1980’s Rock Band

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Van Halen was on Jimmy Kimmel tonight. 

They had David Lee Roth as the lead singer…

….at least, it looked like David Lee Roth.

It was definitely some guy who resembled David Lee Roth in voice and stature, but he was about 90, so that couldn’t be David Lee Roth.   

Anyway, their performance was a pathetic waste of time and honestly would have been better suited for an opening act at a Mayan volcano sacrifice.    

In other words…it was pathetic and very difficult to watch and listen to.

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Sports Spectaculum (for you less educated that’s Latin for “public show”)

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7:00 PM.

That was the time the game was scheduled to start, but did it start at 7:00 PM?

No.  No…it…did…not.

And why did it not start at 7:00 PM?

 Because the network broadcasting the game decided to do an exposé on several players from both teams.  Those little journalistic reports of the facts about something I care nothing about took over an hour and were incredibly annoying.

I remember the days when the networks would schedule the game at a certain time and that was the time the kickoff actually took place.  Sadly…not any more!

Oh No!

Now we “television spectators” have to endure watching a bunch of over-hyped crap about how some player overcame a problem with athlete’s foot or jock itch to become the “man” he is today.  On top of that we then have to suffer through twenty minutes of a coin toss that makes no difference in the outcome of a game.

7:00 PM.

That was the time the game was supposed to start.  That’s the time the game is supposed to start. 

I don’t care that one of the players had a groin pull because he was trying a new position with another groupie who was hoping to make a name for herself in college (a decision she will definitely regret later in life).

I don’t care that a coach lost his passport on the way to Canada and was detained for a few hours while the U.S. embassy had to be contacted to verify his citizenship.

I don’t care that the third-string kicker had a growth removed from his left nostril at the age of three and had to endure taunting, bullying and hazing from his peers.

Nope. I don’t care about any of that crap.  All I care about is watching a game between two teams so that I don’t have to do the “honey-do” list that I’ve been putting off for the past six months.

Gimme the kickoff…not a bunch of journalistic mumbo-jumbo that has no bearing on whether my bookie pays me or I pay my bookie.

Network sports is pathetic.

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