Lab Rat

My manager and I were discussing the reasons as to why so many pathetically ignorant people are promoted into management positions in my little vortex of hell, and then we realized that they never seem to leave.  

We actually named off close to 30 managers in my little vortex of hell who should be demoted or fired for ignorance and stupidity alone.  

Ya…that’s right . . . THIRTY! . . . and quite pathetically we probably could have named off more if we hadn’t been so rudely interrupted by a phone call from one of the managers we had previously named.

These so-called “managers” are very much like a nagging cough or stuffy nose that keeps you awake at night . . . Actually . . .that gives the annoying cough or stuffy nose a bad rap.  

I swear my little vortex of hell is cloning or breeding these people in a some secret lab, bringing them into our facility and placing them in management or supervisory roles and then secretly watching how the rest of us react to their stupidity and lack of knowledge.  

It’s like we’re lab rats or something.  

Anyhoo…

Yesterday I had this conversation with one of the aforementioned nagging coughs…

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Computer Manager: “Sooo, what did you find out about my computer order?  Will it be delivered tomorrow?”   

Me:  “I did find out that the order is still in production and hasn’t left the facility yet.  So no, it won’t be delivered tomorrow.” 

Computer Manager:  “Soooo…I’m not going to get it tomorrow?”

Me:  “No, but it looks like it might ship over the weekend and we might see it on Monday or Tuesday of next week.” 

Computer Manager:  “But that won’t work.  I need it delivered tomorrow.” 

Me:  “I don’t have any control over the vendor or the delivery company.  All I know is that it won’t be here tomorrow.” 

Computer Manager:  “Would you please look again?  I need that shipment tomorrow.”  

Me:  “Sure, I’ll check again, but I’m confident that we’re not getting the delivery tomorrow.” 

Me: (after checking status again)…“It’s still in the production stage, so no change.  We’re not getting that shipment tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager: (in slightly agitated and bewildered tone) “Are you serious?!?!  (sighs heavily) I cannot believe that they haven’t shipped my order yet!!  What’s the hold up on their end?”  

Me:  “Again…I don’t know.  I don’t work for the vendor, but let me contact the sales rep and see if they can shed some light on this.”

Computer Manager:  “Okay.  You do that.  And tell them I NEED that order delivered tomorrow.”  

Me:  ” yeeahh…I’ll see what I can find out.”

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— — time passes as I’m waiting for an answer from the vendor — — 

— — Answer finally comes from the vendor — —

Me:  “The vendor sent me an email to let me know that the order is still in production and won’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager:  “Seriously!!??!!  I can’t have that!!  Did you tell them I MUST have it delivered tomorrow?”  

Me:  “Yes.  But seeing as the entire order is STILL in production, it can’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Computer Manager:  “That’s no good.  Give me his number.  I’ll call him myself.”  

Me:  “okay…here’s his number:  ###-###-####”  

— — time passes while I do other stuff that actually matters instead of waiting for her to contact me again — —

— — unfortunately, she contacts me again — —

Computer Manager:  “Okay…the sales rep told me that the order is still in production so it won’t be delivered tomorrow.”  

Me:  “yep.”  (color me surprised)

Computer Manager:  “what does the status “in production” even mean?  Does that mean it’s on the truck?”  

Me: (completely shocked (even though I shouldn’t have been) that question was even asked)  “Uuuhhhh…..no.”  

Computer Manager:  “Well, I need a tracking number so I know where it is, so if it’s not on a truck how do I know what the status is?”

Me:  “The vendor will provide the tracking number once the order ships, but since it’s still “IN PRODUCTION” and has NOT shipped yet, there won’t be a tracking number.”

Computer Manager:  “The vendor needs to be more specific about the status of my orders.  I can’t tell if it’s being shipped, in production or where it is.  This is so frustrating!” 

Me:  “Yes it is.”  (but I’m talking about her, not the vendor…fortunately for me, she’s too wrapped up in herself to recognize that)

Computer Manager:  “Well, stay on top of this and let me know the status once you have a tracking number.”  

Me:  “okay”

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Folks, I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried, but this is the stupid and pathetic I have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s frustrating. 

Having to be a lab rat in my little vortex of hell is pathetically exhausting.    

 

Dunderheads

A conversation took place yesterday in an office across from my desk where one of the participants stated:  

“I’m going to have to take a week’s vacation so I can cool down enough not to come across the table at those who are making the decisions in this place.”

Okay….

it wasn’t that funny…

But I found it comical considering that our office is currently filled with dunderheads in management who couldn’t manage their way out of a corn maze cut in a straight line.

One such management decision was to consolidate all the information technology teams into one big team that would eventually save money; however, no one thought about putting together a cost allocation of how much money would actually be spent or saved if the consolidation went forward.

Now, just to be clear for those of you not in the know, cost allocation is the process of identifying, aggregating, and assigning costs to cost objects.  A cost object is any activity or item for which you want to separately measure costs.  Examples of cost objects are a product, a research project, a customer, a sales region, and a department.

Based on that definition of cost allocation, the upper dunderheads of our company should have assigned a cost to the people, the equipment and the man hours it would take for human resources to reassign locations, roles and job titles for each and every employee.  

Also included in that cost allocation should have been a set time frame for how many days, weeks, months or years it would take for all the listed resources to be moved and consolidated; along with a dollar amount associated per work hour to train the employees and to update, rename and/or reassign the equipment that is being transferred between agencies or divisions.

But, to my knowledge, none of that was ever completed.  Instead, the dunderheads that be, made the decision to move forward with the consolidation and then had the nerve to tell people that they were saving money.

Quizzically, the most prestigious dunderhead has even tried to paint a pretty picture for the general public by stating to the press that this consolidation is going to save five million dollars over the next five years.  

Thaaaaaat seems like a large dollar figure, but in light of the fact that our single agency alone spends over five million in less than three months, five million dollars in five years is like standing in front of a thousand acre corn field, grabbing an ear off a stalk, raising it above your head and declaring you saved one ear and thus ended hunger for all mankind.

. . . again . . . maaaybe not as funny as I thought…

Okay…so there have been other decisions as well that many of the dunderheads have made which contribute to the scratching of heads around here, such as…

  • Changing the title of a team without telling the specific team members the title changed.  
  • Changing accounting numbers for billing purposes, but not telling those who use the accounting numbers that they changed.
  • Putting a hold on all travel and training, but then finding out in the monthly corporate letter that the upper dunderheads traveled to training seminars in July, August, September, October, November and December.  — Ooo…and they posted pictures for all of us little people to see.  
  • Being told in a mass email that there is a hold on all non-essential purchases, and then receiving a request (I work in purchasing) to buy a television for one of the upper dunderheads because they personally don’t want to use a conference room.  

And those are just off the top of my head.

The decisions that have been made in the past year along with the actions of the upper dunderheads have caused me to question whether they have any idea how pathetic they are viewed by the rest of us who work here.  

It’s disappointing that no one has the courage to stand up to these people and to hold them accountable.

Maybe my co-worker who needs a vacation will muster the courage to stand up to them? 

Yeah…no.

It’s pathetic that I don’t see that happening.

 

 

Frustrating Work Conversation

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My regular contact in our finance team is on vacation.  Here’s a quick email conversation I had with a different contact in our finance department who I have never worked with before.  

Please tell me if this would frustrate you as well?

Me:  Would you please assign the account number ### to subsidiary ###?   I need to make a request today in the system to release funds for a purchase.  

Finance:  Quick question, what are you buying that requires the account number for personal computing?   

Me:  A laptop.

Finance:  Oh.  Well, you do know we’re on a purchasing freeze?

Me:  Yes.

Finance:  Do you have a valid reason to make this purchase?  If not, you need to submit one.

Me:  No I don’t.  I only need you to assign the account number with the subsidiary so I can REQUEST the funds be released to make a purchase.

Finance:  We require a valid reason for the purchase before we can approve the funds to be released.

Me:  I’m NOT asking you to APPROVE the funds…I’m asking you to A-S-S-I-G-N the account number with the subsidiary so I can submit the request to release the funds.

Finance:  Due to the purchasing freeze we are asking that everyone please provide a valid reason for their purchase request and once reviewed the release of funds will be approved.

Me:  Nevermind.  — —  I’ll wait until my regular contact is back in the office.

Trying to deal with different people in the office can be really pathetic.

CoWorker Question

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There’s this guy in my office that I refer to as “Flapjack”.  The reason is because he sounds exactly like the cartoon character.  If you’re not familiar with the cartoon character, here’s a sample:  FLAPJACK ANNOYING LAUGH

Imagine having to listen to that all day, every day.

Okay, so now that you’re all aware of his annoying voice, this morning we all had the displeasure of having to listen to one-full-hour of Flapjack complaining about his 3D printer and how it doesn’t work properly.

That was from 8 AM to 9 AM.

Currently…since one of his “friends” wasn’t in the office until 9:15, flapjack felt it necessary to walk away from his desk so he could recite the exact same 3D printer story we all heard the first time around.

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So, I have to ask…

Is it wrong to pray for an appendicitis for one of your co-workers?

It’s pathetic having to work in the same office as Flapjack.

 

 

Windows 10 Doesn’t Like it When You Change Ownership of Folders

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I’ve been in the computer industry for a better part of 20 years and having that experience I’ve had the enjoyment of working with just about every single Windows operating system since Windows 3.1.  

With that said, I’ve never had a problem taking ownership of a folder and making changes that I want to make…that is until Windows 10 came along.  

I found out this weekend that Windows 10 doesn’t play nice when you take ownership of system folders.  Matter of fact…it just stops loading after a reboot and makes you wish you had never made the changes you made.  

Here’s what happened…

I wanted to change the Host file, but when I attempted to save the changes to the directory it gave me an error that I didn’t have permission.  So, I tried to change the permissions on the folder but I kept getting the error that I wan’t the owner and couldn’t make changes, which is totally bogus because I’m the administrator of the PC, but Windows doesn’t agree.  

Anyway, knowing that I needed to be the owner of the directory I tried to change the ownership of the folder where the host file is located and then change permissions; however that didn’t work either, so I took ownership of the parent folder and when that didn’t work, I took ownership of the C:\windows folder and propagated the ownership to all subfolders.

Word of advice…. Don’t do that.  

Once I changed the ownership of that folder, I restarted my PC and it took an hour to boot up and no matter how many times I attempted to “fix” the glitch, the reboot would take longer and longer and longer until I finally decided to shut the PC down, take the harddrive out and reformat it so I could start over with a fresh install of Windows.    

I’m really not sure why Windows 10 doesn’t see me as the Administrator of the PC, after all, I’m the only one using it and Windows 7 recognized me as the Administrator when it was installed.  

In my humble opinion, whatever Microcharmin decided to change in this OS needs to be replaced with Windows 7 functionality.  

I’m finding Windows 10 to be a rather pathetic operating system.

 

Pointy Fingers

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Ahhh, the Pointy Finger.  Cattle never seem to accept responsibility for their failures and imperfections and that’s where the pointy finger comes into play.

In that one motion we can quickly attempt to justify, objectify and rationalize the reasons behind why an event has or has not happened.  It can be ever so subtle or extremely blatant.  A quick motion or a methodical action meant to alert others of an imperfection, shortcoming or foible.  Of course, those actions to point out the many limitations are always meant towards someone other than ourselves.

It can be meant as a joke or as serious as a North Korean missile launch, but no matter the meaning behind it, the pointing of a finger can be so much fun and equally pathetic.

World leaders point fingers at other world leaders.  Men point fingers at women and women point fingers at men.  Children point fingers at parents and parents point fingers at children.  Judges point fingers at culprits, culprits point fingers at victims and victims point fingers at everyone else. 

The pointy finger has been a staple of humanity since Adam and Eve were confronted by God in the Garden; “It was the serpent…” , THIS woman that YOU gave me…”   

Ever since then people have been pointing fingers at everyone and anyone and it’s pathetic and it needs to stop.  

Quite pathetically, I took note of the fact that pointy fingers seems to be an acceptable trait of U.S. President Ba-Rock Obama, and he’s been doing it for the past eight years in office.

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His first term in office was all about pointy fingers at the previous administration.  

During his second term’s first three years it was pointy fingers at Congress…which, pathetically, I can’t disagree with…and then his last year in office has been pointy fingers at all the other nations of the world for not doing more to fix the world’s problems.  

Pathetically, it’s just more proof that he doesn’t…and probably never… understood that since World War II the U.S.A. has always taken the lead in keeping tyrants, despots, anarchists and brutal leaders around the world in check.  It has been the responsibility of the U.S.A to light a fire under those who aren’t very eager to move forward, to motivate the world to unite for the common good of humanity; consequently, Mr. Obama-mama instead likes using the pointy finger.  

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It’s easier than accepting and taking responsibility for being a failure to unite everyone and anyone towards a common goal.  Personally and quite pathetically, I believe President Obama’s legacy will be known as “The Pointy Finger President”.  

Pointy fingers aren’t the trait of a good leader because it shows a lack of responsibility, a lack of humility, a lack of knowledge; and typically those who use the pointy finger seem to forget the one subtle fact that they always have three pointy fingers pointing back at them.  

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The pointy finger.

Its use is quite pathetic and it needs to stop.  Try using the thumb instead. 

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