Friday Funny: Amazon.com Adverts


sperm

I was browsing products on Amazon.com the other day and stumbled upon a few advertisements that were quite pathetic.  
After the first two, I thought they were just random, but then I realized they weren’t random.  People actually put these pathetic advertisements and promotional pictures together for all the world to see!  
And since I have the means to help promote all things pathetic, I figured I would share them with you all…
Enjoy! 

Flashlights!!  

The below advert clearly shows that the product will allow a person to confidently shoot high-intensity lasers at whatever they happen to be looking at.  This comes in handy while camping or hiking and you suddenly get attacked by bears, moose or other wildlife.

laserhead

This picture below reveals that by pointing this flashlight directly at your face, the light will instantly reveal every major flaw you possess inside and out.  It’s very handy for women to help weed out the losers from the winners. 

flashlight

– – – – –

Mosquito Repellent!!

I know that if I were camping and a swarm of giant cartoon mosquitoes showed up, I’d be heading home, but not these two!

I’m not sure what happened to the guy in the hat behind that woman…I think he’s napping, but then again, maybe he was attacked by a giant cartoon mosquito and is having a reaction, but as you can clearly see,  the mosquito repellent weaponry that the woman has placed on her right wrist allows her to remain confident in the midst of a giant cartoon mosquito attack.

mosquito repel2

I don’t know if the mosquito is repelled by the wrist band or the weirdness of the situation.

mosquito repel1

– – – – –

Costume Pants!! 

These are called: Goosh Pants.

Obviously the name speaks for itself, but if you can’t tell from looking at the picture, these are for Halloween…or maybe a wedding.  Either way, anything that makes it look like you’ve just wet or soiled yourself is worth the purchase!

Halloween costume

– – – – –

Weird Toys!!

Next we have “The Breast Milk Baby”.  It’s for all those little girls who just can’t wait to breast feed!  It comes with a plastic doll and an apron that has nipples on it for the baby to feed on.

If you thought this picture was bad enough, here’s a youtube link for a  televised commercial showing how the product works: Breast milk baby video

Breast Milk Baby

– – – – –

Selfie Stick!!

Our next advert is from a selfie stick advertisement that gives us three great uses and then one rather … ummm … let’s just say that one of these things is not like the others:

one of these things is not like the others

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Items Frequently Bought Together!!

And finally, I have saved the most pathetic for last.

Amazon.com likes to give their customers the option of being able to buy multiple items together.  These options are usually found just below the actual item that a customer might be viewing.  For instance, if you’re looking to purchase bath towels, you might have the option to purchase bath towels + shampoo as a combo purchase.

Normally, Amazon.com will label these as “Frequently Bought Together” items and give the customer an idea of how much they would save if they too purchased these items together.

However, in one such instance this blogger was given a very pathetic and very weird option of “Frequently Bought Together” items:

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combined items III  <— click on picture to enlarge

I guess there are a lot of pathetic people who enjoy relaxing to the soothing ocean sounds of an LED night light after a long day of trapping their own rodents and grinding them up into fresh meat!

I gotta say, that’s not my idea of healthy or relaxing, but too each their pathetic own!

 

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13 thoughts on “Friday Funny: Amazon.com Adverts

  1. Ha! Very funny. So many pathetic products, so little time….

    I go camping a fair amount, so I actually have those mosquito bracelets, 99 cents at the hardware store. I’m not sure if they actually work, I just saw the picture of two people making out on the package and assumed they had something to do with romance. That’s what my husband thinks when he finds those wrappers lying around, too. What the heck is this?? Uh, mosquito repellant? Sure it is 😉

    Liked by 1 person

Herd Mooings

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