I don’t really have much to write about today, so I made a list of book titles that I would like to see on store shelves or listed on Amazon.
If any of you get the urge to write any of these, you have my permission to use the titles, but please let me know when they are published and on sale.
The Skittish Yiddish.
“I Just Want To Be Friends” and Other Lies Women Tell Men
Job? I Don’t Need a Job! This is a Stick Up! Put the Money in The Bag and There Won’t Be Any Trouble!
“It’s Not a Sneeze Unless It’s Loud and Obnoxious”
Botox: How I Transformed From Beautiful to Ugly in Just Five Minutes!
Alcohol – How the Industry Misleads You Into Thinking it Will Make You Popular.
“It’s Not You, It’s Me” and Other Lies Men Tell Women.
“How To Tell You’re Secretly in Love With Bacon.”
“Culture Wars.” – Finally Getting ALL of Humanity to Accept and Admit They Are Racists.
“Everything I Needed to Know I Learned for FREE at the Public Library.” – A Simpletons Guide on Avoiding Massive Student Loan Debt.
“I Didn’t Vote For Them!” – How the Government Chooses Who Gets Elected by Manipulating the Results With a Simple Computer Program.
“How I Quickly Lost 100 Pounds by Running in a Thunderstorm and Getting Struck by Lightning”
“Four pair of Shoes is Never Enough.” – Why Women Feel the Need to Buy A Lot of Shoes They NEVER wear.
“Don’t Tell Mommy” – A Dad’s Guide on How to Let His Children Experience the Joys of Dangerous Living Without His Wife Finding Out.
“Obeying the Law is Not Legalism. Demanding that Your TAINTED View of the Law be Kept by Everyone Else, Is.”
“You Don’t Look So Good.” – How to Convince Your Crappy Co-Workers That They Have the Flu so They Go Home and Leave You Alone.
I have a weird and strange sense of humor. It’s pathetic.