Headlines


headline

I’m feeling a bit snarky today and have managed to insult quite a few people in the  few hours that I’ve been upright, Soooooo…to continue my onslaught of pathetic disparaging comments I’ve decided to post this post.    

With that said, I’ve compiled a short list of pathetic news headlines that I found while browsing the internets (yes, I said ‘internetS‘.  Get over it!)  

I don’t know if you’ll find them to be as pathetic as I did, but that doesn’t really matter because it’s my blog and I post what I want; and since I feel snarky today, you’re going to have to deal with my weird, wacky, pathetic sense of humor…

1

I find it pathetic that the writer of this headline actually thinks the internet has a mind of its own, or that an artificial intelligence . . . (with no feelings of its own, mind you) . . . would lose its mind over a woman not wearing a bra, since there are hundreds of thousands of pictures and videos of women on said internets not wearing a bra. – Pathetic!

2

After seeing this headline I thought to myself, “I guess there’s a positive reason for Plastic Spoons Guy to eat potato chips at his desk.”

Okay, not really.

The fact that this woman found a cancerous tumor while eating a “daily dose” of potato chips was rather extraordinary. . .and pathetic, because who readily admits to eating a daily dose of potato chips?

And how does she know the “daily dose” of potato chips didn’t create the tumor in the first place?

3

Two things I’d like to point out about how pathetic this headline is:  First, it’s about Donald Trump.  Second, the misuse of quotations around the words “bring back”.

They aren’t needed in this Headline.

Okay, that and the fact that the headline eludes to Donald thinking that Joe Paterno could possibly be raised from the dead was pretty pathetic as well.

4

Speaking of the misuse of quotations in headlines…

It seems that the writers in this pathetic day and age like to use quotations quite a bit.

The above headline obviously reveals how the writer was able to draw upon their inner Dr. Evil to use quotations around “back to life” and “huge swarm of bees”.

But why?

They aren’t needed.

As a reader, I see the words “Back to Life” and “Huge Swarm of Bees” surrounded by quotations and I immediately think these phrases are either euphemisms. . . (for those of you less educated in the herd, that means a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing) . . .or sarcasm.

So this begs me to ask, what other terms would be considered too harsh or blunt that they had to be replaced with “back to life” and “Huge swarm of bees“?  Also, if it were meant as sarcasm, it’s pretty pathetic to mock or convey contempt at a possible loss of life.

Either way, the improper use of quotes in the above headline is just pathetic.

5

I didn’t think the headline was pathetic. However, I did want to point out that after observing the picture we can obviously see that a steady diet of pond water and plants can really mess with your eyes.

6

Umm…I found this pathetic headline and decided not to read the article because I already know the answer…

 . . . If the Navy shot down the Russian fighter jets, it would have been just as bad as the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

(For those of you cattle who aren’t into history, that assassination led to World War I.)

7

I believe that island is referred to as: ‘The United States of America’.

And last but not least….

8

I don’t know if Stephen Hawking has looked in the mirror lately, but I think we’ve already found alien life.  Intelligent?  That’s another post for another day.

I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again…there’s pathetic everywhere, you just have to look for it. . . Ooorrrrr you can just make it up as you go. 

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5 thoughts on “Headlines

  1. Ha! I love it when the internet loses it’s mind. Is this like, compared to when sanity and common sense usually reign? I mean, has anyone ever seen the internet not lose it’s mind?

    I love the pond water woman, too. In my neck of the woods we bottle that stuff and everybody’s eyes look like that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • hahaha…yeah, the internet seems to lose it’s “mind” a lot now-a-days. I think it has something to do with climate change, or maybe it’s throwing the baby out with the bath water?
      No…that can’t be it…

      anyway, I have to say, I’m not sure I believe you that everyone in your neck of the wood has eyes like that. No pictures posted on the internet, then it’s not true. lol. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

Herd Mooings

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