Dating Sites: The Pathetic Approach


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Some jackwangle decided to inform me that a dating website is a “great” way to meet women, and that I should give one _or two!_ a try if I haven’t already.  

ummm….

No….No they are not.

and

No….No I shouldn’t. 

Quite honestly, I’ve tried dating sites in the past… Match.com, eHarmony and “Christian(and I use that term very loosely) Mingle.com just to name a few, and after using them I’ve discovered a few things about the people who are on them…

  • Dating sites are a window shoppers dream come true.  – The sites are great for people to peruse the “goods” without having to actually buy anything. 
  • Dating sites are filled with a lot of fake profiles.  – Dishonest people use those sites for taking advantage of the unsuspecting…more on this in a moment.
  • Dating sites are filled with a lot of people who use it as a substitute for bars and porn sites.  – Tell me, when was the last time you met someone in a bar or on a porn site who wanted a stable, long-term relationship?
  • Dating sites typically focus their marketing towards the cowardly, lonely and desperate. –  Dating sites are for the cowardly men in this world who don’t have the courage to approach a woman in person and start a conversation.  Dating sites are also set up for those people in the world who are lonely and desperate…(yes, ladies…no matter how much you lie to your friends and family…that includes you.)
  • Most importantly, dating sites (including the so-called “christian” sites) are filled with liars.  – lots … and lots … and lots of liars.

You see…cattle are not typically honest.  They lie. . . a lot . . .and dating sites provide an ample resource where said lairs can make up crap about themselves to try and persuade others to see their good, fun-loving, silly side.  

I know this to be true because, remember, I tried a few dating sites in the past and what I found was liar after liar, after liar.  Sadly, I include myself in that list. ((hangs head in shame))  🙂  

Right now, you’re probably screaming at your technological device asking me to provide examples; so here’s a few that I’ve run across from people I’ve met using random dating sites…

1. The Social Drinker.

Typically, when a person says that they drink socially, I take that to mean they enjoy having a drink or two with close friends or family.  I also believe that alcohol isn’t their life and they don’t typically spend a lot of time swigging beers, wine or other hard liquor.  However, the label “social drinker” on a dating site doesn’t carry the same meaning.  

When a dating-site liar labels themselves a “Social Drinker” it really means that they probably have a life-time membership to Alcoholics Anonymous, might have a few DUI’s under their belt and probably have a bottle of wine every hour before bedtime.  This is just to…“You know? … Take the edge off!”  

2. Faked, Photo-Shopped or Not a Recent Picture

I cannot tell you how many people have posted pictures that weren’t of themselves on a dating site, but it’s a lot.  

Porn site owners do this all the time because they want to lure the unsuspecting man who wants to be with a “hot girl”.  Also, criminals will do this to lure people into thinking that a man or woman’s profile is legit, but they post pictures they stole from random people who actually posted them on social networks so they can lure the unsuspecting into clicking on a link, giving up financial information or even sending money to someone they never met.

Those are some of the more dangerous uses of fake pictures, but the more subtle are of real bovine who actually created a legitimate profile but posted a ten year old picture of themselves because they were more attractive back then.  No matter how they try to justify it, it’s still a lie because…

3.  Wrong Age. Wrong weight. Wrong Appearance. Wrong Vocation.

Yes, people have posted on their dating profiles a vocation that sounded like a high-paying executive job, but the simple slap-in-the-face reality is that they are really a cashier at a local supermarket.  YET!  They have aspirations to move into management someday, so at least they have that going for them.  

Also, on the topic of posting a picture that isn’t recent, many contestants on the game of thrones dating sites will post the wrong age and typically describe their body as “Average” or “Need to lose a few pounds” when the reality is, they are old enough to be a member of AARP and ample enough to be a permanent contestant on the Biggest Loser.

Yeeeeaaahhh…before I offend everyone of ample body structure, let’s just move on…

4. Relationship Status…Single, Divorced, Separated, “Other?”  

The plethora of cattle who are on dating sites these days are typically divorced, but in my experience many of them don’t select that category.  They like to select “single” and I get it…they don’t like the label of being “divorced”.  I mean, how many of us really want to be judged on having a failed marriage especially when we’re trying to lure the other lonely, desperate people of the world into being attracted to us… but the one option I don’t understand is “Other”.

Seriously?!?!  What the hell does “other” even mean for a relationship status and why is this even an option?  And yes…there have been people who have selected this option and that is just pathetic.     

5.  Outdoorsy, Likes to Read, Netflix Binge Watcher

One of these things is not like the other.  

Outdoorsy means you enjoy being outdoors, camping…fishing…hiking…playing sports…You know?  Typical activities that are done… ohhh…I dunno…OUTDOORS!  So if/when a dating-bovine follows the adjective “outdoorsy” with “Netflix binge watching and reading,” I typically see a red flag waving.  

I know many of you aren’t going to interpret this in the same way, but when I think of someone who likes Netflix binge watching and Reading, I tend to think of them as INdoorsy people…not OUTdoorsy.  But hey!  That’s just me.  🙂   

6. Kids.

Yes, people lie about having or not having kids.  

In my many experiences spinning the failure-wheel-of-online-dating, I found that many of the divorcees who listed themselves as “single” were the main liars of this particular category.  But again, I can’t blame them.  I mean, they didn’t want to frighten off potential suitors who lacked the necessary motivation or desire for having an instant family, so keeping the whole “…do you have kids?” thing a secret until AFTER they were able to score a date makes sense.   . . . what am I saying?  

No it doesn’t!     

7. Religion: “Christian” or “Christian Other

In our pathetic world-o-stupidity cattle have a disoriented meaning of the term “Christian“.  Typically, the world will define a “christian” as meaning you’re a ‘good person‘…(which none of you are)...or the world defines it as meaning you’re “sort of” religious but aren’t assigned to a particular religious group…or the world will define it as meaning that you attend church on Easter, Christmas, Weddings and Funerals…or the world defines it to mean that a person is all of the aforementioned.  

Sadly, if you have adopted any or all of those definitions of “christian” you’re in the same boat with the rest of the world. . . very, very misled and pathetically wrong!

The term “Christian” actually means you’re a follower of Jesus Christ…hence the first part of the word: “C-h-r-i-s-t” . . . but in this day of social attention deficit disorder, fewer and fewer people understand or accept that meaning of the term Christian and will lie about their actual beliefs in Jesus just to have a relationship with someone they find attractive or appealing.  

Sadly, the world is filled with posers who want to be considered a “good and wholesome” cookie when the truth remains…they aren’t.  And yes…I include myself in that batch of rotten cookie dough.  

Furthermore, I do know how to test the spirit within those people who claim to be a Christian so I’ll know whether or not they are actually a follower of Jesus or just a self-proclaimed “good person”.

So there ya have it.  A few pathetic examples of the lies I’ve encountered of people who I’ve met using various dating sites and a few of the many reasons I refuse to use the sites to meet women.  

Personally, if I want to talk with a woman, I’ll approach her in person and start a face to face conversation with her.  It’s extremely less pathetic than hiding behind technology and it’s also a better way to show her that I have confidence and an actual interest in getting to know her.

I know and understand that a few of you cattle have been lucky enough to meet a spouse on dating sites, but how many frogs did you have to kiss and how many heart breaks did you have to suffer before you finally settled for the one your with?  Just sayin…

However, because I’ve used them in the past I’ve formed the opinion that using dating sites is a pathetic way to find your mate, but again… that’s just my opinion.

btw…I didn’t proofread this and posted it..as is.  Sorry if there are any punctuation, grammar or spelling mistakes.

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55 thoughts on “Dating Sites: The Pathetic Approach

  1. One of our coworkers was telling us about the various dating apps. My husband looked at me and said, “Wow. I wouldn’t have survived.” He was telling us that the apps are so readily available that you can text a person in the bar you are at and “hook up.” He also said it is terrible because you can be on a date and think that there must be something better on another app. Yikes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow…and yikes, indeed! That’s just not for me. I guess I’m old fashioned and like to meet people through friends, church, work and other social gatherings instead of relying on technology.

      Also, since there are so many apps used for “hook ups”, maybe we should start calling them that instead of “dating” apps? lol.

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry to say that I didn’t even read much of this post. That’s because I already knew a lot of what it would say after learning about many of the lies and pitfalls she’d encountered in her online dating experience. Learning from her painful experience has led me to be grateful many times over that I met my spouse when video dating was still available, and it was actually 27 years ago as opposed to 26 as I stated in my comment on your earlier post. I will be 61 next month, and my friend is a few years younger. She is divorced and has two lovely daughters, which is how I met her, through each of our eldest girls. Anyway, after hearing about all her marital, extra-material and non-marital experiences with the opposite sex, I would have advised her, had she asked, to just be happy with where she was in life and what she had. She reached this conclusion herself, after much trial and error induced pain, which sounds similar to what you’ve been through. Before I met my spouse, and even as I was going through the whole awful dating process, which really didn’t start in earnest for me until my late 20s and thankfully and suddenly and happily ended in my mid 30s, I had to tell my mom, who was desperate for grandkids and kept setting me up with guys she thought were wonderful (mainly because they were employed – or at least most of them were- single and Jewish and she knew their mothers or a friend of hers knew their mothers) but often turned out to be lying to her (and their mothers!) that to find The Right One took a lot of work. After all, the Good Ones didn’t, and probably still don’t, grow on trees. They hide under rocks so it takes a lot of heavy lifting to bring them to the surface for inspection!

    Liked by 1 person

    • thank you again for this comment. I have to say, that I do understand the pit-falls of dating oh too well, but I have to trust in God that He knows whether or not I will ever marry and if so, He knows the perfect person and the perfect time. Relationships do take work, but I do feel that we humans try so hard to make things happen when all we should do is take every day as a gift and be content with our circumstances. 🙂 I really enjoy reading your comments…so thank you again. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband and I and I met on OKCupid. We have been together three years and married almost one.

    Not to say that I didn’t meet some really awful or creepy or just plain strange people before that. But like meeting or trying to date people in general a lot of people are not sincere in the the beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • it’s true that many people won’t be sincere in the beginning of a relationship and that’s sad. Happy to hear you met someone you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you. it’s not easy finding a needle in a stack of needles. 🙂

      Like

  4. Meh. I met my boyfriend on a dating site (after many, many failed dates with others), and it kind of boggle my mind how perfect we are for each other. At the time, we lived maybe half an hour from each other, but we might not have ever crossed paths if it weren’t for the site. What was important was that we were both looking for the same thing, and we were both at a point where we just wanted to find someone we could be ourselves with. We were immediately able to find something about each other we shared in common, used that to break ground, and we’re happier than ever now. I’m not saying our experience is typical, but it is possible to find something genuine. Even better, it’s a great way to meet someone perfect for you whom you might not have otherwise ever crossed paths with “in the real world.”

    It’s not for everyone, though, I’ll admit that. But just because it’s not for everyone doesn’t mean it’s not for anyone.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s great to hear a positive story about dating sites. Glad things have worked out for you so far. Thanks for the comment, however, we’ll have to agree to disagree on our belief that dating sites are a worth while resource. I just don’t buy it…also…who’s to say you and the guy you’re with wouldn’t have met without the site? … guess we’ll never know. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I did meet my wife through a online dating site but just before that, I did fall foul of a psycho bunny boiler on the same site. So, I am in agreement that dating sites are an “enter at your own risk” sort of thing. In fact, the boiler tried to warn the woman I would eventually marry off me by telling her I was a liar and a player, I’m neither.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My dad found his 2nd wife on a Christian web site, he is a proper Christian and his first one passed away.

    He did have a few horror stories before that, but like anything in life you need to be wary. You can meet bad people in all situations not just dating sites.

    I meet my wife the old fashioned way. We worked together for several years, she stalked me so I finally gave in and now we have been married for six years, just like a Disney fairy tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. One of my friends just married a man from a dating site, POF.
    I’ve been on a few off and on, some Christian and some not, and met a couple of scammers, and a weirdo, but just recently met a rather nice local man on my last foray into POF.
    I have found it very hard to meet people otherwise as a 60+ year old, and before that I was living in a very remote community with very few people.
    I think they have a purpose, but you have to learn to be very picky and most careful…..
    Ann

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have several friends who have found lasting love through dating sites.

    Of course I also have a friend who still drives an Edsel, so take the first statement for what it’s worth.

    And remember, free online advice isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my.
    I agree with you on this on-line dating caper. I tried computer dating in the 80s, as did a friend at the same time as it was a ‘free run’. We were totally different in appearance, age, likes, personality, yet both of us had the same profile sent to us from ‘Simon’.
    In later years, I met up with a guy who had told me on the phone he was 5’6 ish, but he was actually 4 inches shorter than that.
    I joined the local Divorced and Separated club when I was going through my, oh yeah, divorce. The guys I met were anything but, and just looking for someone to boost their ego, give them sympathy and/or a little bedside manner. My ex turned up one night, so I bought him a drink. He left first.
    Hubby and I met through an ad in the local paper. Honest. He was looking for company and I wanted a friend following a bad relationship breakup. We were friends first, married 2 years later, and celebrate our Silver Wedding anniversary in May.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I no longer have to beat myself up for not being adventurous enough to sign up to any of these sites. My father used one after he divorced my mother and met a few women that way. He was in his late 60s when he signed up, so what the hell right?

    I asked him once how is it the women (in particular) feel safe enough to meet with a man they never met. And he told me, “Well, you start with lunch, so it’s in broad daylight and in public.”

    I asked him that, thinking about myself. I’m such a chicken that way and would be terrified to meet a guy from an online dating site because I imagine it could easily be a place for predators to find their prey.

    Oh and BTW: Reading can be an outdoor activity…on the deck, the lawn, by the pool or on the beach. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  11. My brother met his wife while visiting a friend in the hospital. She was volunteering at the hospital. If you meet someone at a bar you will meet someone who drinks. That could be a problem. If you meet someone who volunteers you’ll meet someone who has a good heart. That’s a good start.
    Leslie

    Liked by 4 people

Herd Mooings

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