There’s a guy who sits on the other side of my cubicle wall that eats…
He eats crunchy stuff.
He eats munchy stuff.
He eats crispy stuff.
He eats stuff from a paper bag that must be rattled.
He eats stuff from plastic bag that must be crumpled.
He eats stuff that MUST make noise. If it doesn’t make noise, he doesn’t eat it.
The other day he was eating something that made me think he was eating plastic spoons.
Anyway . . . after a few minutes of having to listen to the clickity-clickity-clickity of whatever he was using to destroy his teeth, I finally walked over to see what he was eating and to my surprise (and actual relief), I found out that he was eating sunflower seeds.
However, I must point out that he was not eating them like a normal person who grabs a handful, tosses them into their mouth, let’s them soak for awhile and then breaks them one by one rather silently. Oh No!! . . . he was eating them one by one and made it a point to break them apart with his front teeth individually. In doing so, it was amplified to the point that I thought he was actually eating plastic spoons.
Therefore and from here on, I have aptly named him, “Plastic Spoon Guy”.
What makes matters more pathetic is that I even made mention of the fact that I was concerned that he was eating plastic spoons because it sounded like he was eating plastic spoons, but that didn’t stop him from eating the sunflower seeds, which still sound like he’s eating plastic spoons.
I don’t think he knows how annoying it is when he eats something at his desk. I guess I should have been more clear.
By the way, this morning it was a bag of popcorn and it sounded like he was eating rocks.
Personally and in my pathetic opinion, I think this guy could make eating a banana sound like a jackhammer crushing pavement.
People who make a lot of noise while eating are pathetic.