Increasing Doubt with a Lack of Faith and Hope

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

Matthew 7:7-8 – NASB

I’ve become a little hard pressed to believe that God will ever answer my prayers the way I would hope.  

I’m not saying I don’t pray or that I’ve lost my belief in God.  I do pray, and I do believe in God, but what I’m saying is that God has put so many stipulations on prayer that I’m not sure that God will answer my requests the way I hope because when I pray, I don’t meet the stipulations that He set for when we pray. 

Here are some of the stipulations that I’m talking about…

  1. Pray and Agree with any two or more people (Matthew 18:19)
  2. Pray without ceasing (I Thes. 5:17)
  3. Ask in the Name of Jesus (John 14:13)
  4. Ask in faith and don’t doubt (James 1:6)
  5. Believe you already have what you ask for before you even ask (Mark 11:24)
  6. Ask in the Father’s will (I John 5:14-15)
  7. Believe that God exists and that He rewards those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6)
  8. Be devoted to prayer with an attitude of thankfulness (Col. 4:2)
  9. Pray as Jesus taught His disciples (Matt 6:9-13)
  10. Always give thanks to the Father through Jesus (Col. 3:17)
  11. Don’t be like the hypocrites who pray out in the open (Matt 6:5)
  12. Go into your inner room, close your door, pray in secret to the Father who is in secret  (Matt 6:6)

I didn’t list those in any particular order, just listed off at random as they came to mind, but they are stipulations God has placed on how we make requests to Him and whether or not those requests will be answered. 

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that God will never answer prayers…Far from it.  He does answer prayers, but what I am saying is that I don’t know if He’ll ever answer mine because I’ve failed to meet the stipulations He’s set for my prayers to be answered.  

More importantly, I doubt that God will answer me because of a sincere lack of faith and thankfulness based on past experiences and past requests that never got answered over the years.  

(Yeah… yeah… yeah…’don’t live in the past’…blah, blah, blah… Preaching to the choir, people!) 

But seriously, I always thought and believed that my past prayers were made in faith, in the name of Jesus, with others who were like-minded, with an attitude of thanksgiving in my heart and a hope that God would answer in the affirmative; consequently, God saw fit to have me sit back and watch while He gave what I requested for myself to other people.  Therefore, my prayers didn’t get answered as I had hoped. 

Am I admitting my selfishness and pride here?  I suppose I am.  Which leads to one more reason that God didn’t answer my prayers the way I had hoped.  After all, God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6). 

Was I deserving of those things I requested?  — Maybe.  Maybe not. — I won’t know the answer until I come face to face with God, and even then He probably won’t tell me because at that point…it won’t matter.  

However, that hasn’t stopped me from developing excuses and rationalizations as to ‘why’ God won’t or hasn’t answered my prayers the way I had hoped. 

Excuses such as: “Maybe I wasn’t ready to receive the gift…”, “Maybe it was because of sin…”, “Maybe I didn’t deserve something that wonderful…”, “Maybe I’m not worthy…”, “Maybe God’s got something better…” , “Maybe my motives are incorrect…”, “Maybe there isn’t anything better…” or “Maybe all of the above…??”  

All of these excuses have set in motion a downward spiral of introspection which has ultimately led to self-judging, self-loathing and self-condemnation.  All of which have slowly encased my heart in a shell of petrified callousness and led me to a sincere distrust of whether or not the almighty will ever answer my prayers in the manner of which I hope. 

Truth be told… I have a broken heart.

Ironically, even though my prayers haven’t been answered the way I hoped, I still pray and make requests to God all the time.  

I’m constantly pouring out my feelings and desires to Him while requesting things with a sincere belief in the power of Jesus Christ that God will answer me; however, when I pray, the doubt remains that God will never grant my request in the manner in which I hope.  

Therefore, thankfulness is a distant memory, and any faith that might have assisted in my prayers being answered is lacking a solid foundation.  

Please know that I do believe that God exists . . . I do . . . but quite frankly I’m not confident He really does reward all those who seek Him.

I know I’m not alone.  There are many in this world who have the same doubts about their prayers ever being answered or whether God will ever bless them again.  

Heck, even the prophets in the old testament were given over to wonder if God was hearing them or if they would ever be answered.  Some even felt deceived by God.

Look at the words of Job (13:24-28):

“Why do You hide Your face and consider me Your enemy?  Will You cause a driven leaf to tremble?  Or will You pursue the dry chaff?

“For You write bitter things against me and make me to inherit the iniquities of my youth.  You put my feet in the stocks and watch all my paths; You set a limit for the soles of my feet, while I am decaying like a rotten thing, like a garment that is moth-eaten.”

And then Jeremiah, a prophet of God’s very own choosing, writes:

“Why has my pain been perpetual and my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?  Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream with water that is unreliable?” (Jeremiah 15:18)

O Lord, You have deceived me and I was deceived; You have overcome me and prevailed.  I have become a laughingstock all day long; Everyone mocks me.  For each time I speak, I cry aloud; I proclaim violence and destruction, because for me the word of the Lord has resulted In reproach and derision all day long.”  (Jeremiah 20:7-8)

Both prophets went through a period of time where they struggled to believe that God was listening to their requests or that He would answer their requests the way they hoped. 

Jeremiah and Job were dedicated servants of God and they humbly performed every task that God asked of them, yet there was a time in their lives they both struggled with doubt and thought that God had pulled the proverbial rug out from under their feet.

Interestingly, both of these men provide a great example of how doubting God can lead to anguish and self-depreciation.  The struggles both men had with doubt cause each of them to curse the day he was born (read Job 3 & Jeremiah 20:14-18).

My point here is that every human being, even those who were specifically appointed by the LORD Jesus and God the Father, can and will doubt that God will answer their prayers they way they were hoping.

As for my situation, I began having doubts that my prayers to the Almighty God of Heaven and Earth have never gone further than the ceiling of my home after decades of the same failures.  And…If by some strange miracle the words I directed towards God did reach Heaven’s doorstep, I fear those words never made it past His threshold!

From a very young age I’ve attempted to live a life that follows the narrow path.  I found the words of God, and I ate them; and they became for me a joy and delight of my heart.  I believed that I was called by God’s holy name and His eternal word into an eternal hope of salvation through the LORD Jesus Christ.  Therefore, I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers, nor did I show or feel elation or jubilation as the result of any success I may have experienced.  

I’ve tried to rejoice with others in their successes.  I’ve tried to mourn and encourage those in their failures and losses.  And yet…because of God’s hand upon me, I sit alone.  Filled with the contempt, anger and annoyance provoked by what I perceive as unfair treatment from others in this world.

I’ve asked God why my perpetual pain never ends.  Why the internal wound is incurable, refusing to be healed. 

I wonder and ask God if He has deceived me by providing hope to promises that would never come to pass, but He remains silent on the matter.

Yet…once again…like a trained animal who knows and fears his master, I bow my head…I bend my knee…I lay myself prostrate before the throne of the Almighty God of Heaven and Earth, and I open my mouth once more to make a simple request of God with hope that He might hear me and answer me with blessings of good things.

I wait longingly and patiently for His reply.  Hoping that the answer will finally melt my hardened, callous heart and sorrow would be replaced with joy and gladness.

I don’t know if any of you can understand just how agonizing the thirst for God to answer my prayer really is.  

In all honesty I long for God to dip His finger in water and just touch the tip of my tongue to quench the thirst my desires bring.  To give me a sign that He hears me.  That He accepts me and that my requests are a fragrant aroma, not filled with putrefaction which cause Him to turn His face away and reject me.  

To let me know that He delights in me, and my heartfelt requests aren’t falling on deaf ears.

But I’m reminded of the words of Job…

“But the falling mountain crumbles away, and the rock moves from its place.

Water wears away stones, its torrents wash away the dust of the earth; so You destroy man’s hope. 

You forever overpower him and he departs.

You change his appearance and send him away.  

His sons achieve honor, but he does not know it; or they become insignificant, but he does not perceive it.  

But his body pains him, and he mourns only for himself.”  (Job 14:18-22)

That quote is one of the best explanations of how man’s hope can erode over time by the many tribulations that engulf us.  Tribulations that can change our focus and cause our thoughts, our attentions and our prayers to become more self-centered and less altruistic. 

In those difficult moments we take our sights off the finish line and the rewards to come.  We lose sight of the truth.  We stop running the race.  We forget who God is. 

We forget His mercies never fail. 

We forget He’s never stopped loving us. 

We forget that God’s best is not the same as what we perceive as the best for ourselves. 

We forget that He’s never walked away from us. 

We forget how to be thankful in all things. 

We forget how to be content.

It’s pathetic that after all that I still don’t know if God will ever delight in me enough to answer my prayers the way I hope He will.  

I guess I’ll pray about it.





A weird adjective but with a strong meaning.  — “full of… characterized by… or showing presumption or readiness to presume in conduct or thought, as by saying or doing something without right or permission.”

No one is immune to this.  We all want to be recognized.  We all want to have notoriety, so we cattle spend so much time living in pride and arrogance thinking…presuming… we were “called“, then we form arguments to justify our actions or words.  More often than not, that justification is based on our own selfishness.  

We want, but we don’t have…so we take by force to possess because we believe strongly that we deserve.  However, that “deserving” belief is one that leads to contempt and strife because the one who was truly deserving is now without and the one who now possesses is filled with unexplained regret.

Moreover, to minimize the feeling of regret the one who now possesses justifies their actions by declaring they are deserving; but in declaring their deserving spirit hasn’t the one who now possesses become a judge over those who no longer possess?

This pride and arrogance…at it’s core is greed, hostility, contempt for others.  It is selfishness.  

So bold.  So confident in our own beliefs.  Thinking we are highly esteemed.  Overstepping boundaries.  Speaking out when you weren’t given permission.  You’ve been warned that such attitudes have been condemned…

If a man acts presumptuously toward his neighbor, so as to kill him craftily, you are to take him even from My altar, that he may die.” – Exodus 21:14

The man who acts presumptuously by not listening to the priest who stands there to serve the Lord your God, nor to the judge, that man shall die; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” – Deut 17:12

But the prophet who speaks a word presumptuously in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die.” – Deut 18:20

How many have presumed their actions of harm towards another were justified?  Or that their words are meant to be spoken because they had a “feeling of being “called” to speak or write a book“?   How many have acted boldly or spoke with liberty that was not theirs to possess?  Who took the reigns of a runaway cart where the horse was left behind?

Do they not possess a behavior that is perceived as arrogant, disrespectful, and transgressing the limits of what is permitted or appropriate by a Holy and Righteous God, yet they continue each day paying no regard to the truth.  Living a presumptuous life of decay and immorality.  

Disobeying willfully, and out of arrogance and pride they justify their disobedience with no regard to the fatality of their words and actions towards their own soul.  

If only we all would pray as David… “Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me.  Then I will be blameless, and I shall be acquitted of great transgression.” 

Oh to be acquitted of great transgression and to live a blameless life!!   What joys would be experienced.  What love would be shared among all humanity.  What anxiety, fears and regrets would be abolished!!  What thanks humans would have from the cleansing of their conscience!!  What humility would come from the renewing of the minds and heart!! 

May the God of Heaven and Earth, the Father of our Lord Jesus protect each of you today from presumptuous sins.  








Secularization, Pluralization, Privatization – Part 2

“The moment you open your mouth to contradict the law of non-contradiction, you’re actually affirming it!”

– Ravi Zacharis

Note:  I do not own the rights to this video.  Please contact if you have questions about this video or the subject therein.

Secularization, Pluralization, Privatization

“Secularization leads to loss of shame. Pluralization leads to loss of reason. Privatization leads to loss of meaning.”

– Ravi Zacharias

Note:  I do not own the rights to this video.  Please contact if you have questions about this video or the subject therein.


Ethics. Does the Law Change When a Natural Disaster Occurs?


It’s two o’clock in the morning.  You’re sitting at a red light.  

There is no one else at the intersection.

If you decide to run the red light, did you break the law?  

Now, let’s change that up…

You live in a flooded city.  Your power is out, you have no food, you’re wet and hungry.

The city is being evacuated, but you don’t know how long it will be before they reach you.

You see a grocery store nearby and decide to wade over.  When you reach the entrance of the store you find out it’s locked.

No one else is around.  It’s just you.

If you break a window and steal food from the store, did you break the law?    


ABC news correspondent, Tom Llamas, and a group of police officers were patrolling an area in Houston when they came across a possible deceased person in the water.

At the very same time Tom also spotted a group of people looting a nearby store and made the decision to inform the police who were with him.  

The authorities called in the Coast Guard who then proceeded to disperse the people and made sure there wasn’t any further looting.  

Tom posted the event on twitter.

And the bullying began.

The bullying Twits didn’t take too kindly to Tom’s actions and vilified him for pointing out people who were breaking the law because they claimed those people had the right to loot because they were hungry or in need and Tom should have turned a blind eye.

The Twits called him names and chastised him for doing the ethical thing.

I find it odd how a group of wannabe’s in our society are under the strange impression that when a natural disaster occurs, the law somehow changes or becomes obsolete; therefore, they believe and rationalize that people have the right to loot, steal, rape, pillage, destroy and murder as long as they do it under the pretense that they are “in need“. 

I wonder if the Twits would still approve of the looting if a natural disaster happened in their town or city and people they didn’t know began looting from their homes and businesses?

After all…according to the bullying Twits, if a natural disaster occurs, that means the law changes and looting is okay as long as people are “in need”

Consequently, a natural disaster does NOT change the law, nor does sitting alone at a red light at two in the morning, nor does your social upbringing or monetary circumstances.  

I don’t care if you don’t agree.  

The law never changes for your convenience or needs because it’s there to protect you from yourself.  

YOU SHALL NOT” has never changed and it never will no matter how people try to rationalize it.   

Therefore, what Tom did by pointing out the looters to law enforcement was the correct thing to do.  It was the moral thing to do.  It was the ethical thing to do.  And I commend him for it!

We need more people like Tom Llamas in the world.  


People who try to rationalize immoral, law-breaking behavior while vilifying those who don’t are pathetic. 




A message


Wounds of the wounded are never to heal.  They are spent days, mostly in anguish and lost in translation to their maker. 

You live your life as that of a harlot.  Spreading your legs for all men to view your nakedness.  To have their way with you at every turn.  

You drink strong wine and alcohol to numb the pain of your ways, hoping that the drug of choice will finally bring an end to your regret and sorrows.  

Yet, it does nothing but cause more sadness.  

Your actions are those of a harlot.  One who spends her days enticing the naive and feeble minded, attempting to find joy when there is none to obtain.  

Like a wailing Jackal in the wilderness who has lost her young, your desires are not fulfilled.  

I have set a Standard in the high places.  One on whom you can look and be fulfilled, but instead, you spend your wasted days looking to the fields which cannot fulfill; looking to the weeds which cannot produce fruit.  

Turn to the Lord, the God of Heaven, and He will give you the rest you seek, but your head will not turn, your eye will not move.  

Look to the One who’s mercy and love will never end, but your eye has found another lover and your heart has lost its way. 

You!  The harlot of your people.  You seek to raise children and offspring who will worship God, but in spite of all your work, you only raise up more harlots among your family.  

Your children are harlots of harlotry!  Cursed among the people and left to their own desires.  

They are far worse than you as they have no one to guide them for the blind guides which I have not sent, lead them down the wide road of destruction.  

Their mouth is filled with indecency.  They are not chaste.  They have not learned righteousness or how to be holy as I AM.  

They stretch out their hands to the wicked and beg for unrighteousness.  Their plea to those who can never bring justice is futile.  

The wickedness of their hearts is against Me, says the Lord of Heaven and Earth.  

How would you want me to answer you?  How would you desire that I set you free from this bondage?  

Have I not provided a way in which to release you?  Have I not been open and truthful about My plans and purposes?  

I gave you a key to freedom and what did you do?  How did you react?  

I provide a way of escape and what was your decision?

You blame Me for your faults and your lack of fair judgement, but am I not the one who is innocent in this matter?  Haven’t I answered you in the past and given you freedom?  

Yet, you rejected My free gift. You spit in My face. You mocked Me.  I set you free and you cursed Me.  

You did not want My abundance.  You did not want Me to be your savior.  

Because of your pride and arrogance, you looked to the stars to save you.  You looked to men, who cannot save, because they have muscles and pretty eyes, a flashy smile.  

Have I not told you that this life is not for the swift of foot, nor is it for the strong or self-willed?  Have I not informed you that horses and chariots will never save you in a time of battle?  

Many days have gone by and My patience is wearing thin with this obstinate people.  

I will not contend with you forever.

You have prostituted yourself to other gods which are not gods at all, and your children have followed in your footsteps.  They too have become harlots just as their parents before them, yet they are worse.

How should I deal with your disobedience?  Should I not judge you with righteous judgement?  

Should I, the Lord of all creation, not have the right to lift My hand against you for your disobedience?  

Tell Me.  

State your case that it may fall on My ears so I can hear your rationale.  

If I did not let My people, Israel, go free from their iniquity which they committed against Me, then why should I let you go free?  

The days are coming, declares the Lord of hosts, that I will judge the whole earth for its deeds.  The great and small will stand before the judgement seat of My calling and I will either be their end, or I will be their life.

Choose wisely, oh sheep.  

Make haste to wash yourselves in the pool of my radiance, for I can make you clean.  I can wash away every stain from your soul.  

Your name will be changed to a righteous name if you would only look to me and turn from your wickedness.  

I Am the Lord.  The Son of the Living God.  The One who is and who is to come.  

My name is Holy.  

Be holy, for I Am Holy!