To Wrap Someone in Barbed Wire. . . Or Not. . .

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I’d like to ask, how many of you have prayed a prayer for someone you know, that sounds something similar to this . . . 

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“Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus, there’s someone in my life who really needs You.
They really need to know You and trust You, so I pray that You please give that person strength and patience and wisdom while leading them to You.
I also pray that You put them where You want them, so they can do Your will.”   ?  

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It sounds like a decent prayer, doesn’t it?

Now. . . Imagine yourself or another person wrapped in barbed wire having to stand completely still for days on end.

You or they have to stand completely still because with every move the barbs cut deep into the skin, inflicting intense pain all over the body.

The pain is excruciating. 

There’s no escape from the wire.   

Well…I got news for you…the prayer mentioned above is not decent at all.  

Matter of fact, that prayer is about as vicious and mean-spirited as one can get.  You might as well ask God to wrap someone in barbed wire and leave them in that state for as long as He wants.  You might not agree, but that’s the reality of asking God to “GIVE” someone strength and/or patience. 

It’s akin to asking God to throw the worst at a person, because God freely gives wisdom, grace, redemption, forgiveness, love and compassion. . . but not strength and patience.

Strength and patience are learned, which means God has to teach…which means God uses that opportunity to stir up strife in a person’s life by turning up the heat to make a person suffer for as long as God determines they should suffer.

Well . . . at least until that person either learns patience and develops strength…or they just become jaded, hopeless, faithless, frustrated and angry.

Furthermore, when you combine:  “they need to know You and trust You”  &  “put them where You want them”,  you’ve just requested more than you could never want for someone. 

You might not even consider what you’re asking for because in your mind you have this idea that God will put them someplace wonderful where they will be happy and joyful, but the reality is that God will most likely put them in a series of really bad situations that cause them to suffer more than you could ever imagine.  (read the book of Job in the bible as a reference)

Of course, this will have an impact on you as well! 

It’ll cause you to stress and worry about them, which will cause you to spend more time praying for that person. 

Unfortunately, because you don’t know what you’re actually requesting, you won’t change your prayer requests, and you’ll continue asking God for the exact same things.  —  “Give them patience & strength and put them where You want them so they trust & know You!” 

By doing so, as God answers your requests, the infliction MIGHT become more tragic, sorrowful, distressful or down right depressing for not only the person you’re praying for but for you as well.   

You’ll end up having to watch that person suffer through hardship after hardship, and it’s all because you naively made what you thought was a simple request.

What I’m saying is that when you think your prayer is asking for something simple, you very well might be asking God to wrap someone in barbed wire multiple times.

It really is a twisted, vicious cycle.  Therefore, you need to do a couple things before you start praying for someone…

First:  Consider how God might answer the prayer you’re about to pray by asking yourself a series of questions such as:  what kind of suffering could be caused by my prayer?  – what will the end result be?  – is it possible the pain and suffering could last years?  –  will the suffering they go through cause me to suffer as well?  etc… etc… etc…

And Second:  If you’re not willing to watch that person go through pain and suffering, then change your vocabulary when you pray for people and yourself! 

To do this, I’ve come up with a list of Do’s and Don’ts for praying that might help you when you pray for another person and/or yourself.

The DON’Ts . . .  there are only three and they are very simple. . .

1)  NEVER, and I mean NEVER, ask God to “GIVE“ someone patience and/or strength.
2)  NEVER ask God to “put them where He wants them”.
3)  NEVER ask for something you wouldn’t want for yourself!

The DO’s . . .

1)  Always acknowledge the pain someone might be suffering through.
2)  Always ask God to release them from the suffering and pain, but if they must go through it…request that God be merciful and possibly shorten the time frame and HE be their endurance.
3)  Always ask God to bless them in abundance to build their faith in Him.
4)  Always ask God to remember that we are but dust and their lives are fruitless without Him.
5)  Always ask God to BE their strength and BE their patience, and if He’s to give them anything, let it be abundant wisdom, grace, mercy, compassion and love through the Holy Spirit.
6)  Always ask God to release them from sin and deliver them from the evil of this world.
7)  Always ask God to BE their protector and gentle Shepherd to lead them beside quiet waters and make them lie down in green pastures.
8)  Always remind God that they are His, and the conflicts in their body, soul and mind are what keep them separated from Him.
9)  Always remind God of His desire to see ALL humans come to Him by faith through/in His son Jesus.
10)  Always remind God of His compassionate, loving nature.
11)  Always remind God that humans fail, and we understand that discipline comes with sin because the Lord disciplines those He loves, but this person needs Him to be less disciplinarian and more a loving Father.
12)  Always remind God that Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
13)  Always ask God to be merciful to those who are lost and desperately need Him.
14)  Always finish a prayer acknowledging the power of faith in Jesus and His will to obey the Father in everything.

here’s an example:

“Heavenly Father, I know of a man/woman who You created, and they are suffering.  Though I do not know the extent of their pain, I know that You do.  You see their hurt.  You see their misery.  You see how they have been mistreated by others.  You see how they are cursed.  You see how they are suffering.
“They need You now more than ever, therefore, I ask You to take away their suffering and replace it with Your abundant blessings.  Do so, Father, that their faith in You would be encouraged and built up, beginning with a solid foundation in Your Son, Jesus.
“If what they are having to suffer through is for their good, I ask that You shorten the time frame, and that You would be their endurance.  For we know that these temporary trials are to build our faith, to increase our endurance…
“But remember that they are but dust and their lives are fruitless without You.  At this time, be their strength and patience because they are a fragile mess with a weak spirit that may not be able to endure the hardship of learning the traits You desire them to learn.
“I know they belong to You, as all humanity belongs to You, and the conflicts of sin in their body, soul and mind are keeping them from you, so I ask that You be their protector from the evils of this world and Shepherd them through the teaching and yearning of the Holy Spirit to read Your word so they will learn about You and draw closer to You and Jesus.
“Bless them, Father, not because they deserve it, but because they need to know that You are kind and compassionate and filled with love for them.  For You are a God of compassion, lovingkindness, truth, grace, mercy and patience.  We humans, on the other hand, are hurtful, filled with spite, unkind, uncompassionate, unloving and impatient.
“We fail, just as this person has failed…but Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, so please be merciful to this man/woman so they might recognize You as being the only salvation and only way to eternal life.
“Bless them, Father, do not curse them.  They’ve been through so much in the short time they’ve had on this earth, and they just need a number of positive outcomes to help them get to where they recognize Your love.
“It is by the power of faith in Jesus, Your only Son, who was and is and will come again.  Who has done, and will continue, to do Your will forever.  Who sits at Your right hand, interceding on behalf of everyone who comes to You through faith in Him that I make this request of You.   –  Amen.

 

Yes, it’s a longer prayer, but it’s a much more sympathetic prayer, wouldn’t you agree? 

The only reason I’m giving you this advice is because over the past 50 years of my life I have had people praying for me and they always pray the same thing, “give him strength.  give him patience.  put him where You want him”, and their prayers have contributed to making my life miserable.

There are a number of ways I’ve had to suffer over the past 50 years, and I won’t go into detail.  Just know that what seems like a simple, innocent prayer can actually be a prayer that leads to incurable wounds that cut deeper than the soul. 

I do understand that scripture (James 1:1-3) teaches us that the testing of our faith produces endurance and that we are to – let endurance have its perfect result, so that we may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. – but we also have to remember that every person has a breaking point and asking God to “GIVE” someone patience and strength will only inflict hardship upon hardship on a person. 

Consequently, without alleviating the burden or lightening the load. . . without a few blessings in a person’s life to lift their spirits . . . a person can, and will, fall into despair, hopelessness, faithlessness, anger, melancholy, discouragement, depression and other harmful traits.

Therefore, you need to understand that HOW and WHAT you pray might be affecting someone more negatively than you anticipated.

In short . . . Be mindful of your prayers for others and remember that if you wouldn’t want it, then don’t request it for another person, so don’t ask God to “GIVE” patience and strength to someone because you might as well ask that God wrap them in barbed wire.

That’s not pathetic…it’s downright vicious.

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