Crazy for Boys


 be the man2

I spend quite a bit of time scanning blogs for topics that I can complain about, (mostly because there’s so many that contain nothing but drivel that I know I’ll never run out of material) but today I noticed that there are a lot…

excuse me…  did I just say, “a lot“?   I’m sorry…let me rephrase that…

I meant to say…There are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there written by women who are absolutely “boy crazy”.

Blogs from scorned women who say they don’t want to date anymore, but as you read through their insecurities and foibles (that means: “bad habits” for the uneducated in the herd) it’s pretty easy to read between the lines.  They secretly are writing about how badly they just want a man, which makes no sense to me what-so-ever.

There are blogs that contain love stories of romance and other …things… that I have never heard of or witnessed in my adult life; and I should add that these descriptive words of smut should never be mentioned on the internet in plain sight of little children! 

After reading some of these posts…   I   ….   well   …all I can say is that I thought men had a depraved mind.  You women should be ashamed of yourselves!  

Seriously!!

Come on, you creepy, lustful heifers!!  Think of the children before you write this stuff and post it on your blogs!!

sheesh!

(God grant me the courage….deep breath….in…..out….in….out….”serenity now”….”serenity now”…)

Okay…So back to my original reason for today’s rant.  Women who are boy crazy and why they shouldn’t be.

For starters, men have hair growing in places it shouldn’t, and it’s disgusting. Some have it growing from the lower part of the back.  Others have a strange patch growing out of one side of their head.  The majority have it growing out of their ears, nose and face among other places.

I know one guy who has a strange patch of hair growing on his upper back.  Just…one…little…patch.  Now that’s just plain weird.  I asked him why he doesn’t shave it off or get it waxed and he told me it’s because women find it “endearing”….

…riiiiight.

Another reason women shouldn’t be boy crazy is because men give off strange odors that seem to linger.  Now, we men actually enjoy those odors when we release them, which adds to the reason women really shouldn’t be boy crazy, but it’s not about the men liking their odor, it’s about the fact they actually have the odors that makes men repulsive.

Reason number three is because men are filthy bovine that would rather chew their cud than get up and make a meal for themselves.

Yes, that’s right.  Men are filthy.  I think it was how they evolved over the years, or maybe they were created that way, either way…men just don’t like to clean up if they don’t have too.

And if you think that’s bad…how about this!  — Most of the time they won’t wash their hands after relieving themselves, and then they will go eat their lunch.  Oh!  and if they need silverware…yeah…they touch as many of them as possible while grabbing for one fork!  Think about that next time you’re in line for food at the cafeteria or buffet.

And one more thing…men like to spit.  They really do.  Spitting is a right of passage for all little boys; and when they get older, they add stuff to the spit to make it more spitty (is that a word?…no? …oh…well, it is now.)   And they don’t care where they spit…it just has to happen.  Spitting is manly…and it’s disgusting.

So yeah…women really shouldn’t be “boy crazy”, and they shouldn’t be “man crazy” either.

…no…

Women should just be who they are and remain naturally crazy.

So let’s be completely honest here…women who are boy or man crazy are really pathetic.

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Crazy for Boys

  1. You are just jealous that women aren’t writing posts about you! better believe this rant wouldn’t be here if there were!

    Men who are girl and women crazy and write about women who are boy and man crazy are pathetic.

    Hilarious rant, though!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hahaha….there aren’t very many men who write about being girl crazy. Most of them are just writing about how bad their relationship are.

      I guess that’s girl crazy…in a weird sort of way.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for following me – I can’t believe I’ve just found your blog! You’ve kept me laughing all morning 🙂

    Like

    • thanks! Haha! You’re very perceptive!

      Yes..I do recite these as I’m typing them up. But I’m not sure I could actually be stand up comedian. Too much pressure and too much of a perfectionist in me.

      Liked by 2 people

Herd Mooings

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