This may come as a shock, but over the course of my working career I’ve been sexually harassed by both genders…women and men.
Let me begin with the woman who felt it necessary to touch me in a manner that made me really uncomfortable. — She actually confessed to the manager that she had feelings for me and was hoping I would feel the same. She thought touching me in certain ways and at different times would give a subtle hint… — umm…not so much.
A few years before that there was a woman who made it a point to tell our co-workers that she was going to marry me and we were going to have lots of children together….of course this was without my consent or knowledge…heck! I later found out that to top it off, she even went so far as to order a wedding cake and plan out the ceremony she was going to have with me as the groom! . . . . sigh . . . Wasn’t that sweet of her? — let me answer that for ya . . . Nope!
Of course there was also the middle-aged homosexual man who made it a point to conveniently have a cigarette every morning just outside the door that led to my office. I always found it weird why he would
chase follow me and another male co-worker into the office and offer us treats, homemade goodies or give us compliments on our looks and ask us over to dinner. — uhhh…thanks but, I’m into girls.
Since this is a PG rated blog, I’m only sharing the less graphic versions of my adventures in harassment. I could go further into detail, but that’s just a waste of your time and mine.
Believe me when I tell you that I’ve had my fair share of people who have made unwanted sexual advances towards me in the work place; however, every single time it’s happened, I’ve tolerated it for a few weeks before I finally said something to them about how uncomfortable it was. If they didn’t get my hint, I would take the matter up with my supervisors or human resources to put an end to it.
No matter how embarrassing it might be. No matter what it might do to my career. I didn’t want to let it drag on, I didn’t want to make excuses like, “oh well, people are just that way,” and I didn’t tolerate it for the sake of my career.
Some of you might be thinking or saying… “yeah, but you’re a guy. It’s easier for you to stand up and say something.”
Uhhh . . . . NO . IT . IS . NOT!
You have no idea how many times I thought about staying quiet and just coping with the situation hoping it would just blow over. Truth is, since I was a guy, I was afraid that no one would believe me, or worse, that I’d become the joke of the office.
Eventually I realized that if I didn’t speak up, these people who were making me uncomfortable would have power over me for a long time to come, and they would never stop. Worse yet, that I would never have another day where I felt comfortable coming to work or leaving my home.
Don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t easy confronting the person who was making me uncomfortable or going to my supervisor and telling them a co-worker was making me uncomfortable, but I had to do it. I had to suck it up and realize that if I lost my job because the company decided to back a person who made me uncomfortable, then that wasn’t a company I wanted to work for. Not too mention, that if my supervisor didn’t care enough about me to take me seriously and investigate the situation, then that wasn’t a person I wanted to work for either.
That’s why this whole mess of accusers who are coming forward with claims they were harassed 20, 30 or 40 years ago, doesn’t sit well with me. Nor does it sit well with me that people are getting fired over these claims and accusations without due process.
These people (both men and women) are just NOW coming forward with all these accusations of unwanted sexual harassment?
Taking a look back at the events that transpired when I approached my supervisors, I made certain that they investigated the situation and formed a case before taking any actions. They interviewed people who were witnesses, they took the time to gather evidence and conspicuously confronted the accused to form a case before taking it to human resources, handling the matter outright or even taking legal action.
It disappointments me that the accusers today aren’t interested in forming a case against those they accused. Whether it did or did not happen, the accusers just want to be right and want their brand of justice. — Get them fired. Get them out. They hurt me and I want the world to know it! — The motives of these people can be described in one word: REVENGE.
In my past situations I never wanted revenge. I just wanted the people who were making lewd comments to stop so I could be comfortable going to work for 8+ hours a day.
Revenge is not a good thing because it reveals the true side of the human heart. The corruption and hatred, the selfishness and pride, the arrogance, the bitterness, the strife.
It really amazes me how no one seems to be calling out these accusers for waiting for so long. What is their motive? Why now? Why did they wait so long?!?! Instead, they form social media groups and hashtag labels to let others join in the #metoo campaign.
They call it “strength in numbers”…
I call it Pathetic!!
It’s also pathetic how harassmentgate 2017 has ballooned into this horrible mess of pathetic stupidity when none of this should be happening right now because the accusers who are claiming “harassment” should have stood up years ago and put the accused in their place then…not waiting some 20, 30 or 40 years in the future to get their revenge!
Ironically, their revenge is bitter sweet because all of the accused have amassed fortunes over the years, and are living high on the hog. If they get fired from whatever they were doing, so what! They just take their fortunes and run.
Retirement, here they come!
You know, I’m not shocked by it, but in all honesty I find it difficult to understand how the world has become such a horrible place to live. How did we get here?
The world is filled with followers who are flat out pathetically crazy, and more and more cattle decide to wander into the other pasture following the masses down a broad road of destruction.
It’s pathetic they are even considered part of the human race.