 12% are asleep).
91% of people walking somewhere will not make eye contact with anyone because they are too busy looking down, staring at their phones or tablets.
94% of you reading this list think these figures are real because you didn’t read the part at the beginning where I said “I MADE THEM UP”.
100% of the 94% are really pathetic, the rest of you who took the time to read through this list are just average pathetic.
Percentages are pathetic. Happy Friday.