Pathetic Promotionals

promotion

I gotta tell ya, I’m really sick and tired of listening to christian radio or watching christian television broadcasts and having 15 minute sermonettes with 15 minute smatterings of book/travel/CD/video promotions.

I remember when christian radio programs were about bible teaching and how to live your life as a dedicated follower of the LORD Jesus, not promotional mediums to sell some fluff-n-stuff that a long-winded pastor wrote while taking an extended vacation to the Holy Land with their devoted supporters.

((insert theme music here…and fade out to promotional voice over….))

We’ll get back to the blog post, ‘Pathetic Promotionals’, in just a minute; but first we’d like to take a minute to inform our readers of a great opportunity.

For a small donation we’ll send you the book about The Book that explains The Book in a way that no other book could ever explain The Book.  It’s called, “The Book, and how it makes your life better.”

If you call now and donate $30 or more, you can have the book titled, “The Book, and how it makes your life better”, as a free gift just for donating $30 or more to our cause.

Operators are standing by. 

Now, let’s get back to more of our blog post, “Pathetic Promotionals.”  

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Radio has been around for many years and with it, the introduction of marketing and promotions.  However, since the introduction of television and the internet, pastors and churches are able to reach more homes in less time.  This has resulted in pastors hiring marketeers who now use as much pathetic mainstream media to promote the many works of the person behind the pulpit as well as other frivolous items they deem ethical enough to show the world how ‘devoted’ a person is to the LORD Jesus.  

Marketing ploys have become more elaborate and devious in recent years.  This is done to entice a broader audience into buying something that is pathetically worthless in value, but since preaching is now a place of great profit for the highly educated pastor, it’s a great place to sell goods and services or to promote a creation that will never actually prove to the world how ‘godly’ a person really is.   

Quite pathetically, those in the marketing business know how to manipulate the masses of cattle who tend to be really good followers.  They cloak their messages around churchian phrases that are misleading to the unsuspecting.

Pathetically, the church has become a place for self-promotion, self-glorification, self-approval and self-satisfaction.

((insert theme music here…and fade out to promotional voice over….))

Wow.  What a great message about Pathetic Promotionals.  If we really take to heart what’s been said here, I really believe we can learn how to watch and listen for the schemes of the pathetic promotions.   

Yes, we sure can!  And once again, we’d like to take a minute to remind our readers about the uplifting book titled, “The Book, and how it makes your life better.”  We’re so positive that after reading it you’ll want to share it with friends and family so they too can benefit from the extreme life changes this book will bring to their lives and yours.  

This book titled, “The Book, and how it makes your life better” will help alter your thoughts and emotions about The Book in a way that no other book could ever do.

And all it takes to get your hands on this book titled, “The Book, and how it makes your life better” is to call now and offer a small donation of $30 or more to our cause.

Please call now.  Operators are standing by to take your donations by cash, check or even a major credit card and once processed, we’ll be sure to send you a free copy of the book titled, “The Book, and how it makes your life better” as a free gift for being such devoted partners and supporters of our cause.

Oh! and be sure to ask the operator about our new prayer shoestring.  It’s a valuable resource that will help you bow before the Lord in prayer every morning while tying your shoes.  

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PUH – THA – TIC!!!! 

Have we forgotten the words of the LORD Jesus?  Have we become so dull in our hearing, dull in our learning, dull in our service to the God of Heaven that we don’t know when we’re being duped or misled?

As Jesus was quoted in Mark 11:17 saying:  “And He began to teach and say to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations’? But you have made it a robbersden.”

Or when the LORD Jesus spoke these words to Isaiah the prophet: “Even those I will bring to My holy mountain And make them joyful in My house of prayer.  Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be acceptable on My altar; For My house will be called a house of prayer for all the peoples. – Isaiah 56:7

By marketing the books and plates and clothes and trips, the house God that was built to be a house of PRAYER has been converted by humans to be a robber’s den!  

A den of thieves!!!!

Sadly, the people of this world have fallen away to serve another God that is not the God of Heaven.  They serve want and gluttony, pride and arrogance, hopelessness and despair, but they do so to their own folly“…and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. (Heb. 5:11)”

How utterly disappointing that the church has become so very, very commercialized that they have resorted to pathetic promotions and turned the house of God…a house of PRAYER…into a robber’s den.  

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“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  – Joshua 24:15

 

 

 

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Amazon.com Weirdness

Amazon

Some of you may remember that I published a post back in July 2015 revealing a few pathetic items being sold on Amazon.com.  For those of you who don’t remember you can read the post HERE.

Now that we’re all on the same page most cattle know that Amazon.com uses algorithms to provide a snapshot of what consumers typically buy on their site.  From those algorithms Amazon will compile a list of data and then provide returning consumers with options of what they might be interested in purchasing.  They also use these algorithms to provide shoppers with the idea that “customers who bought this item also bought” something else.

Interestingly, and quite pathetically, those results can sometimes be flawed, skewed or just plain wrong. 

That being said, here are a few that I’ve found over the past couple of months, and I should mention that these screen shots are ‘as is’.  I have not altered these images in any way.  Amazon’s algorithms just don’t work very well sometimes…or maybe they work a little too well…

Anyway…here they are: 

  • Fertilizer and …. ?

combined items VI <–click image to enlarge

Every time I go shopping for fertilizer I tend to purchase Christmas ribbon.  It just seems like the perfect combination and it’s never too early or late in the year to buy either one.

  • Technology and  …. ?

combined items VII <–click image to enlarge

How many of you have bought computer components and a new form-fitting dress at the same time?

Yeahhh…I’m thinking No – One – Ever.

  • Halloween costumes and …. ?

combined items V <–click image to enlarge

I can see a whole new marketing campaign with this one.  “Playtex.  The perfect accessory for any Halloween costume.”

okay…maybe not.

  • Batteries and …. ?

combined items IX <–click image to enlarge

This one I understand because I was shopping for batteries, but . . . ummmm . . . .  no… just… no.

  • Novelty stuff, Silly Putty, Slime and …. ?

combined items VIII <–click image to enlarge

Why in the world would Amazon think that people like to purchase a scary Spiderman Venom mask along with Silly Putty or Slime?  They have nothing to do with each other…

Okay, well, maybe that’s not entirely true.  

Venom was created because of a substance that attaches itself to a host; but I wouldn’t call it slimy, more like sticky or gooey.  I don’t know…either way, it’s just not something I would purchase along with Silly Putty, Slime or those sticky stretch handsey things.

Also, it’s scary as hell.

Gotta say, Amazon’s algorithms produce results that can be a bit pathetic. 

 

 

 

Headlines

headline

I’m feeling a bit snarky today and have managed to insult quite a few people in the  few hours that I’ve been upright, Soooooo…to continue my onslaught of pathetic disparaging comments I’ve decided to post this post.    

With that said, I’ve compiled a short list of pathetic news headlines that I found while browsing the internets (yes, I said ‘internetS‘.  Get over it!)  

I don’t know if you’ll find them to be as pathetic as I did, but that doesn’t really matter because it’s my blog and I post what I want; and since I feel snarky today, you’re going to have to deal with my weird, wacky, pathetic sense of humor…

1

I find it pathetic that the writer of this headline actually thinks the internet has a mind of its own, or that an artificial intelligence . . . (with no feelings of its own, mind you) . . . would lose its mind over a woman not wearing a bra, since there are hundreds of thousands of pictures and videos of women on said internets not wearing a bra. – Pathetic!

2

After seeing this headline I thought to myself, “I guess there’s a positive reason for Plastic Spoons Guy to eat potato chips at his desk.”

Okay, not really.

The fact that this woman found a cancerous tumor while eating a “daily dose” of potato chips was rather extraordinary. . .and pathetic, because who readily admits to eating a daily dose of potato chips?

And how does she know the “daily dose” of potato chips didn’t create the tumor in the first place?

3

Two things I’d like to point out about how pathetic this headline is:  First, it’s about Donald Trump.  Second, the misuse of quotations around the words “bring back”.

They aren’t needed in this Headline.

Okay, that and the fact that the headline eludes to Donald thinking that Joe Paterno could possibly be raised from the dead was pretty pathetic as well.

4

Speaking of the misuse of quotations in headlines…

It seems that the writers in this pathetic day and age like to use quotations quite a bit.

The above headline obviously reveals how the writer was able to draw upon their inner Dr. Evil to use quotations around “back to life” and “huge swarm of bees”.

But why?

They aren’t needed.

As a reader, I see the words “Back to Life” and “Huge Swarm of Bees” surrounded by quotations and I immediately think these phrases are either euphemisms. . . (for those of you less educated in the herd, that means a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing) . . .or sarcasm.

So this begs me to ask, what other terms would be considered too harsh or blunt that they had to be replaced with “back to life” and “Huge swarm of bees“?  Also, if it were meant as sarcasm, it’s pretty pathetic to mock or convey contempt at a possible loss of life.

Either way, the improper use of quotes in the above headline is just pathetic.

5

I didn’t think the headline was pathetic. However, I did want to point out that after observing the picture we can obviously see that a steady diet of pond water and plants can really mess with your eyes.

6

Umm…I found this pathetic headline and decided not to read the article because I already know the answer…

 . . . If the Navy shot down the Russian fighter jets, it would have been just as bad as the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

(For those of you cattle who aren’t into history, that assassination led to World War I.)

7

I believe that island is referred to as: ‘The United States of America’.

And last but not least….

8

I don’t know if Stephen Hawking has looked in the mirror lately, but I think we’ve already found alien life.  Intelligent?  That’s another post for another day.

I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again…there’s pathetic everywhere, you just have to look for it. . . Ooorrrrr you can just make it up as you go. 

New Job and 50’s Short Films

 

I haven’t been on here much in the past few days and that’s because I started a new job Monday and my focus has been on that.  When I get home, my brain is fried and I just can’t write anything, which is pathetic in and of itself.

However, I thought I would share these links with you of 1950’s short films that teach people how to be good little followers.

These are all on youtube.com so if the links don’t work, just copy and paste them into your address bar.  Most are 8 min shorts but some are longer.

 

How to say no.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtQ-cUVEOQY

Going Steady?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRF-nB8xJLI

Young Man’s Fancy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uMLVRWwEg8

Snap Out of It!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKxBKfRph_g

Self Conscious Guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUp9s3DCDZY

Are you popular?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tifJ5DH9jQ

Arranging a Buffet Supper

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBPCKIf9d_I

Marriage Today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Amy0IuBFIQ

Boy With a Knife

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZSfmEikL4k

Labor and Childbirth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZMSucn2sTM

I want to be a Secretary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsbK4EA_SDg

Let’s Make a Sandwich

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjmANi13WA0

Easy Does It, Ladies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kXcANc7FZQ

Is this love?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhzX9B1xm7s

Jealousy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh-vZfASf-M

Who’s Right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVyWUzcQ7hk

Who’s Boss?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-n__D2qYO8

Choosing For Happiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9kUnUmr6nA

How to Spot a Communist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkYl_AH-qyk

Hipsters & Your young adult: A deadly Combination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fEb8-zV2qU

 

 

CON-fidence

 confidence

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.  It’s positivity with or without reinforcement.  A belief that you will succeed in the midst of unknown variables.  And sometimes, it’s just downright stupidity during the most agonizing and perilous of times.

In it’s simplest of forms confidence is faith.

But the other day while watching a John Wayne movie, I was puzzled when I saw three straight commercials that alluded to the notion that people won’t have confidence unless they have the right apparel or figure.

The first one said I needed the correct frames for my glasses.

I don’t wear glasses, and even if I did, I don’t think the frames would really give me all that much confidence.  Unless they were the exact frames that Superman wears while masquerading as Clark Kent.  Those would give me a ton of confidence but it would be pathetic confidence because everyone knows that Clark Kent doesn’t have any super powers.

The next commercial informed me that I needed to wear the correct bra to have confidence.

support braNow that’s just plain silly.  For starters I don’t wear a bra and if I did, would an undergarment really provide the confidence I need to walk into a burning building and rescue a family of six along with their three cats, two dogs and a flock of homing pigeons?  I think not.

The third commercial informed me that I would possess a lot more confidence if I reduced my overall body weight and had a more fit and trim appearance.

Believe me, I’ve had a fit and trim body for a number of years.  I lifted weights every day for the better part of my life and a couple years ago I ran 15 – 30 miles a week.  But I’ve also struggled in the distant past with being overweight and quite honestly, I was more confident when I was overweight than I am now.

But according to the commercials I need to be a combination of Flash Gordon and the Incredible Hulk.  In other words, fast and sleek with a muscular build, and that just seems like an oxymoron.

flash1So, if I listen to television commercials based on those three criteria alone, I’d have to wear glasses like Clark Kent, have the physique like the Incredible Hulk, run like Flash Gordon and wear a bra that gives me the added support a regular bra doesn’t to finally obtain the confidence I need to get out of bed in the morning.

How Pathetic is that?

Truth is none of us need any of that stuff to have confidence.  All we need are a few successes in life. 

It’s about taking a chance and not looking back when and if you fail, but seeing the rewards at the end and keeping a clear focus on what you desire to obtain.  It’s about perseverance through adversity.  Being able to gather all your strength and believing that even if you do fail, you’ll be still be alive to give it one more try.  

It’s amazing how a cheering section and just one or two victories in life can boost our self confidence even when things look bleak and formidable.

Television commercials give a false or misleading idea of what confidence really is.  It’s a con, and that’s just pathetic. 

However, it can’t hurt to have a pair of those Clark Kent frames.

 

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