The other day I happened to read a pathetic post about what men should do if they want to impress a girl they find attractive.
The post contained things like…“be honest”, “show her you have a skill”, “make her laugh”, “be confident”, “show her that you’re able to protect, but don’t be domineering and possessive about it”…all of which is convenient for the pathetic, lonely guy who still lives in this mother’s basement, but for all the other pathetic men in the world. . .
Not so much!
The truth is, as I was reading the post, I became more and more agitated because the post made it sound as if men — being the lumps of coal they are — are in no way deserving of a pretty girl to be on his arm unless he can prove he’s worthy.
It reminded me of those old fairy tales where the main character has to validate his existence and substantiate his might for the beautiful princess by trudging his way through a dangerously dark forest, across a vastly arid desert, galumphing up the side of a very steep mountain only to come face-to-face with a pathetically mighty dragon who breathes excruciatingly hot fire.
And as I thought more about it, I felt compelled to ask a few questions. . . .
Why are men expected to do this? Let alone…why do men feel the need to do this?
Also, why is it that men should have to impress any woman?
And in reality, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t the female gender have to impress the men?
I mean, in all honesty we men would like to know what characteristics or traits a woman can provide to a relationship that would convince us that we should choose her and not someone else?
After all, nowadays we men…(me, personally)…bring a hell of a lot to a relationship, and if you don’t believe me, here’s a list (please note that these are traits and characteristics that I possess, so not all men can provide these same traits because all men are not really created equal):
I know how to cook and bake and follow a recipe.
I bathe every day and try not to smell funny.
I’m clean and organized.
I have proper oral hygiene.
I’m financially responsible, and save money.
I have a good, steady job.
I’m college educated.
I don’t drink alcoholic beverages.
I don’t and never have done illegal drugs.
I don’t lie or cheat.
I don’t gamble.
I don’t have tattoos or piercings.
I have a relationship with Jesus, and He IS my LORD and KING.
I pray and communicate with Him and God the Father every day.
I know how to work on automobiles.
I know how to fish and camp.
I do my best to be respectful and considerate of others around me.
I can plant and tend a garden.
I have never had sex…yes, I’ve fooled around, but never done the actual deed, so I don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases or illegitimate children.
I know how to hang drywall.
I can work on plumbing and electrical.
I’ve never cheated on anyone I’ve dated and never will.
I’m a patient person who has the will-power to resist the things I know aren’t beneficial to a healthy, productive life.
I can rebuild a computer from individual parts to a fully functional operational device.
I have a decent singing voice.
I’m good with kids, I like them and they seem to like me and I’m not afraid to discipline when needed.
I clear the table and wash the dishes by hand or load the dish washer when needed.
I spend time with my family, especially my mom and dad who don’t get out much these days because of a physical illness.
I have compassion for others.
I open doors for women, walk closest to the curb when needed and provide a safe environment for them.
And I try my best to stand up for those who don’t have a voice.
There are many other traits I bring to a relationship, but these are just a few that came to mind. So … again …I pose the question. . .What makes a woman think she’s good enough that I should choose her?
Can she provide safety and comfort to our children? Is she compassionate, kind and loving? Can she change a flat tire on her own? Does she mind getting a little dirty? Would she be willing to trudge through a dark, scary forest to save me if I were captured by an evil, fire-breathing dragon?
Truth is, we should never have to try to impress anyone. We should just be happy that someone wants to spend time with us and that we get to spend time with them. While doing so, we should get to know them so well that we can finish their sentences and know how to meet there needs before they even ask because that’s what love really is. . .
Spending time with people and learning about them, getting to know them, building trust with them and in them, caring for them, providing for and meeting their needs.
It’s pathetic that we try so hard to impress others to get their attention or make them like us. After all, we’re just human beings who are all in this life together.