With the eminent reorganization of my company, I have heard rumblings that Wikidork is leaving us next month.  The reason is because he’s a contract employee and severely overpaid, therefore, the company doesn’t want to continue paying his salary, so his contract is not being renewed.  

Of course, as most of you are probably aware, this news really breaks my heart (sarcasm).  However, upper mis-management has made a firm decision not to keep him on as a regular employee, so Wikidork will not be around much longer.  

boo . . . hoo.   

That being neither here nor there, I’d rather discuss a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  The topic of Nicknames.

I’ve mentioned it in a previous post that I believe nicknames are a right of passage in life.  

My sisters and I had nicknames growing up, our friends had nicknames, my brothers-in-law have nicknames (my sisters thought them worthy), heck, even my nephews and nieces have nicknames.

But I must make it abundantly clear that a nickname is not just something you randomly select.  It’s a label that indicates how others perceive you.  

A nickname can mean that one is approved or part of “the group”.  Some examples include: Pumpkin, Goldie Locks, Shorty, Dimples, Dough-boy and Love Handles. 

However, a nickname can also mean that you’re an outcast and not wanted at all.  A few examples include: Pregnancy Test, Pig Pen and Snoopy’s Little Helper.  I’d continue adding names to the list, but I think you get the point.    

Consequently, I hope from those examples you understand that giving someone a nickname can be a label of admiration and love or in other extreme cases an immature, mean-spirited attempt at slandering another person’s character.  Therefore, nicknames must follow a few guidelines to be considered appropriate, and here are five guidelines I like to follow when coming up with a nickname:  

  • It must relate to the person’s stature, character, habits, name or demeanor.  
  • A nickname must be creative. 
  • A nickname should have some kind of story behind it to explain it’s heritage.
  • The person who you give the nickname too does not need to know they have the nickname.  
  • But if they happen to find out the nickname, it’s only wise that it never be one that gives a derogatory or demeaning impression to the person who received it.

With that said, I have to say that I am actually impressed with Donald Trump’s doling out of nicknames.  After all, he’s following most of the rules above.  

An example is when he gave Elizabeth “The Wizard” Warren the nickname “Pocahontas”.  I actually thought that was clever because he then gave an explanation as to why she deserved that nickname.  I guess at some point in her life she claimed that because her cheekbones were high, she was Native American; therefore, The DONALD decided she deserved the nickname “Pocahontas”.  

Quite witty, if you ask me.

Sadly, and quite pathetically, The Wizard Pocahontas wasn’t able to come up with anything clever in reply.  Instead, she reached way back into her childhood and called The Donald a “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud.” 


If you haven’t figured it out yet, calling someone a “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud” is not a nickname.  That’s just being mean and showing a lack of creative maturity.  Also, it breaks cardinal rule number five, but I’m not one to nit-pick.  

Just for future reference derogatory or demeaning name calling should be kept to yourself or within a tight inner circle.  The reason is pretty self explanatory, but because some of you aren’t all that bright, I’ll try to explain.  

Derogatory and demeaning name calling is typically meant to tear down another person.  Which isn’t very kind.  It’s typically what we did when we were twelve to get back at someone who hurt our feelings on the playground.  Therefore, when a grown man or woman starts throwing derogatory names around like hay in barnyard, it reveals a lot about that person’s character . . . or . . . lack there of.  

So, how should The Wizard Pocahontas have replied?   Great question!  And I’m so glad that you asked!  

IF….The Wizard Pocahontas would have been less pathetic in her creativity, she would have gathered her little tribe of followers together and asked them to come up with a list of cleverly chosen nicknames for the “nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud” that didn’t make her look like a little child pouting on the playground.

Nicknames such as,  “Captain Bankruptcy”, “DDT”, “Dead-eye Donald”, “Truancy Trump” or “Slumpy Trumpy” would have worked just fine, but sadly, our little Wizard Pocahontas stepped in front of an open microphone and blurted out…“nasty, loud, thin-skinned fraud!”

Obviously our dear Wizard Pocahontas missed a great opportunity to show the world her creative side.   


It is so pathetic when people who think themselves to be creative and intelligent can’t come up with a creative nickname.  


12 thoughts on “Nicknames

  1. Would you like to meet our daughters, “Broke it” and “Lost it”? They must still be applicable, fifteen or so years after Spouse and I bestowed these nicknames upon them, as I think they are now being employed by the girl’s “SO’s”. As for “the Donald”, maybe Pocahantas should have just started her tirade by saying, or at least implying, that tiny hands indicate tiny brain as well as the other thing his Republican opponents alluded to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Let’s see. People call me CookieCakes, and that’s ok because I do love cookies.

    I only occasionally use nicknames for other people – like my next-door neighbor, Ho Mommy. You might consider that derogatory, but it’s really not because she’s very proud of the fact that she’s never been married, has never held a legitimate job, has an illegitmate son who runs wild, and has a whole string of men (never the same one twice) who visit for an hour or two at a time, usually late at night. I’m pretty sure she knows what she is.

    And then we have her friend across the street, Psycho Dad – who called the police because a plastic football came over the fence into my yard and wasn’t returned RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE! If he’s not aware of how he appears to people, everyone else on the street is, so I’m not uncomfortable with using that nickname.

    My theory is – if you don’t want a derogatory nickname, don’t do anything that would cause people to want to give you one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am the man of many nicknames. They are a way of life down here. Even though some sound slanderous, they are all done in love. Trust me LOL.

    Waliford- Most everybody

    Willis- my step daughter

    Dorkwad- My lovely mother in law, because I kept calling people that

    Dirt Dauber(deaf father in law who didn’t hear dorkwad right.)

    Cheesy Fry- By a lady who’s nickname is cheese.

    I don’t even know who I am anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

Herd Mooings

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