Bad Haircuts


 haircut

Monday’s are typically my day to rant about my coworkers, and I have one about Pippy that I’m sure you’re all going to enjoy so stay tuned; but I’ll save that for later in the week. 

However, today I would like to rant about something else that happened this past weekend. 

To begin, I’d like to mention that my barber retired a number of years ago, and I have not been able to find anyone to cut my hair the way he did; and after going to the same barber for 15 years, I learned a thing or two.

First, NO ONE can cut my hair like my barber.

Second, NO ONE knows how to cut hair like my barber.

Third, NO ONE will EVER be able to cut hair like my barber.

Because of this revelation, I decided to buy some clippers and start cutting my own hair.  At first it was a serious challenge, but after a few attempts, some misguided cuts here and there and a few bald spots, I finally got the hang of it.  However, there are times when I feel that cutting my hair is just too much of a hassle; and I get the urge to try a new barber only to be disappointed by the lack of experience the barbering world has to offer these days.

Saturday was one of those days.

For some reason I decided to try this new place that opened near me.  It’s the second location of a regional chain that popped up in my little city over the past couple years, and before I called them to set up an appointment, I read a few reviews online and figured that since the first location was receiving 4 and 5 star reviews, this place had to be just as good.

I was wrong.

Upon arriving at the barber shop, I was greeted by the young lady who would take her artistic frustrations out on my hair.  I think her name was Abby or Alice or something like that, I didn’t really pay attention when she introduced herself.

Anyway, as I sat down in the chair, I showed her a picture of what my hair normally looks like when cut and trimmed to perfection.  As she glanced over the picture, she gave what appeared to be a genuine smile and nod of approval; so I assumed she was going to do a good job… 

Not so much.

…  sigh  …

Here’s some of the dialogue I had with the barber also known as ‘A’ as she cut my hair.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

A:  “How would you like it cut?”

ME:  “Just like this.”  (Showing her the picture.)

A: “Okay, so you want it like that?  That’s really close, I’m not sure I would use a guard if I cut it that close, are you okay with that?”

Me:  “Yes.  Just like the picture.  When I cut it, I don’t use a guard on the sides or the back and it’s a high and tight look, so don’t worry about how short you cut it.  The shorter the better.”

A:  (starts cutting my hair with clippers using a guard then says,) “I’m not sure I want to take that much off, you know…that’s a lot of hair to shave off; and if I cut it that short, I won’t be using a guard.  Is that okay?”

Me:  “It’s perfectly fine if you don’t use a guard.  I don’t use one when I cut it, so no guard is okay by me.  The shorter the better. Here’s the picture again. If you can cut it like what you see in the picture, that would be great!”

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

She left the guard on and continued what she was doing.  Of course it wasn’t what I told her I wanted, but hey!  As long as she was doing it HER way..that was fine.  Whatever made her more comfortable.  

Part way through the mess she was making on top of my head, she stopped and asked,  “So, how do you think it looks?”  To which I replied, “hrmmm…well, you could go shorter on the sides and then taper it into the top.” 

I think that made her angry because as soon as the last word had passed over my lips, the look on her face went from a smile to that of a determined woman who had been scorned.  She then proceeded to take the guard off the clippers, threw it at the mirror and forcefully pushed my head forward while pressing the clippers deep into the back of my scalp. 

Honestly, it didn’t feel like my hair was being cut anymore, it felt more like she was ripping the hair from my head with a set of old rusty clippers that hadn’t been used since the mid 1950’s.  (I should use an Edward Scissorhands joke here, but I can’t think of anything clever to say so I’ll just let you come up with your own.)

edward-scissorhands

After she trimmed up the sides she looked at me and said, “I had no idea you wanted it this short, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?” 

To which I apologized for my lack of communication, because I obviously never stated, nor did I repeat the words:  “the shorter the better”,  so it was obviously my fault.

Astonishingly,  she never trimmed up the hair on the top of my head to blend in with the sides and back; so when I returned home, I had to pull out my clippers and fix the mess that I paid $22 for.

Can we say, “waste of time”?

So once again, the barbering world has solidified my belief that no one can cut my hair like my old barber. 

…well…

No one, except me. 

Bad haircuts by bad barbers are pathetic. 

 

 

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46 thoughts on “Bad Haircuts

  1. Sorry you had a bad hair cut! I’m sure it looks much better now you (the obvious pro) has sorted it out! I have been bouncing from hairdresser to hair dressers for years, until recently. I decided to give this girl ago because sh had come highly recommended by my partners mum and she was amazing! she looked at me and said “how about doing something like this” and she did it EXACTLY how I have been wanting it for years!

    One woman genuinely cut my hair into a mullet (this was like 4 years ago) when I asked for a cute (long) layered look. She then got angry at me when I refused to pay £40. Another woman a few months later after me saying I want to keep the length just want to tidy it up now after the last mess said “that’s fine! I know exactly what to do” And oh my god. All my hair at the back was gone pretty much. I genuinely cried.

    Bad hair cuts are the worst! but it is worth it going to that effort finding someone you love!

    Better luck next time!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My dear mother whom I love oh so much wouldn’t let me get my hair cut by anyone besides her until I was almost ten and she always cut it so I just had one inch of hair all around my head. I looked like a boy. To this day there are still people who are confused by the fact that I am indeed not a boy. On the bright side, I have had girls tell me that they used to have crushes on me when we were little, so at least I was a cute boy…..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel your pain. I always struggle with finding good barbers when I decide to chop off my hair. I have had some outright refuse to cut my hair because it is a waste of such beautiful hair. And there I was, silly me, thinking I reserved the right to do with my hair as I pleased. Lol
    The one that cut my hair two weeks ago was a pain. First of all, I told the lady what I wanted and she handed me off to another lady and explained what I wanted. This new lady couldn’t speak english and she kept wanting to know what I wanted. I kept saying short, really short but did not get it. gave her pictures but still did what she thought was best. I just left after like, what just happened? Which is what I ask after every visit to the barber. Cannot find a good one and I have tried. Lucky me I don’t bad in short hair because the way it gets butchered is horrific to say the least
    K.C

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think stylists actually know how to cut hair the way the customer wants it cut, that’s why they act like they are listening when you tell them what you want, but they aren’t really listening. Instead, they are thinking about how they want to cut it.

      Thanks for sharing this.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I totally agree. I think we should all just accept that when we do go there, we should just sit there and tell them to have their way with us. Save us the trouble of being disgruntled after the effort of explaining what you wanted
        K.C

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Next time you’re brave enough to look for another barber you should start with an interview. Included questions I would suggest are, “Can you see?” and “Can you hear?” Once you have that established, produce the picture and ask, “Do you have your own portfolio? Because I need to know if you can do this…”
    And now I have the song Beauty School Dropout stuck in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • believe me, you’re grandpa is a wise man because there is a lot of truth in his words. But there are also a lot of really bad stylists out there who should never be allowed to cut hair. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad you think so! =D I wouldn’t know about bad hair stylists from experience- I’ve never actually had a hair cut, my mom has just given me trims all my life. But up until a few years ago, the guys of the family had the same lady ever since I can remember. She did a good job….but retired! Sound familiar? So now my mom just does everybody, and quite well usually. That is, if you don’t mind a nick out of your ear every now and then…. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. When my daughter was about 8, I took her to a new hair salon and tried to tell the stylist that I wanted my daughter’s hair in a “pixie cut” – short but cute. We went through a very similar conversation to the one you had with your new barber. The stylist had her thoughts on how it should look, and my daughter and I had ours. Finally, the stylist got royally pissed that we weren’t accepting her views, and she gave my kid a buzz cut! An 8-year-old girl! My daughter cried for months before that hair grew back in.

    As for barbers, my husband would agree with you. He had one barber he went to for about 20 years, and the guy had the nerve to retire! Actual barbers are very rare these days – it’s all unisex styling salons. My husband is not a happy camper.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow! that’s a horrible thing to do to an 8-year old girl. What was that goofy stylist thinking? I mean…wow! I really feel for your daughter in that mess.

      I don’t know what it is about these stylists who graduate from some crappy “beauty” school and suddenly think they are the hair stylist of the decade. I understand they think there is some artistic ability they possess, but truth be told…they suck at their jobs. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You’re very brave to piss off a woman with a sharp object at hand. I would have done the same and I don’t think I would have paid for that, but I’m not known for great decision making. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I was going to mention in my post how I know better than to piss off a person who wields scissors for a living, but I left that out. 🙂 lol.

      Let’s just say, I don’t plan on going back anytime soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha! I have accepted it for the most part. it’s just that if I get lazy and don’t want to cut my own hair, I would like to find someone who will do a better job than “snip, snip get outta my chair!” – LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  7. (after I have wiped the tears from my face from reading this and laughing so hard)

    Ok, so you clearly need to learn how to communicate better. LOL.

    That story more than made up for my extreme disappointment at the beginning when you teased me with the Pippy story!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Just recently, and for the second time in my life, I’ve moved country shortly after becoming dependant on a really good barber.

    I simply can’t face the prospect of starting the search anew, so it looks as though I have 2 options.

    i) Dreadlocks, or ii) back to very, very, very short.

    I hate my hair. It looks as though it was cut using a WWI German helmet as a pattern.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, finding a good barber is a challenge these days. Most of the people coming out of school aren’t barbers, they are cosmetologists and that’s not the same thing!

      I think dreadlocks are a good way to go.

      Like

Herd Mooings

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