Working Alone


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From now on I think every Monday will be my day to rant about co-workers.  Mainly because I have a lot of things to say about each of them, and most of what I have to say isn’t positive. 

Like today for example, normally I work on a team of seven.  Today, I come to work and we have three people here. 

I know it’s the holiday season, and we’re slower than a storm-trooper trudging through mud…

Stormtrooper
Yes…it’s possible to find ANYTHING on the internet these days.

But come on!   …  Three people?    …  really?? 

Oh…and not to mention that two of which are leaving early today?!  

And I’ll give you three guesses to determine who won’t be leaving early today…

Agree_Depp

You guessed it!    /as he points his thumb back at self\

I don’t necessarily ‘hate’ my job, but what makes me really bitter is when my managers and the selfish, lame brains that I am forced to work with decide not to tell me until the last minute that I’ll be obligated to work alone because they all decided to take an afternoon off.  

For some reason they all have this weird belief that I’m completely capable of handling this place on my own. 

I mean…who in their right mind would leave me alone in the office to…  …  …

:\       …   wait  …      :\

Now that I think about it…   I can handle this place on my own … 

And don’t get me wrong, there are many days that I wish I was working alone…but that’s not the point here. 

If you’re a good manager, wouldn’t you want to make sure you don’t have ONE employee working by themselves for the last three hours of the day?   I mean, what if something happens to me?   Who covers the shift?

I know I work in an office, but still…bad things can happen to people who work in an office, and I don’t think my manager ever takes this stuff into consideration.  I mean…seriously!!…Don’t these people ever watch movies?!?!

It’s times like these that my mind kicks into overdrive, and I drift off into what I call:Dorian Dreamland”, and I start to imagine all of the weird things that could happen while I’m working alone.  (For you cattle who aren’t familiar with the TV show, Scrubs, click this: >Dreamdays< to understand what I’m talking about…) 

red dawnFor starters…what if Red Dawn really happens?   What if the Cubans, Russians and Chinese all decide to invade and my quaint little office becomes their headquarters, and I’m stuck hiding in a cabinet with nothing but a stapler and a few reams of paper to defend myself? 

megatronOr what if Megatron shows up with his Decepticons and they find out that the spectacles I have for sale on Ebay are the ones that contain secrets from Cybertron and they come after me while I’m here in the office.  

                  …      all       …       alone

Then a Decepticon locates my whereabouts, sneaks into the office and attacks me causing me to run for my life while the other Decepticons, led by Megatron, start a massive rampage through the city, and I’m stuck here in the office hiding in a cabinet with nothing but a stapler and a few reams of paper to defend myself?

giant mouseThere’s also the possibility that beneath the building I work in the government has constructed an underground lair that contains bio-toxins and because it’s the holidays, no one is there, and a mouse runs across a lab table knocking over some chemicals. 

The mouse then drinks the chemicals and grows into a monstrous creature that wants to destroy the world.  Once again forcing me to hide in a cabinet with nothing but a stapler and a few reams of paper to defend myself.

So…umm…..yeah… I have quite the imagination, but when you’re sitting all alone in a cubicle of depression and self loathing, you have to come up with ways to entertain yourself. 

Also, it’s very possible that any of the scenarios I mentioned above could happen!     

My co-workers never think about this stuff, and when I bring it up…they all look at me like this: 

deer in headlights

I don’t think they believe me. 

Being left to work alone for three hours at the end of the day is pathetic!

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10 thoughts on “Working Alone

  1. Don’t knock a ream of paper as a defense weapon…that sucker will knock you (or your assailant) out! And yes, it IS lame to be stuck in the office all alone :(. Sorry.

    Like

Herd Mooings

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