Awkward Date


Not_really_friends

Okay…so, I once dated a woman who took me to a local bar/restaurant where she claimed she was “friends” with the owner.  

While we were sitting at our table, a waitress walked up to take our order but before that could happen, my date proceeded to ask if the owner would make an appearance at our table because she wanted to say hello.  

The waitress, ignoring all the tell-tale signs that I was about to die of starvation, gave a quick glance around the room and then excused herself to see if she could find the owner.

katherine hepburn

After what seemed like weeks because I was starving and in desperate need of sustenance, the waitress finally made a second appearance at our table; not to take our order mind you, but to gleefully produce the owner of the restaurant who didn’t look all that happy to be taken away from whatever it was she was taken away from.

She kind of reminded me of Katherine Hepburn in. . . well. . . everything that Katherine Hepburn was ever in.  

. . . and this is where the pathetic begins!     

My date, smiling like an adopted puppy, greeted the owner of the restaurant as if they had known each other for many years.  The owner, however, didn’t return the same expression or body language.  

Matter of fact, she actually asked my date how they knew one another because, and I quote, “she had no idea who my date was or when they met.” 

. . .begin . . raising . . . yellow . . . flag. . . now . . .

awkward-first-date-silence

My date, unsure how to respond and glancing at me with a look that said: “Crap, I hope he’s not smart enough to read into that!” (which I am) looked back at the owner and politely stated, “Oh, you don’t remember?  It was about a month ago…I was here one night watching a football game and that’s when we met.”  To which the owner of the restaurant returned a rather pathetic and bemused, “Ummm…Oooo-kaaaay?”   

…oops!  My mistake…wrong flag . . . Silly me . . . Yellow flag lowered…Red flag . . . Raised!! 

This is when the owner began looking around the room hoping she could find a way out of this very weird, very pathetic conversation.  

Of course, my date, still wanting to prove to me that she really did know this woman, tried to ease the awkwardness of the moment with some pathetic small talk, but this woman who was visibly uncomfortable and obviously NOT my date’s friend wouldn’t have any part of it.  

After what seemed like an eternity (probably because I was near death from starvation) of mumbles, glances and awkward smiles, the owner finally said some pleasantries then excused herself to assist one of her employees with a large order.  

Pinoccio_nose growing

At that moment my date looked at me with the look of being caught in a lie.  You know the look…pierced lips, wandering eyes, the quick look over each shoulder to plan your exit strategy because your nose is growing and your pants spontaneously caught on fire…  

Now I, being the sincere, empathetic (see what I did there?) man that I am, stared at my date with a look of expectant optimism hoping that she would confess the truth.

The truth that my date wasn’t actually ‘friends’ with this person.  That she only met her once and since that initial meeting has never had any interaction with her what-so-ever.

However, instead of telling me the truth my date looked at me with great conviction and confidence and pathetically stated,  

“She tends to forget things.  She’s funny that way.”

The Office_Jim

 

 

 

 

Honesty…integrity…and truthfulness go a long way in my book, but lying…fibs…and trying to cover your butt when you get caught in a lie are exceptionally pathetic.  

Oh…and if you’re curious, yes.  The waitress finally took my order and the food was delicious.

 

 

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35 thoughts on “Awkward Date

  1. Aww I feel bad for her. Not sure why she thought letting you believe she knew the owner would get her any cool points. I’d want to show other things about myself to impress a guy on a first date. Further, people in the restaurant /bar industry don’t always remember faces. You could feel like best good friends one visit and they don’t even wave at you the next time. They just see so many faces. So therefore, I would never assume we were friends. It’s sad that she did. I don’t know, made me feel sad. But glad you got your food!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so sorry it made you feel sad. I really can see how it would, but please don’t feel sad for her. She was not a very nice person, and thankfully I found that out early on in the relationship.

      Like

  2. Oh, this was probably one of the funniest things I’ve come across this month. And it’s the first of May.

    I am relieved to hear that you did get to eat. Last time I ate out, it was on lunch break and I had to take my food back to the office in a to-go box because of “delays.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • hahaha. yeah, and it makes for a funny blog post! 😀

      BTW…I missed an opportunity as I was walking to my car the other day. A guy was running towards me and I kept thinking…”I wonder if he’s wearing jeans?”…turns out…he was!! AND I missed the opportunity to take a picture because my phone was in my pocket. 😦

      Looks like I’ll have to start wearing a GoPro as well. lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Any woman who doesn’t understand the importance of food in a man’s life shouldn’t be a waitress…or a wife …(unless they have a mutually understood, alternative agreement)

    I know quite a few women who just REFUSE to cook for their husbands. I have no idea why. They obviously love to eat (for people who don’t cook, they manage take in a lot of food). I should mention that one of these women happens to be very close to me…like maybe…my sister! She actually hired a cook. She did that because although she had a service that delivered fresh produce etc. right to her front door she still couldn’t manage to put a meal together. Did I mention that she’s at home all day?

    I know other women like that too. They haven’t hired cooks but they just tell their husbands to open a can when they get home from work…or tell them to take them out to eat.

    Then they wonder why he’s grouchy…

    Oopsie…the PC police are going to come after me if I keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL! way to throw your sister under a bus! LOL!!! thank you for that comment, though. I actually learned how to cook at in my teen years for the very reason you stated. I was afraid I’d never find a woman who could cook for me. Of course, I enjoyed the process of making something that tasted good as well, so there was that! 🙂

      I don’t necessarily think a woman needs to cook for her husband, but I do think there is some gratification that comes from a husband when his wife takes the time to make him something to eat. that whole belief that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach actually has some truth to it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • She HAS to get thrown under the bus. When she was four, she took my Barbie and cut all her hair off.

        That’s just a joke…although she did cut the hair off all her Barbies. She wanted to “style” their hair so they all ended up almost bald…just little sprigs of short, plastic hair sticking up all over the place.

        Wives don’t have to cook (and I know some couples have alternate arrangements like the man prefers to cook) but it’s such an easy way to show a little love and affection. It’s pleasing to nurture and care for someone that way. I feed my family because I want them to eat good, healthy, warm food. It makes them happy and it makes me happy to provide it.

        It’s great that you learned to cook. My dad was an excellent cook. My sister and I always got excited when it was his turn to make a meal! He was more creative in the kitchen than my mom. She was queen of the utilitarian dinners (with good reason…she was very busy). We sat down together every night to eat as a family and I kept that tradition in my own home.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL. I can tell that you love your sister very much. LOL…

          Gathering around the table with your family is a great tradition to continue and hopefully your kids will carry that on with their families! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

      • You testosterone heavy types get grouchy if you’re not fed! This is also true of my youngest daughter, who takes after her father in this regard. IDK if there’s a test or anything that measures the amount of that “male” hormone in a given female’s chemistry but if there was I’d be willing to bet this slight “imbalance” would be revealed in my daughter and a bunch of other females, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha! That kind of name dropping is the absolute worst. What’s the point of these lies? Are we supposed to be impressed because they know someone? Or do they just think we’re stupid? I can never really figure that one out. At least you got fed. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • tell me about it!! I don’t understand the name dropping either, nor the lies. You know, IB…if it weren’t for the waitress finally taking my order and bringing me my food, the whole ordeal would have been extremely traumatizing and left me with a tainted view of proper dining etiquette. I’d be scarred for life. lol.

      Liked by 2 people

Herd Mooings

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