One Nation…

On April 1, 2017 the United States of America took drastic measures to fix their illegal immigration problem.  

This morning Donald Trump signed into law the “New World Order Act” that will allow the United States of America to be the first nation in the world to abolish their borders and recognize every human on Earth as a citizen of the United States of America whether they like it or not.  

By overwhelming congressional support the measure passed unanimously in both the House and Senate, with Hawaiian Senator, Mazie Hirono, being the only Senator to abstain because, like much of the world, she was overly consumed with a streaming video of a pregnant giraffe.  

When asked about abstaining on a measure that would likely piss off every country around the world, Senator Hirono said, “I don’t care about borders!  But I do care about expectant mothers, therefore, I believe I speak for all the birthing mothers of the world when I say, ‘April…we know what you’re going through…labor is difficult, but hang in there, girl!'”

The abrupt passing and signing of this measure into law now means that, according to the USA, sovereign countries no longer exist and every nation around the world has now become a single state within the USA.  

This also means that every single person in the world is now subject to the laws of the United States as well as all governmental oversight.  

Education, Healthcare, Welfare, Childcare, Social Security. . .all of which will now be monitored on a global scale out of Washington D.C.  

“Every person in the world will now be monitored by the Departments of Education, HHS, Homeland security, the CIA, FBI and also taxed by the IRS,” said out going White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Katie Walsh.  

While discussing her up coming vacation she also added, “and we feel this measure will provide an avenue for citizens everywhere to freely shop, travel, play, frolic, skip and hula-hoop anywhere around the world without having to worry about customs or carrying those crappy passports.”   

House Democratic minority leader, Nancy Pelosi, had this to say; “Today, the people of the world have a chance to understand what it’s like to be an American citizen. We’re now one. . .big. . .happy. . .family!!” 

However, many leaders around the world didn’t share the same opinions.  

In response to the bill passed by the United States the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov, issued this statement on behalf of his country,

“We, the Russian Federation, feel it necessary to inform the world that because of these measures taken by the United States of America We, the Russian Federation, have decided to abolish our borders and consume every nation as a part of Russian pride.  As of this very second, all the nations of the world, including the USA and all its territories, are hereby a part of the People’s Republic of the Russian Empire.  

Ironically and strangely enough, within minutes of Donald Trump signing the New World Order Act into law countries around the world began to follow suit.  All passing similar measures that removed their borders and declared every person around the world a new citizen of their very own country.  

It should be mentioned, however, that for various reasons Germany, France, Japan and Switzerland have all chosen not to make any decisions on their borders until taking time to discuss the issue in length.  

When asked whether or not he considered these other nations as a threat, POTUS Donald Trump said, “We won’t back down. We will fight and we will win, thank you!

Does my hair look okay?  No…seriously, does my hair look okay?… no?  yes?  thumbs up?  thumbs down? ….anybody? … my hair? . . . does it look good?  … … … looks good?

Okay.  Thank you.”

  

 

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Interesting Article…

dc-mcallister

I ran across this article written by Denise McAllister

Personally and let’s be clear…I am not voting for either of the two Presidential candidatesbut she brings up some very interesting points about Hillary Clintoon, Michelle O-bamama and actual sexual assault victims. 

It might be in your best interest to give it a read…

I’m A Sexual Assault Victim Who Still Supports Trump

_

 

Watch Your Language!

lewd_politicians2

The other day I over heard a few women in my workplace talking about a guy they were attracted to.  

Now, pathetically, none of them were talking about me, but they were talking about a well-known actor who they consider to be a “royal hottie“.  About which, one of the women shockingly had the nerve to say that she would…and I quote“spread her legs for that man in a minute.”  To which, the other women in the room heartily concurred and went on to explain what ELSE they would let him do to them…  

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Consequently, what I found to be royally pathetic was that directly after their conversation they began to rail on Donald Trump for the lewd and disgraceful comments he made toward women in a recently released video.  

Okay…

I have watched and listened to the video that was released where The Donald was accused of saying lewd comments about women.  

Honestly, I don’t know what he said that was so bad because I’ve heard far worse come from the mouths of women towards men they found attractive.  Note the above conversation I over heard in my workplace.

There in lies the double standard.  

It’s okay for women to openly say lewd and disgusting things about men, but not okay for men to do the same thing towards women.  

Not too mention, these two men were having a conversation between guys, and this may shock the majority of you reading this, but that’s how 99% of guys around the world communicate.

Sure, it wasn’t in the best taste ANNNND he and Billy Bush (there’s a joke there, but I’ll let it go) should have remembered they were mic’d up, but the stark reality of their conversation is that The Donald didn’t do or say anything that was any different than . . . oohh. . . .saaayyyy….former President Bill Clinton..?  

Whom, by the way, will more than likely use his status as ‘First Man’ to entice his way into a few ‘oval offices‘. . . If ya know what I mean?

michaelscott_wink

Speaking of the Billary’s….  

I’m almost certain the reason Hillary “Please shove a rod and ham up my ass” Clinton has been mute on the whole topic is because she knows the past actions of her husband will be brought to the limelight, and quite possibly more than the four or five that we know about, which would be a major ding to her dong…

or his dong…

or something to that effect.

Anyway, the sad truth is that the more negative press they give The Donald, the more you cattle are jumping on the bandwagon of hate.  

You’re all proving that the media has more control over your thoughts toward another human being than you ever considered, and you’re quick to forget just how lewd and corrupt your own thoughts and words have been towards a few select cattle grazing in another pasture.  

And Ladies…you’re not immune!  Don’t forget, I grew up with sisters and had to listen to their conversations with their friends about the boys they liked.  

Trust me…those were not conversations any impressionable young man should be subject too.  <<shivers>>   

So take a few minutes and consider the example this post was opened with, then ask yourself whether or not you’ve said something lewd about someone else…Doesn’t matter if it was in a private conversation or openly public…then consider whether or not you should judge The Donald so harshly for his words…

After all, double standards are pathetic. 

 

Nicknames

Nametag

With the eminent reorganization of my company, I have heard rumblings that Wikidork is leaving us next month.  The reason is because he’s a contract employee and severely overpaid, therefore, the company doesn’t want to continue paying his salary, so his contract is not being renewed.  

Of course, as most of you are probably aware, this news really breaks my heart (sarcasm).  However, upper mis-management has made a firm decision not to keep him on as a regular employee, so Wikidork will not be around much longer.  

boo . . . hoo.   

That being neither here nor there, I’d rather discuss a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  The topic of Nicknames.

I’ve mentioned it in a previous post that I believe nicknames are a right of passage in life.  

My sisters and I had nicknames growing up, our friends had nicknames, my brothers-in-law have nicknames (my sisters thought them worthy), heck, even my nephews and nieces have nicknames.

But I must make it abundantly clear that a nickname is not just something you randomly select.  It’s a label that indicates how others perceive you.  

A nickname can mean that one is approved or part of “the group”.  Some examples include: Pumpkin, Goldie Locks, Shorty, Dimples, Dough-boy and Love Handles. 

However, a nickname can also mean that you’re an outcast and not wanted at all.  A few examples include: Pregnancy Test, Pig Pen and Snoopy’s Little Helper.  I’d continue adding names to the list, but I think you get the point.    

Consequently, I hope from those examples you understand that giving someone a nickname can be a label of admiration and love or in other extreme cases an immature, mean-spirited attempt at slandering another person’s character.  Therefore, nicknames must follow a few guidelines to be considered appropriate, and here are five guidelines I like to follow when coming up with a nickname:  

  • It must relate to the person’s stature, character, habits, name or demeanor.  
  • A nickname must be creative. 
  • A nickname should have some kind of story behind it to explain it’s heritage.
  • The person who you give the nickname too does not need to know they have the nickname.  
  • But if they happen to find out the nickname, it’s only wise that it never be one that gives a derogatory or demeaning impression to the person who received it.

With that said, I have to say that I am actually impressed with Donald Trump’s doling out of nicknames.  After all, he’s following most of the rules above.  

An example is when he gave Elizabeth “The Wizard” Warren the nickname “Pocahontas”.  I actually thought that was clever because he then gave an explanation as to why she deserved that nickname.  I guess at some point in her life she claimed that because her cheekbones were high, she was Native American; therefore, The DONALD decided she deserved the nickname “Pocahontas”.  

Quite witty, if you ask me.

Sadly, and quite pathetically, The Wizard Pocahontas wasn’t able to come up with anything clever in reply.  Instead, she reached way back into her childhood and called The Donald a “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud.” 

Disappointed4

If you haven’t figured it out yet, calling someone a “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud” is not a nickname.  That’s just being mean and showing a lack of creative maturity.  Also, it breaks cardinal rule number five, but I’m not one to nit-pick.  

Just for future reference derogatory or demeaning name calling should be kept to yourself or within a tight inner circle.  The reason is pretty self explanatory, but because some of you aren’t all that bright, I’ll try to explain.  

Derogatory and demeaning name calling is typically meant to tear down another person.  Which isn’t very kind.  It’s typically what we did when we were twelve to get back at someone who hurt our feelings on the playground.  Therefore, when a grown man or woman starts throwing derogatory names around like hay in barnyard, it reveals a lot about that person’s character . . . or . . . lack there of.  

So, how should The Wizard Pocahontas have replied?   Great question!  And I’m so glad that you asked!  

IF….The Wizard Pocahontas would have been less pathetic in her creativity, she would have gathered her little tribe of followers together and asked them to come up with a list of cleverly chosen nicknames for the “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud” that didn’t make her look like a little child pouting on the playground.

Nicknames such as,  “Captain Bankruptcy”, “DDT”, “Dead-eye Donald”, “Truancy Trump” or “Slumpy Trumpy” would have worked just fine, but sadly, our little Wizard Pocahontas stepped in front of an open microphone and blurted out…“nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud!”

Obviously our dear Wizard Pocahontas missed a great opportunity to show the world her creative side.   

…sigh…

It is so pathetic when people who think themselves to be creative and intelligent can’t come up with a creative nickname.