On April 1, 2017 the United States of America took drastic measures to fix their illegal immigration problem.
This morning Donald Trump signed into law the “New World Order Act” that will allow the United States of America to be the first nation in the world to abolish their borders and recognize every human on Earth as a citizen of the United States of America whether they like it or not.
By overwhelming congressional support the measure passed unanimously in both the House and Senate, with Hawaiian Senator, Mazie Hirono, being the only Senator to abstain because, like much of the world, she was overly consumed with a streaming video of a pregnant giraffe.
When asked about abstaining on a measure that would likely piss off every country around the world, Senator Hirono said, “I don’t care about borders! But I do care about expectant mothers, therefore, I believe I speak for all the birthing mothers of the world when I say, ‘April…we know what you’re going through…labor is difficult, but hang in there, girl!'”
The abrupt passing and signing of this measure into law now means that, according to the USA, sovereign countries no longer exist and every nation around the world has now become a single state within the USA.
This also means that every single person in the world is now subject to the laws of the United States as well as all governmental oversight.
Education, Healthcare, Welfare, Childcare, Social Security. . .all of which will now be monitored on a global scale out of Washington D.C.
“Every person in the world will now be monitored by the Departments of Education, HHS, Homeland security, the CIA, FBI and also taxed by the IRS,” said out going White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Katie Walsh.
While discussing her up coming vacation she also added, “and we feel this measure will provide an avenue for citizens everywhere to freely shop, travel, play, frolic, skip and hula-hoop anywhere around the world without having to worry about customs or carrying those crappy passports.”
House Democratic minority leader, Nancy Pelosi, had this to say; “Today, the people of the world have a chance to understand what it’s like to be an American citizen. We’re now one. . .big. . .happy. . .family!!”
However, many leaders around the world didn’t share the same opinions.
In response to the bill passed by the United States the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov, issued this statement on behalf of his country,
“We, the Russian Federation, feel it necessary to inform the world that because of these measures taken by the United States of America We, the Russian Federation, have decided to abolish our borders and consume every nation as a part of Russian pride. As of this very second, all the nations of the world, including the USA and all its territories, are hereby a part of the People’s Republic of the Russian Empire.
Ironically and strangely enough, within minutes of Donald Trump signing the New World Order Act into law countries around the world began to follow suit. All passing similar measures that removed their borders and declared every person around the world a new citizen of their very own country.
It should be mentioned, however, that for various reasons Germany, France, Japan and Switzerland have all chosen not to make any decisions on their borders until taking time to discuss the issue in length.
When asked whether or not he considered these other nations as a threat, POTUS Donald Trump said, “We won’t back down. We will fight and we will win, thank you!
Does my hair look okay? No…seriously, does my hair look okay?… no? yes? thumbs up? thumbs down? ….anybody? … my hair? . . . does it look good? … … … looks good?
Okay. Thank you.”