Law Firm Commercials


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I’m so thankful that I don’t watch daytime television anymore because it just so happens to be filled with more garbage than the Pacific Ocean.

Some of that garbage contains commercials for attorneys and law firms hoping to get a “fast settlement” for all those who have been traumatized by the never ending abuse that comes from… well … what we in the outside world call: “life“. 

It’s really quite pathetic how much they prey on you ‘cattle’ and how much of the herd actually falls for their mind games. 

law firm2The other night I saw one such commercial and it made me think of just how much I’ve missed in life.  I mean, I could have sued so many people for so many things over the years.  Things like…

Q: Did you happen to get hurt pulling your shirt over your head this morning?  

A:  YES!  Yes, I did.  I was pulling my shirt on over my head and a hair came out.  Not only did I lose the hair, but it hurt.  Let’s sue the fashion industry and the shirt manufacturer for baldness, pain and suffering and making it difficult to put on a shirt!   

Q: Did you stub your toe in the middle of the night on a piece of furniture that you recently moved across the room? 

A: Yes!  Yes, I did.  I moved it thinking it would look better in another spot, but that darn piece of furniture got in the way last night, and I stubbed my toe.  Now I can’t run the mega-marathon I planned to run next year.  Let’s sue the furniture manufacturer because if that piece wasn’t built, I wouldn’t have stubbed my toe! 

Q:  Did you or a loved one prick a finger on the needle of a turntable? 

A:  Yes!  Yes, I did.  I was putting the record on the turntable; and when I picked up the arm to place the needle on the record, I gently touched it with my finger to make sure it was still in place and I didn’t ruin the record, but the darn thing pricked me and made me bleed.  I guess we should sue the needle and turntable manufacturers for pain and suffering! 

What a waste! 

So much time and effort is placed on suing others for your own stupidity.  I’m sure there are millions in the herd sitting around at home, grazing on onion chips, watching Jerry Springer and waiting for those words to come across the television screen that read:

“Our qualified attorneys are standing by to make sure YOU get the settlement you deserve!!”

The attorneys are vultures and the rest of you are all Skua’sStealing what you didn’t work for and what doesn’t rightly belong to you.  In the animal kingdom it’s called:  cleptoparasitism.

I have some advice for you in the herd that like to sue others because of your own stupidity….

Stop suing people!!!  

law firm1If you need more money, I suggest that you get a job and if you have one that doesn’t pay very well…go get another one or a better paying one to supplement your income.

Better yet, go buy a lottery ticket and take your chances there, but for the love of turkey gravy and everything that’s edible … STOP SUING PEOPLE!

Commercials for law firms and lawyers are pathetic.

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2 thoughts on “Law Firm Commercials

Herd Mooings

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