Top Ten Pathetic Comments of 2014

 

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Every year there are comments that are made to me that I find helpful.  For instance, “I think you need to take a shower, because you smell.”  or  “If you touch that plate of cookies, you’ll end up with a mouth full of ‘I don’t know what hit me’.” 

And the one that probably saved me from doing something rash, “Put the flame thrower back in the garage.  There’s no reason to take it to work today.” 

But for all the positive and meaningful comments I’ve heard through the year, I’ve also heard my fair share of really pathetic comments, and those are the ones I’d like to share with you in this post. 

Here are the top ten most pathetic comments that have been shared with me this past year: 

(Please note:  These are comments that have been shared with me…if you or someone you know has heard a pathetic comment during the past year and would like to share it, please do so in the comments section.)

So, without further ado…

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# 10)  “If I wasn’t so pretty, I’d have more dates.”

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This comment was made by a woman who thought she was so pretty that guys were intimidated by her looks.  I’m positive that she was just trying to rationalize why she never gets asked out, because the honest truth is…she isn’t that pretty and her personality is just as ugly. 

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# 9)  “Reality television is never staged. Everything we see on those shows is real and unscripted.”

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It’s just great knowing that network television has done its job of brainwashing even the lowest class in the herd to think that “reality” tv is real.  (sigh)

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# 8)  “Our youngest was struggling with a really bad illness when I moved to another state for my job. I guess my wife couldn’t handle me not being there to help her out, but that can’t be the reason she left me.”

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I seriously considered this comment as number one on the list of most pathetic comments I had heard in 2014.   I mean, the guy who spoke these words to me was obviously clueless; however, after careful consideration and some glancing over the many other comments, I decided to drop it down to number eight on the list.

These words were spoken in early 2014 by an old friend thinking that his actions weren’t detrimental to his failed marriage.  He couldn’t believe that leaving his wife alone for a year with four children, the youngest having an illness, would have any repercussions on his marriage.   FYI…He’s divorced now.

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# 7)  “There is absolutely no chance we’ll succeed, but let’s give it a try.”

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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard these words.  I can’t tell you, because I lost track of how often they have been articulated.

I hear them everyday at work by the same person who just can’t seem to ever look at things in a positive manner.  Every project is a failure before we even begin.  I think they enjoy looking at everything as an impossibility and then once the project is complete, they look back and see their accomplishments as a miracle.

At some point I will write a post about the “miracle worker” in my office, until then…you’ll just have to imagine their existence.

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# 6)  “I blew into the interlock device and now my car won’t start. Why?”  

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For those of you who don’t know what an “interlock” device is.  It’s the thing the court orders to have installed on your car after you’ve been arrested for drunk driving.  You have to blow into it and if it registers a certain amount of alcohol in your system, it keeps the car from starting  (enough said.) 

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# 5)  “If the team had scored more points, they would have won.”

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Really, captain obvious!  Really?!   So you’re telling me that if the team would have scored more points than the other team…they would be the team holding the trophy?  I’m sure the losing team and all their fans didn’t realize that.  Maybe you should go tell them.  

The above comment was made after the world cup championship match.  I’m positive that no one else caught the comment, but you’ll be happy to know that I was listening intently and captured it word for word.  Sportscasters can really be pathetic.    

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# 4)  “I don’t love him, but I’m going to marry him because no one else is asking.”

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I don’t know the young woman who spoke these words.  I was sitting in a coffee shop this past summer and overheard a conversation, but I was shocked when she said this to her friends. 

Quite honestly, I don’t know which was more pathetic…this comment or the response from her friends who reassured her that…and I quote…“marriage isn’t about love.  It’s about you being happy.” 

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# 3)  “Wal-Mart is the Prada of Arkansas.”

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I read this in an investment article and it made me laugh.  … 

it still makes me laugh …

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# 2)  “Wealthy people marry wealthy because poor people don’t know how to handle money.”

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This was in a blog post from some guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to the world.  I won’t bother telling you who the mentally challenged bovine is or give you a link to his blog either because I don’t think he deserves the web traffic.

The reason his comment was so pathetic that it reached number two on my list, is because he makes the assumption that poor people don’t know how to manage money and insinuates that those people are poor because they can’t handle their finances.

There are so many other reasons that this was high on my list, but I’ll spare you the rantings and ravings and leave you with this:

His assumptions and insinuations about the wealthy and poor are so far off base that it made me want to reach through the monitor and brand his hide with the back of my hand.

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Annnnnnd… now the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

(NO!!  I’m not deleting my blog!!!)

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((drum roll please))

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The most pathetic comment I heard in 2014 came from a crazy woman in her late 20’s who thinks that her life is over because she’s not married yet. 

She’s been trying to find a man, and she thinks that she may have found Mr. “Oh my goodness!  I think he likes me, but I hope he can put up with crazy!”

However, the man she’s found is dating someone else and for now, they are only friends. 

They have not yet been on a date.  They have only talked on the phone, shared some time with one another on a rare occasion and passed fleeting glances at one another from afar.

Yet! 

That didn’t stop her from sharing this with me…

# 1)  “We’re not dating, and we’ve never gone on a date; but I told him that if he didn’t break up with his girlfriend in the next two weeks, we were through.”

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So there ya have it!  My list of top ten quotes that I found to be so very pathetic of 2014. 

I hope you enjoyed reading them and once more…if you have a pathetic quote that you want to share, please feel free to comment.  I’d enjoy hearing them. 

Furthermore, I’m very hopeful that 2015 will bring a whole lot more pathetic into my life and yours!

May you all have a very Pathetic and Happy New Year!!

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