New Cattle In The Herd

 

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Recently I have had an influx of followers … er… cattle to the herd.  Thank you opinionated man, for your meet and greet and a hearty Welcome to all of you who have joined the herd! 

It’s great to know that there are so many followers out there who don’t know how to resist clicking that little “follow” button.

Anyway…this post is to bring you all up to speed about my blog, and to give you all a little information about who it is that writes this stuff.

So, let’s begin…

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–  I refer to you all as Cattle. 

Read my “You’re All Cattle” page and you’ll understand why I call you that.  If you find it to be offensive…well…get over it. 

–  Married people are my muse, and I write from first person point of view even though I’m not married and never have been.

This actually might be news to many of you who were already following my blog because I’ve written posts that make it appear that I am married…but I’m not.   I’m single…never married.  I just think that if I write in first person point of view it’s more comical and brings more humor to the story. 

–  I’m a man.

I only tell you this because there will be some future posts that will be written from the wife’s point of view, and I don’t want there to be any confusion about my gender.

–  I believe that Everything is Pathetic.

This is the theme of my blog and I know that this can come across as negative at times, but I want you all to know and understand that nothing and no one is immune to being pathetic.  Everything is Pathetic.  But there’s humor in that concept and I hope to convey that through my posts as I write about the pathetic we call “life”.

–  I believe everyone is a follower.

By now you should understand that since I see you all as Cattle, I also believe that you’re all being led by someone or something.  Hence the reason for the name of my blog, I don’t want to be a follower like the rest of you….but alas…I am.   /hangs head in shame\

–  “I Refuse To Follow Your Blog” is just a title.

As many of you have found out, I don’t always refuse to follow your blogs.  I thought about naming my blog “Don’t follow this blog” or “You’re not allowed to follow my blog” but those just didn’t appeal to me.  I wanted a title that was more subtle yet blunt (I know…that’s a contradiction in terms.  I’m a complex bovine that doesn’t always think through things) than one that told people what not to do, and I think “I Refuse To Follow Your Blog” does that. 

–  I write about my coworkers a lot because they really are pathetic and that needs to be exploited. 

My coworkers are a pain to work with and I will try to write about them a least once a week.  They too are my muse; and as I write about my coworkers, you will notice that I have nicknames for almost every person I work with.  Some of you have already read about Magic Mike but there is also The Velveteen Yard Ornament, Pinata, The Miracle Worker and Pajama Tops just to name a few. 

My desire is to convey the same humor and frustrations I deal with on a daily basis in my blog posts; so when you read something about each one of them, you’ll feel like you’re actually there experiencing it first hand.  As I do…every  —  single  —  day.

–  Even though my blog may be negative at times, it’s meant to be funny.  I’m not as bitter and angry as my posts may lead you to believe.

I’m actually a pretty happy guy and I enjoy making people laugh, so just know that some of my posts may come across as angry, frustrated or bitter but I’m really satisfied with life and I smile and laugh all the time.  (If you only knew how many times I’ve struggled writing a post because I was laughing hysterically: Grocery Hell is a good example.)

–So, I hope you can see the humor in what I write and that it gives you a good laugh because even though everything is pathetic, it’s still pretty hilarious.  

Hope you all enjoy your time reading my blog because there are some really pathetic things coming for 2015!

Pathetic is a state of mind and that in itself is pathetic.

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