I am NOT a “christian”


Pessimist_optimist_realist

That blog title may shock many of you, but it’s the truth.    

I don’t follow the same standards that so many of the so-called christians follow, so I’m not a ‘christian’.  

For example, I don’t go to church.  I don’t read my bible every single day.  I do pray, but not for safety, wellness, security, wealth or happiness.  

I actually pray for the rapid demise of our civilized society because the sooner the apostasy happens, the sooner the beasts will appear…the sooner the beasts appear, the sooner the LORD Jesus Christ will come back, and I’m looking forward to that day mostly because that’s the day He will separate the sheep from the goats and send the goats to hell and the sheep to eternal glory with He and His Father.    

Therefore, I don’t tell “everyone” I know about Jesus, only a select few who the Holy Spirit leads me to share the truth with.  

I cuss.  I’m angry.  I’m frustrated with the world in general and all it’s unsavory, unethical, unrighteous, unloving, contemptible hatred towards the existence of God and my LORD Jesus and all those who actually worship in Spirit and in truth.  

I enjoy blaming everyone around me for my lack of success, mostly because I’m a people-pleaser . . . a push-over . . . and I happen to think that others deserve more than I do; so if it weren’t for all the pathetic, worthless, arrogant, prideful, joy-sucking, leeches in this world, my life would be pretty great!   

Oh, did I happen to mention that I’m a hypocrite?  

I’m as judgmental as they come, and I enjoy being judgmental.  I enjoy it, because it makes me feel good.  

In a weird and very pathetic way, being judgmental makes me feel superior.  Almost like I’m floating on air.  Cloud nine, if you will.  

I don’t feel shame, sadness, regret or any kind of sympathy or compassion towards the cattle in need or who experience loss, no matter how great or small it may be.  

I don’t go on mission trips.  I don’t offer my assistance to serve.  I don’t trust anyone and I never will. 

I don’t sing bawdy songs that repeat verses and chorus’ over and over and over again.  I don’t believe in having a seance and then referring to it as “worship”.  

I don’t listen to sermons on the radio or watch the tele-spouting evangelists, nor do I bother reading their books.  Mainly because they have nothing to offer.   

I lie to get myself out of sticky situations, therefore, I’m a liar.

I watch porn.  I hate it because I would rather have an honest, loving relationship with a real woman, but because no woman will have me, and with porn I’m never rejected, I’m a fornicator and quite possibly an adulterer.  

I don’t know how to love or to accept love.   

I don’t tithe in the manner that the church people command us to tithe.  I do it as I feel led by the Holy Spirit and give when the giving is needed.  

I don’t worship God the Father or my LORD Jesus in meaningless repetition as so many of the ‘good’, ‘wholesome’, ‘churchian’ folk do.  

I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, I don’t do drugs, I don’t have tattoos, I don’t have piercings; and other than watching porn, I don’t sleep around so I don’t have any STD’s or illegitimate children.

I have an actual RELATIONSHIP with my God, LORD, King and Savior; which means that like all REAL and HONEST relationships, God and I have our ups and downs.  

We have rocky, bumpy, joyful, stress-filled, exuberant, moments…but it’s REAL.  100%, in your face REAL.  Not a made-up fantasy of repetition and rituals and what’s more…we can never break up because once I’m His nothing and no one can ever separate us.  

God knows my every thought…every action…every struggle…every word.  He’s always with me.  

Is He pleased with me 100% of the time?   —  Nope!!   Do I regret that?  — Sometimes.   

And because of all this…I am NOT a christian. . . at least . . . not a christian by the world’s examples and definition.  

What I am, is a Follower of JESUS.  

The LORD JESUS CHRIST who was obedient unto His Father, even unto death, so the Father would be able to reconcile the world back unto Himself through the death of His Son on a cross.  Therefore, ANYONE would be saved who would look upon Jesus on that cross and believe that He is from God and would turn from their evil, wicked, disobedient deeds and believe in their hearts that God the Father raised Jesus from the dead on the third day. 

 

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15 thoughts on “I am NOT a “christian”

  1. Wow! So honest! So refreshing. I used to be exactly like this. Exactly. I think God just brings us all to certain places in His timing. You are like this now, and not that there is anything wrong with it but don’t be surprised if one day you are convicted to be different. That’s what happened with me. I loved to listen to online sermons and really never read the Bible. Then I started realizing that a lot of the things I knew at the time about God and Jesus and the end times were things that had been told to me. I had never read for myself. So I started reading and found out so much stuff of what I thought I knew wasn’t even in there haha! Plus when it says that “The word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double edged sword…” IT IS TRUE. It was when God convicted me to read His word that I got a real relationship with Him and finally found some peace!
    And then another turning point that happened a few years ago (and again, this is just MY story, I just wanted to share because it’s funny where God takes us and how) I was looking at the news feed on Facebook and it said the same convergence that was thought to be the Star of Bethlehem was reappearing that night. It hit me like a ton of bricks. What if The Star of Bethlehem meant that Jesus was returning that day? I was going to stand in front of Him, He had died for me, and all I had done to say thanks was….. nothing. No one knew that I was a loved Him, I told no one about Him, I didn’t even try to live righteously. I felt awful! I can’t explain how terrible I felt. I still remember I couldn’t eat, and you know me, I eat A LOT haha. But I am so glad that happened because I am so much closer to Him now.
    Anyway, so sorry if that was oversharing. Thank you for your post and being so real Leo!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, what a great post irfty! I can relate so much to what you say. I try and go to church but find myself completely turned off once the pastor starts urging us to share about Jesus and the sinner’s prayer gets repeated every, single, week. I’ve found other ones though that concentrate more on scripture and the message of what God is trying to tell us and I feel more at home there. I do enjoy worship music as I feel it opens up a portal in my heart for God to plant seeds.

    Oh, I cuss a lot. I’m not proud of it but at the moment it’s where I am at. Thank you so much for being honest irfty.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Tricia. Your words are very kind and sweet. I’m thankful that others share in the same struggles that plague this pathetic life O’ mine. 🙂

      The churches these days are so wrapped up in feeding milk to the infant believers that they forget about those who are ready for the meat. I’m sorry to hear about your experiences, but I am happy to hear you’ve found a few places that will actually preach the word of God.

      And as for you cussing….I don’t believe you. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • “so wrapped in feeding milk to infant believers…” that is exactly it irfty! Luckily though there are good ones around but it takes a lot of searching.

        If you were anywhere near me two days ago you would believe what I say about my cussing! I’m trying though…

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ha! Well, Tricia, we all need to work on controlling our tongues…me especially…and the older I get the more I tend to let loose the words that should be restrained.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, amen, irtfy! This is awesome. I like you, you’re authentic and real. You sound just like one of those people Christ chose as His disciples, actual people, a bit rough around the edges. Peter once went out and lopped of someone’s ear, an act I so empathize with. The only thing I wish is that you could see yourself as God does, as having such worth and value to His kingdom just as you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gah, through and through this sounds like me about a year ago! I’ve started going to church recently, and have been working my way through the book “The Praying Life”. Although I still agree with you on many things, I feel a lot less anger or despair for the world that surrounds us. I just became so lost that I’ve started really enjoying church, went for the first time in a decade last January, and have been there almost every Sunday ever since. I’m not a crazy Bible thumper, “Jesus juker”, nor do I agree with rubbing it in everyone’s face…but reading this I realize what a relief I feel from where I was before. But I feel you 100%, I just wanted to comment to empathize, it took a long time for me to let go of anger and bitterness and find peace. And I love your ending statement! Quite Moving. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The world is a mess. It’s a bad place to bring up your children, full of evil, greed, and bad people disguised as politicians.
    I don’t read The Bible every day or go to church…… in fact I wouldn’t know the tunes to the hymns I know as they have all been changed.
    I don’t drink, I don’t smoke (gave up in 1991), have never done drugs, have no tattoos but do have pierced ears (once was enough).
    I’m on my second marriage, but third long term relationship.
    I have friends, I’ll help anyone out (never financially though) and like to think I’m a good person.

    We are all different, all have our beliefs, and mine is that when I breathe my last breath on this earth, there is something better waiting for me elsewhere.
    At the moment though, I am in no hurry to find out exactly what.

    Liked by 2 people

Herd Mooings

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